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MyGreenlight friend and contributor Michael Margolis is offering a cool (and free) 5-part video series as part of the run up to his virtual Reinvention Summit 2, the world’s largest online conference on storytelling on April 16-20 - check it out.
Storytelling is an indispensable skill that goes hand in hand with building your network. You can use it to reposition and grow your company, champion a cause, or reboot your career.
Remember my advice in Never Eat Alone to "be interesting" as you build new relationships? Stories are one of the best ways to do that. From the book:
Virtually everyone new you meet in a situation is asking themselves a variation on one question: “Would I want to spend an hour eating lunch with this person?”
Consultants call it the airport question. In the lengthy interview process that that industry had become famous for – a peppering of complicated case studies and logic-testing puzzles – the one question consultants use to choose one person over a pool of equally talented candidates is the one question they ask only of themselves: “If I were trapped in John F. Kennedy Airport for a few hours [and all travel-weary consultants inevitably spend too much time in airports], would I spend it with this person?”
Have you worked on telling the fascinating story of your career, both verbally and in resumes, bios, and online profiles?
I met Garrett at Summit Series and was so impressed by his success story launching his nonprofit (buoyed by advice from NEA!) that I asked him to contribute a blog. Audacity and the power of a great idea are the big drivers here. - KF
I was a college student when I co-founded SEE College Prep, a non-profit that has helped more than 1,300 low-income high school students improve their SAT scores an average of 200 points and become the first in their families to go on to college. At the time, I had no idea what it meant to raise large amounts of money, or the kinds of relationships I would need to build to do so.
Fortunately, a friend clued me in to Keith and Never Eat Alone and that wisdom has supported me ever since. It has been an extraordinary learning curve: in a short period of time, I went from not knowing a single person who could donate more than a few hundred dollars, to raising nearly $2 million in 18 months.
I followed my heart, risked embarrassment by asking simple questions, and found the courage to ask for people’s time and eventually money. I was empowered by the mission of what I was trying to achieve, and since I had a calling I knew that no request was too silly or too bold. I reached out to mentor after mentor—first professors, then non-profit leaders, then heavy hitters like Stanford University President John Hennessy and billionaires John Fisher, John Morgridge, and Laurene Powell Jobs. Not all of these conversations were successful, but I saw first-hand how little I knew and how much people were willing to help. Technology has helped people like me: many of the most impressive people I’ve met have agreed to meet following a cold e-mail; some of those people are my closest mentors and advisors today. Read more →
I heard today that my friend Chet Holmes, who has always been so generous with his time and advice is back in the hospital. Chet's fight with cancer this past year has been an inspiration to me. I saw he and his family for a wonderful and fun dinner with strong spirits the night before he went back into the hospital. My prayers are with him and I hope yours will be too.
Keith
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Subject: He reminded me of you so I funded his education and then another...
Hey Chet, you just changed some lives. Well, your inspiration of me prompted me to step up in your honor. These boys have the guts and courage and persistence of Chet Holmes. Through all you have dealt with this past year you remain an inspiration to me and I send you the gift of my love and admiration and also the knowledge that you have now changed two boys lives forever.
Here's the back story. I met Jose two years ago when we visited his school and he proceeded to follow us around all day in the village and act as our tour guide. Such charisma. We ended the tour back at his home which he was so proud of. It was a one room shack for he and his family with dirt floors but his pride was real and you could tell they kept the room as cleas as a dirt floor allowed. We left him and his family with food supplies to last months.
Well, last year we were originally scheduled to revisit Guatemala and Jose heard that the Americans were coming back. This is a boy who lives many miles from any bookstore but somehow found his way into the city and somehow bought a copy of my book (translated in spanish). He wanted to be able to say he read it and wanted me to sign it. We changed our plans and and ended up visiting Cambodia and Thailand. Then two years after having met Jose, we were visiting a school in another village and Jose found his way to us and when I turned around I saw this slightly older version (now 13) of our young "tour guide" proudly holding a copy of "Nunca Comas Solo." I was blown away.
Again we spent the afternoon with Jose. And if that wasn't enough, one other punctuating great moment. In your honor, I had given Jose the support he said was most important to he and his family and I was telling Jose that I really wanted him to go to school. It's a struggle to get these kids to attend school when their families need the money. Over my shoulder a little boy tapped me and said,"Do you want me to go to school?" I smiled as another little Chet found his way to me. "Yes, I do want you to go to school and I'll even pay for it." He responded, "How about college?" I laughed out loud and said, "Absolutely!" Knowing that my contribution in your honor had just taken an unexpected spike, but so joyful to reward such perseverant behavior in the face of whatever adversity. So Chet, you have changed the lives of these two young men, and may their gratitude and joy spread into your healing process and lift your already inspiring spirit.
Controversial was right: Thank you to the 80+ readers who responded on the blog to my question about your level of comfort and success blending your personal and professional lives.
