Posted on May 8th, 2012 by Keith Ferrazzi
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I beat the drum for vulnerability in the workplace in almost every article I write. Today I want to shift your attention from your workplace to your child’s workplace: School. I know not everyone reading this has kids, but you may someday, or maybe you’re a college student yourself. Keep reading.
High school and college are pressure cookers – far more competitive than in my day, and it was intense then. I remember feeling so alone at times at Yale. Despite my gregarious outward appearance, I longed for real connection. To feel that I was enough.
This week, a friend from Yale sent me an op-ed from my alma mater’s daily that took me right back – not just to my undergrad time, but to a few years ago when I did a session with the freshman class there, organizing them into small groups to discuss the question, “Which major experiences of your past make up who you are today?" I was taken aback by the incredible personal struggles some of these young people had already faced – and also by their ability to open up when they felt safe to do so, and to support each other. Friendships were made that day that carried through all four years.
But tragically, the op-ed my friend sent was written in response to a student’s suicide several weeks ago; a boy whom apparently no one had any idea was struggling.
In her op-ed, recent graduate Kate Calhoun wrote:
“Yalies tend to talk freely about achievement but remain silent about hardship. In this stoic culture, people easily slip through the cracks. We notice when it becomes a tragedy of the magnitude of last week’s, but there are people all over Yale who need some support, compassion and relief.
“You can’t provide this support only in the toughest moments. It’s when people are in trouble that they are least likely to feel comfortable speaking up. Openness, encouragement, and understanding need to be cultivated long before hardship hits.”
Kids today need all the help we can give them to learn that the ability to open up to others about fears, doubts, and dreams is a key survival skill and a badge of strength. Then, once they learn that it’s OK, they need help learning how to do it – not just shoulder pats, but organized, facilitated peer coaching that lets the students develop the dialogue themselves.
I’m still working with Yale on this, and hopefully with more schools soon. A group of Yale Sophomores recently took a version of the myGreenlight training, translated for their specific environment by a couple of really bright students, and with a peer-coaching and support component built in. I was so moved and inspired by the enthusiastic response to the program. So many of them pushed past their comfort zones to share intimacy and vulnerability, and finished with better relationships and the knowledge that they could be themselves, warts included, and be respected and supported all the more.
Kate closes her piece with exactly the right suggestion (in fact, the one I’ve given many times) to give anyone the power to kickstart culture change where they learn, work, or play, in the absence of a formal program or help from leaders:
“Start small. Create the type of culture in your own life that you want to see across this campus. But start immediately. People close to you might need you more than they’re able to admit right now.”
Please share your ideas on how to help our kids open up. And thanks for listening.
Posted on April 24th, 2012 by Keith Ferrazzi
Today’s most successful careerists see every relationship they have as a source of new information and expertise. 
They consciously seek out relationships that can teach them more and are very open-minded about who might fall into that category.
Because they're savvy at tapping the knowledge of an entire network, they’re the ones who move steadily, confidently forward as the world spins through ever-faster cycles of change.
On a recent Social Capitalist call, Bill Taylor, author of Practically Radical and co-founder of Fast Company, gave exactly this quality a great name:
Humbitious.
The term originated in an IBM study that sought to identify the traits of their most high-impact employees. Turns out that ambition alone is mediocre; ambition plus intellectual humility is the winning combination.
Here’s what Bill had to say. It’s about continuous learning, but it’s also about leadership:
"IBM did a study a few years ago trying to address the simple question of what distinguishes the technologists, engineers, and leaders at IBM who have had a really huge impact on the company from other engineers and technologists, who, while excelling, haven’t had that same kind of impact. Read more →
Posted on April 10th, 2012 by Keith Ferrazzi
Every month myGreenlight.com hosts the Social Capitalist series, where top entrepreneurs, executives, and thought leaders are interviewed about the human 
side of success – the friends won, people influenced, and skills learned in everything from performing at work to launching a business.
Our most recent guest, Mark Divine, CEO of SEALFIT, NavySEALs.com, and US CrossFit, had some great ideas about managing stress, arguing that stress is actually necessary to grow, learn, and achieve high-performance.
He introduced the phrase “stressing yourself for success.” As he explained on the call:
“You can’t develop mental toughness without challenging yourself. I call it stressing yourself for success. There’s no question the human body is designed with that fight, flight, or freeze response, and you can interpret that to mean we’re not supposed to essentially stress ourselves out because we’re supposed to avoid stress or eliminate stress (which is impossible by the way) because it’s not good for our bodies."
“Well, that’s not true. Even in caveman days, it was the hunter who was able to control the stress response and turn it into a performance behavior that would allow him to get the most meat, face down the charging tiger, and organize a team to defeat him. That was called leadership. So, just because we have stress everyday in our life, doesn’t mean it has to be debilitating or lead to disease in our bodies.”
