Posted on September 17th, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

leapcoverRecently I received an advanced copy of The Leap, a thought-provoking and inspiring new book by my friend Rick Smith.  I met Rick through his work with World 50, the uber-influential executive networking company he founded a few years back. 

The Leap is most powerful when it pushes readers to bust through their own personal glass ceilings, to use one of my favorite phrases. To use Rick’s phraseology, we get stuck in a “Now Trap” because our brains are constantly trying to protect us from an uncertain future. So instead of leaping forward toward our dreams, we get mired in psychological warfare between our creative and reactionary aspects.

The key idea here is that the very idea of “potential” is created in our minds.  The limits to that potential are created in the very same place. WE are the biggest thing holding us back from greatness. Not only do I agree with that, I’ve experienced it on a profoundly personal level, part of the story I told in Who’s Got Your Back

As the following exclusive excerpt from The Leap illustrates, it is our willingness to tackle head on the forces that hold us in place that allows us to achieve our greatest potential. Rick dispels the myths that hold us back, and challenges us to once again dream big. Enjoy!

Excerpt from The Leap:  How 3 Simple Changes Can Propel your Career from Good to Great, by Rick Smith

At first glance, we humans would seem to be built for innovation and entrepreneurship. We’re the species that dreams big things, the one that imagines a different future for ourselves, and it all begins with our neural architecture.

For 500 million years, the human brain (and the proto-human one that preceded it) did little more than poke along, not changing materially in size or shape. Then, beginning about 2 to 3 million years ago, our gray matter started to explode. Today, in what amounts to a wink in geological time, we have doubled our average brain volume from that benchmark break point.

But volume is the least of it. Cranial studies and other evidence show conclusively that what grew most dramatically in the brain over the last several million years was the frontal lobe, the part of the brain that allows us to visualize the future and anticipate coming events.

Today, we spend on average 12 percent of our time—3 hours each day, or roughly 10 years in an 80-year life span—contemplating what is to come. This is what makes us different from every other living thing: We live in the present but keep a foot in the past and the future.

Put another way, a cheetah or a great white shark or even our close DNA cousin the orangutan has to prove itself every day. We don’t. We store up canned goods and water in case the power goes out; buy homes on time, via mortgages, in anticipation of rising values and future earning power; save money for our kids’ college education so they can have a better a life than us; and invest in IRAs, Keoghs, and 401(k)s to help feather our own old age.

Torn Between Opposites
The planning-dreaming-poet side of the brain, the part that’s ready to leap toward wherever opportunity might wait, is one facet. But there’s another, older, survival-driven part of the brain that works in almost exact opposition.

Encouraged by our huge new frontal lobe, we envision big things to come, but when push comes to shove, our older brain fights like mad to defend the current state of our lives. We court risk in our imagination, then run from it in our daily lives. We are almost compelled to plot out alternative story lines for our lives and careers and families, but we are compelled even more powerfully to avoid what we imagine. That’s the great irony of humankind: we are at once the animal capable of dreaming and the one that holds itself back from achieving its dreams. True, we are wired to think about the future, but in critical ways, we are wired to think about it incorrectly.

Stuck in the present, we fret over how far up the corporate ladder we can climb, whether we will ever make VP of Sales, or what our compensation will be a dozen years out, when we really need to be asking ourselves is what we should be doing with the rest of our lives. If we’re not fulfilled, if we’re not in touch with what we intuit our potential to be, the rest—titles, offices, salary—is all window dressing and empty calories.

The frontal lobe speaks loudly enough in our private daily counsels that we all know this to be true to some extent. We long for the change that will make us fully in touch with out essential selves. We ache for work that will leave us fulfilled and content. But the rest of our brain, conditioned by millions of years of human and prehuman experience, anticipates failure, not success. And because it does, it sends a very different message: The upside of dramatic change isn’t worth the effort and exposure involved.

In effect, we imagine the future not so we can embrace it, but so we can avoid it.

Buying into Your Own Status Quo
In effect, you have created a status quo and bought into it; studies have consistently shown that the bigger the bet and the more you fretted over it, the more certain you are that your reasoning is sound and the outcome you have predicted highly likely. That’s the way the brain works. It makes us sweat and strain over our decisions like a crew of ditchdiggers; then, once the decision is made, the brain invokes a psychological defense clause that says, Well, that sounds like a great bet to me. I’ll stick with it through thick and thin.

So it is with jobs and careers and even life patterns. We often invest so heavily in them, and buy into the logic of our investment and decision making so thoroughly, that we see abandoning them at the one extreme as a kind of psychological suicide and at the other as an unnecessary dare, given that the future (as our flawed brains paint it) is so likely to re-create the present. Rather than face up to the potential of positive, dramatic change, we silence the argument within ourselves, and in doing so, we spare ourselves the pain both of a difficult contemplation and of potentially realizing that our assumptions about the future have been fundamentally flawed.