Most of you spoke enthusiastically to being “one self” at work and at home, and listed the many benefits of doing so – with a canny awareness for the need to set both personal and professional boundaries.
But I’m more interested right now in pulling the contras into the spotlight. Here’s four that I think are representative of the very real challenges and fears that can come with blending:
Hostile/Competitive Workplace: “My coworkers would use anything they could learn about you to screw you and your career. You are talking idealistic nonsense… My coworkers [at a large white collar office were the education level is graduate level or higher] are the enemy. That is the real world in private industry. Most people do not work in Disney Land. And never help out a fellow employee. That shows you are weak and a loser.” – Albert
Worry about Getting Stuck on the Mommy Track: “When my children were small, I occasionally needed to take time off to attend school functions or to care for them, if they were ill. The problem is that this is how women end up on the ‘Mommy Track.’ In addition, discussing one's personal life at work is (seen as) unprofessional. If I had it to do over, I would have kept my mouth shut and just used my own vacation or sick days, without letting anyone know why.” – Karen Read more →
In Never Eat Alone, I argued against people trying to balance their home and work lives. Instead, I advised blending – integrating the two worlds so that you’re not constantly faced with choosing one over the other. Ideally, I want you to have close, personal, and authentic relationships with people in the work place – so why create a false divide? The title of the chapter clearly stated my feelings: “Balance Is B.S.”
Of course, plenty of people disagree. They think that it’s blending that’s B.S. – your personal and professional lives should rarely mix, if ever. When The Wall Street Journal published a blog item on this issue, it generated considerable feedback, with more than 200 people weighing in on the topic.
“My personal life is on a need-to-know basis,” wrote one person, “and the people I work with don’t need to know.” From another: “My company actually grades you at review time on your ‘ability to keep personal life out of the workplace.’”
Earlier this year, The Harvard Business Review posted a blog item saying that business e-mails should never contain such personal niceties like, “see you at the Red Sox game next weekend.” The author’s reasoning: “Just as there is separation between church and state, so too do those barriers exist in business and our personal lives.”
It’s pretty clear to me that when we deepen the relationships in the different spheres of our life, blending becomes inevitable, and, ultimately, we lead a more satisfying life. But I recognize that there are times when this is more difficult than others. When work is incredibly stressful, we feel we need a refuge that takes our mind off it. Or when we’re boxed into a job that’s not quite the right fit that we’d like to work our way out of.
I plan to write about how to reconcile these tensions (can we?) in my upcoming book, and I’m eager to include stories from all of you.
So tell me: Is your personal life on a “need to know” basis at work and why? Has it always been that way? Or if you’ve had success in blending your home and work lives, let me know how you were able to accomplish that.
Keith's Never Eat Alone co-author has a great blog on his interview with Dr. Jeffrey Pfeffer, author of Power: Why Some People Have It and Others Don't. Check it out!
Once a month I'll be presenting a stellar success story from someone who has read my books or participated in the Relationship Masters Academy. This month's story comes from Terence Kirby and highlights how a little audacity can lead to a lot of success. Terence is the VP of Sales & Marketing at School Gate Guardian. He tweets @KeepSchoolsSafe.-KF
"Right out of college, I was one of about 75 candidates for a pretty good sales job. For whatever reason, the owner of the company and I hit it off. He promised me I would be one of five follow-up interviews and that he would contact me no later than Monday of the following week.
Monday came and went and I started getting nervous that I was wrong that we had hit it off, and that he was just being polite. I still had not heard from him by Wednesday so I called him and asked him point blank if he still intended to have me back for a follow-up interview. His response was yes; he would call back by the end of the week to schedule. I took a deep breath and simply said, 'Since I have you on the phone right now, why don't we just go ahead and schedule that meeting?'
Since this was for a sales position this seemed to be the right thing to say since it's a situation I'd be likely to face in the field – you're often promised sales presentations by prospective customers when they never intend to meet with you. He seemed to like the way I went about this and said, 'Sure, let's meet for lunch at my favorite restaurant this Friday and we will talk about the position'. I got the job that Friday. He later told me that by me forcing the appointment on him he felt I was the right candidate for the job. As you can see below I am now the VP of Sales & Marketing for a successful software company. Thanks for the reminder for success!!!!"
You're welcome Terence! Tell me about a time you won by being audacious – or what's holding you back.
Reinvention Summit 2, the world’s largest online conference on storytelling on April 16-20 - check it out.
Well, last year we were originally scheduled to revisit Guatemala and Jose heard that the Americans were coming back. This is a boy who lives many miles from any bookstore but somehow found his way into the city and somehow bought a copy of my book (translated in spanish). He wanted to be able to say he read it and wanted me to sign it. We changed our plans and and ended up visiting Cambodia and Thailand. Then two years after having met Jose, we were visiting a school in another village and Jose found his way to us and when I turned around I saw this slightly older version (now 13) of our young "tour guide" proudly holding a copy of "Nunca Comas Solo." I was blown away.
your personal and professional lives.