He suggested the following strategies to channel your stress into high performance and actionable success: Read more →
Posted on April 5th, 2012 by Keith Ferrazzi
Back in mid-January, a Tweet from Niall Doherty popped up on my radar:
I asked him if he'd write us a guest blog post to report back on his "Month of Generosity" and he agreed to keep us posted on his experience. Last week Niall sent in his report on what happened when he shifted his focus from his own success to helping those around him achieve more. Here is his story.
By: Niall Doherty
While reading Never Eat Alone for the first time earlier this year, I was particularly struck by the following words...
“You can be more successful in two months by becoming really interested in other people’s success than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in your own success.”
Throughout the previous months I'd come to realize just how addicted I was to self-promotion. I would often get so caught up in telling my own story and sharing my own ideas (either via my blog or in-person conversation), that I'd usually fail to find out the interesting stories of others and learn from them.
Keith's words above were the nudge I needed to finally go ahead and take steps to remedy this.
And so I came up with The Month Of No Self Promo. The idea was to flip everything for the month of February. What would happen if I held back on all forms of self-promotion and instead devoted my time and energy to helping others succeed? What would happen if I resisted the urge to tell my story and instead encouraged other people to tell theirs?
I crafted a handful of rules to abide by for the month: Read more →
Posted on March 23rd, 2012 by admin
Check out a few of the great posts on the myGreenlight blog this week:
Enjoy!
Posted on January 10th, 2012 by Keith Ferrazzi
I am just back from my second trip to Guatemala, and am feeling more committed than ever to weaving volunteerism and service into corporate America’s 
culture. There are so many in need, and I believe that as in all real relationships, the benefits are mutual – we receive as much or more than we give.
This year, it wasn’t just “my” trip. I traveled to Antigua, one of Guatemala’s poorest regions, with a group of 11 others, all of whom not only volunteered but also made donations (along with some of you via Paypal!). Together these donations will send 25 of the brightest, most promising children to school and pay for food and health care. Thank you to the Livecchi Family, the Lim Family, Gold, Jordan, and those who donated online!
Media entrepreneur Joe Livecchi wrote a trip diary and shared the story of a moment that I think is a strong metaphor for the entire experience. After spraining his ankle and having to sit out some of the day’s fun activities, he wrote: “One of the boys I had talked to earlier came over to check on me. He offers me a piece of the candy he retrieved from the piñata to try and ease my pain… That's when it hit me. I had flown thousands of miles to help these kids and I was the one being comforted by an eight-year-old child who has almost nothing.”
Again, we get more than we give. In fellow traveler Max Lyons’ words, “The transformational impact we're seeking to have in the lives of these children is being returned to me just as much, if not more so.”
Joe’s daughter, Sophie, age 12, wrote her own blog. My favorite line from it: “I suddenly just figured out this whole new world of poverty. Nobody on the other side realizes this world. If everyone could get the experience that I got to come here... The other half would be more grateful, and this half could get more help.”
As I wrote on the blog, I went intending to fund 10 children. I finished the trip with a total of 41 names. Together, between my donations, those of everyone on the trip, plus Paypal, we now have enough money to support 25. That means we’re looking for donations to support 16 more. For $200, these kids can go to school and have their basic needs paid for. I mean it when I say no donation is too small: If everyone who reads this email donates just ONE dollar, we’ll more than cover the $3200 we need for those children, and be able to support several more projects in those villages through Cultural Exchange.
Click here to contribute. I will follow up next week and let you know whether we hit the target!
If you’re interested in reading all the blogs from this year’s trip, here are the links together:
Max Lyons: The Transformational Impact of Service
Growing a Middle Class through Education: The Story of Our Seven
Collaborative Action Comes to Life in Guatemala
For Chet
In Guatemala, $200 Can Change a Life
Joe Livecchi: One Family, One Mission
Sophia Livecchi: Our Guatemalan Mission Through a Child's Eye
Thanks for reading – and I look forward to some of you coming on a future trip!
P.S. Check out Mark Goulston's Usable Insight mailings at: http://markgoulston.com and sign up at the NEWSLETTER SIGNUP window. I've been a subscriber for several years!
Posted on December 13th, 2011 by Keith Ferrazzi
Ready for this month's myGreenlight master's mission? This is your chance to identify the fundamental "needle movers" that will create success in 2012. -KF
Does the idea of setting goals instantly paralyze you? Have you found goal-setting to be an ineffective way to create real change in your life?
On a recent Social Capitalist call, the author, CEO, venture capitalist, and coach Christine Comaford gave myGreenlighters the following mission to improve their 2012 planning:
Identify needle movers, rather than goals, for 2012.
Needle movers are actions that will truly move the needle forward in your business or personal life – essentially goals that change your life fundamentally. While a goal is binary and can leave you feeling great or defeated, a needle mover ends with you either reaching your target (what you want), the minimum (what you are willing to accept), or a mind blowing result (beyond your wildest dreams!). You won’t always get the exact result you want but you will have moved the needle forward.