In various branches of science, this is known as a closed system. In more everyday terms, it’s like walking into a dead-end alley. Maybe we should think of it as the “Now Trap.” What is closes in around us. What could be seems impossibly distant. And the space between them appears far too risky to navigate. No wonder our personal ruts seem so hard to escape—they are, in fact, Now Traps every one.

The Roads Not Taken
These are the pranks the brain plays on us. This is the way it builds the Now Trap that holds us in the ruts of our lives and careers. The brain provides us with a massive frontal lobe to imagine the future, then tricks us into believing that whatever lies out there for us will not be all that different than the present. The brain gifts each of us with enormous potential, then convinces us that the risk of pursuing our potential is greater than the reward of achieving it. It allows us to envision what we might become, then tells us we lack the talent and skills to get there.

We can’t help longing after the choices not made, the roads not taken, more than the choices we do make and the roads we do take. That again is part of what being a human being is all about. We’re the decision-making, decision-regretting animal; we have the capacity to rue as well as to anticipate and to envision alternative futures for ourselves. But unlike the poet Robert Frost, we can’t quite bring ourselves to take those roads less traveled, the ones that make, in Frost’s words, “all the difference.”

Our psychological immune system is poised to jump. It wants us to make the Leap. It can deal far more easily with too much courage than with too much cowardice. It’s more comfortable with our stumbling forward than with our hedging our bets. But the brain won’t let us do that without a fight that most of us are not prepared to make.

Thus we wage psychological warfare on ourselves. But—and this is the critical point—we don’t have to. The Now Trap is formidable, but it’s not Houdini proof. We simply have to start looking at life through a different lens. The fact is, the woods are full of ordinary people, everyday Joes and Janes, who have broken free from the Now Trap and transformed rut-stuck careers into deeply fulfilling callings—work that not only has brought them great personal satisfaction but has also had a great and lasting impact on others.

Above all else, remember this: whatever traps we may feel stuck in are largely of our own making. What we have built we can also undo. What we can dream we can achieve.

Question: What fears are stopping you from achieving your full potential -- and to what degree can our relationships help us escape the Now Trap?

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Posted on September 7th, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

rosie_the_riveterToday we celebrate the contributions of the American worker - at a time when umployment is at its highest in 26 years. Why not use the holiday to set some intentions around contributing to the greater good this week - and of course, beyond this week. We're not going to come out of crisis by government edict. It's going to take everyone's commitment.

A few suggestions - and feel free to add your own in comments.

1. Call the people you know who are out of work and ask them a very simple question: "What can I do to help?" Then be prepared to follow through.

2. Bring in a home cooked meal or cater lunch for your team or a couple colleagues at work, and focus the conversation on positive intentions.

3. Have an opinion on the health care debate?  Write your rep

And here, from Chris Brogan, are suggestions for kind acts you can accomplish without leaving your desk chair.

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Posted on July 22nd, 2009 by Sara Grace

Keith will be sharing success strategies from WGYB to help people manage this tough economy, on Weds, July 29, at 1 PM EST. Executive coach Patricia Wheeler will moderate.

The seminar is FREE and you can register here.



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Posted on June 24th, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

Yesterday I went to the coolest gym EVER in Dallas!  (I talk about it in the video below.) It’s called Doug’s Gym.  Doug is 78 years old, has never been to a doctor, and has been a free weight proponent his entire life – no weight machines in this gym.  If I had to describe it myself, I’d say it looks like a cross between a gym and a homeless shelter.

I’m going back today and am recording a segment on “How to Outsource Your Workout,” special appearance by Doug himself!  Man is a living legend.”

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Posted on June 12th, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

Kit Cooper of the Quality of Life Project today gives us “10 Things” that define the good life for him. While his nonprofit is devoted to promoting study and discussion around quality of life, he doesn’t pretend to be the expert – we all need to become experts at forging our own happiness.

Share your 10 things in the comments below!