To complete Christine’s mission, write down the three things that would change everything for you in your business life and your personal life. Three in each category. For example, Christine said that one of her 2012 needle movers will be to take at least seven personal retreats to do yoga and explore nature throughout the year. Getting centered allows her to be of better service to her network and to be overall more productive, healthy, and happy.
What are your 2012 needle movers? Please share – your ideas may inspire someone else!
Posted on October 25th, 2011 by Keith Ferrazzi
If you’re like most of us, you know there are things that you do better than anybody else – areas where you believe you’re nothing short of 
genius, whether you say it out loud or not. Does your current work allow you to tap that genius?
If you’re like many people – and Gallup studies unfortunately back this up – the answer is no.
Enter Practical Genius: The Real Smarts You Need to Get Your Talents and Passions Working for You, Gina Amaro Rudan’s new book that shows you how to identify, express, sustain, and market your genius to the world.
Today I’m happy to share “Identify Your Genius,” the first step in the book’s 5-step program. The goal is to:
- Identify the foundation of your “practical genius,” which are hard assets – your skills, strengths, and expertise.
- Identify your soft personal assets – your passions, creative abilities, and values.
- Identify the sweet spot where the hard and soft assets meet.
Gina calls that sweet spot “the other G-spot.” (I’ve worked with Gina personally so can testify that her great sense of humor isn’t only on the page, she carries it with her!) She writes:
Think of your other G-spot as the ultimate measure by which you make every decision, whether it’s choosing your next employer, your next lover, or the next place you want to live. You can also consider it a formula that will never fail to hold you accountable to staying at the authentic, powerful core of who you are. The other G-spot is a place that is never tilted too far toward the soft (personal) side of who you are nor too far toward the hard (professional) side of who you are. Once you find it and learn to stay there, life becomes much easier, goals become more attainable, relationships prosper, and you will find that achieving results is far easier.
What about you: Have you identified your personal brand of Genius – and are you getting to use it at work?
Posted on October 11th, 2011 by Keith Ferrazzi
Today's post is a Master's Mission from the team at myGreenlight, drafted from their recent Social Capitalist interview with author and investor James Altucher. If you aren't familiar with James, I highly recommend you check his work out. He's carved a personal brand out of unflinching (and hilarious) honesty in writing and talking about his rollercoaster of successes and failures. His stories and advice are almost guaranteed to help you let go of excuses and get to work! - KF
On the latest Social Capitalist webinar, guest James Altucher introduced myGreenlight to what he calls 
“The Daily Practice,” four steps that put you in the right place to succeed by helping you create better ideas and more energy. It was “The Daily Practice” that picked James back up after each of his failures and ultimately led him to success.
The Daily Practice:
- Take care of your physical health. You can’t succeed if you’re sick and out of shape. Eating right and getting physically fit increases your energy and makes it much easier for you to succeed.
- Take care of your emotional health/intimate relationships. If you’re in a series of bad relationships or constantly arguing with your family, spouse, or boss you are not going to have the emotional health to find the energy to build a business or succeed.
- Mental health - flex your idea muscle. You have to be able to generate ideas and have the confidence that your ideas are good. Building your idea muscle requires practice and time just like building any other kind of muscle.
- Spiritual health: Be prepared to surrender and find gratitude. You have to know that there are going to be times that are so difficult you will have to throw up your hands and say to a higher power, “I give up, I need help.” That can mean surrendering to the creative superpower inside of yourself or to a greater power outside of yourself. When you get to the point where you feel like you’ve done all you can, you need to be able to surrender and ask for help. When the help comes you also need to not take it for granted.
James believes that if any of these four things are out of whack you won’t have the energy to successfully put your goals first. They have to be working in conjunction for you to be able to rise up from failure.
Visit James' blog for a more specific take on how to institute his Daily Practice. Then take this week to try it out!
What tricks do you use to get your ideas and your energy flowing? Share with the group!
Posted on August 16th, 2011 by Keith Ferrazzi
This mission is by Mike Figliuolo, managing director of thoughtLEADERS, LLC and author of the new leadership book One Piece of Paper: The Simple Approach to Powerful, Personal Leadership. I use my vision boards as triggers. Do you have something that does this for you?-KF
Life can get stressful at times. When you get stressed, you will tend to focus intently on your stressor. That focus can lead you to lose perspective on things that might be much more important.
Your mission is to create a simple reminder that will help you regain your perspective. Choose something that is a personal memory and something that has solid emotional meaning for you. It can be the birth of a child, the loss of a loved one, or a major life event. It could be a simple phrase you’ve heard someone important to you use when they were stressed (e.g., “this isn’t rocket science.”). Just make sure whatever trigger you choose has deep personal meaning to you.
Once you’ve chosen that reminder, practice using it when things get stressful. If you’re having a bad day at work, remembering what’s really important in life can make your present situation less stressful. So go ahead – pick your reminder and start putting it into practice in stressful situations. It will reduce your stress, help you regain perspective, and improve your performance.