  1. Being in tune with myself
    I have always been an introspective person but when I was 20 I had an experience which set me on the path of examining myself.  It’s a long story but that experience led me to better knowing myself (which certainly included some discomfort) and ultimately being a more confident person.
  2. Managing the mix
    It is difficult because not only do things evolve over time but at a given time there are multiple and sometimes overlapping quality of life drivers that you need to prioritize.  It becomes an art form, for example, to know how much to focus on work given the quality of life dividends of financial success and the flexibility it can allow later.
  3. Work
    I don’t feel good unless I have interesting work that keeps me busy.  While I enjoy work, I believe that there have to be periods of stress and flux to ultimately achieve progress.
  4. Being in nature
    Spending time in nature is a key part of my enjoying life.  It’s where I have the most fun but I also need to be in nature a lot to  just feel right.
  5. Being independent
    To me, this actually means taking offense when others try to tell me how I should live.   The reality is given the extent of product and idea marketing out there that does NOT have your personal interests in mind, you HAVE TO BE skeptical in order to live your best life.  Don’t let someone bring down your quality of life because they want you to buy their shitty salad dressing. :-)
  6. Enjoying the contradictions in life
    I don’t want my life to make perfect sense.  Walt Whitman in Song to Myself said, “Do I contradict myself?  Very well, then, I contradict myself.  I am large, I contain multitudes.”  I believe getting the most out of life means allowing dichotomies to exist.  I can’t live without being mature but I also can’t live without being immature.
  7. Money
    What I want in life is to have freedom of movement.  To go where I want to go when I want. Money helps on this front; doing well financially is a goal of mine for this reason.
  8. Guarding my time
    Time is my most precious resource.  I exercise in a way that minimizes time.  I plan phone calls before I do ten minute plus drives.  I always have reading material with me when opportunities for lines or delays exist.  I also realize there are some people out there that don’t get me or appreciate me and I am good about not prioritizing my time to be with them.   Back to the point of letting contradictions exist, I am also a big fan of idle time.  I have been called a “football thug” by my wife on more than one occasion.
  9. Working hard at relationships
    I have relationship issues like anyone but I work hard at doing what I can do to minimize family and relationship problems. I don’t like drama and stress and using my time on repair issues when I could be using that time on other stuff.
  10. Being organized
    One of the most common traits I’ve observed in people that enjoy life is a “make it happen” approach.  Being organized and doing the things that makes you happy work hand in hand.

Your 10 things??

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Posted on June 8th, 2009 by Sara Grace
  • SIGN UP for Keith's FREE TELESEMINAR TODAY with Seth Godin and John Jantsch, 12 EASTERN
  • KEITH's GUEST POST on Well-Read Life about students getting the most out of college
  • The AP's NY Times Who's Got Your Back #1 Bestseller announcement (scroll to HARDCOVER NONFICTION)
  • NEW VIDEO: A word with three Washington, DC pastors on Who's Got Your Back

Also, on Friday WSJ had WGYB at #1 on their list - so Keith's now hit #1 on Amazon, NYT, and WSJ - what's next!?????

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Posted on May 29th, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

I'm doing a series of free teleseminars over the next few weeks - they'll be full of tips, advice, and insight, not just from me but from some incredible authors who I'm proud to be working with. I can promise lively and fun conversation, with takeaways that you can put into practice right away.

Here's the full list - signup and reserve a spot now!

CALL #1 - Keith with Seth Godin and John Jantsch
Date: Monday, June 8 at 12pm ET
Register: http://authorteleseminars.com/keithferrazzi1.html

CALL #2 - Keith with Dan Pink and Pam Slim
Date: Thursday, June 11 at 3pm ET
Register: http://authorteleseminars.com/keithferrazzi2.html

CALL #3 - Keith with Michael Port and Chris Brogan
Date: Monday, June 15 at 1pm ET
Register: http://www.authorteleseminars.com/keithferrazzi5.html

CALL #4 - Keith with Tim Ferriss and Guy Kawasaki
Date: Thursday, June 18 at 1pm ET
Register:http://authorteleseminars.com/keithferrazzi3.html

CALL #5 - Keith with Ivan Misner (BNI) and Andrea J Lee
Date: Tuesday, June 23 at 3pm ET
Register: http://authorteleseminars.com/keithferrazzi4.html

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Posted on May 28th, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

Pauline Wiessner’s research on the !Kung bushmen in the Kalahari - see yesterday's NY Times piece, tells you everything you need to know for survival in a hostile climate, whether it’s the desert or Wall Street:

1.    Give gifts. (Preferably hand-made…)
2.    Tell stories. (Stories that make the people you know look good…)
3.    Visit friends. (Particularly if they offer a free place to stay…)

Not to reincarnate the noble savage, but tribal people do get something that First-worlders have lost and could stand to recapture: Depending on each other – for generosity, vulnerability, candor, and, above all, accountability –  is the best, the fastest, and maybe the only way to get ourselves out of the economic mess we’re in.

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Posted on May 21st, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

Thanks with all the help through Twitter and FB with my prep yesterday. Ready for the result? Watch the clip!

For those who don't feel like watching, the basic point:

"Free works as a promotion...all marketing is generosity. You are trying to build a relationship with the consumer. If you lead with free, you get permission to actually have a conversation to follow it up.

We have got to get reconnected with the consumer."

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