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Did you read the recent New Yorkerpiece on brainstorming? Jonah Lehrer, the author of Imagine: How Creativity Works, took on the orthodoxy of the “brainstorming session” as the best way to generate innovation and creativity. Every day I see companies whose leaders want people to think outside the box, and most of them have come to rely on brainstorming as the way to do it.
“Brainstorming” dates back to 1948, when Alex Osborn first developed the idea in his book, Your Creative Power. For Osborn, and for brainstormers ever since, the most important ground rule is to suspend criticism and negative judgment. In the safe space of the brainstorm, any idea is good, so goes the gospel.
The problem, as Lehrer points out, is that this doesn’t really help generate new ideas. Research conducted since the ‘70s shows that allowing criticism and debate reliably generates more ideas, and more of the ideas are truly innovative and practical. “It is the human friction that makes the sparks,” Lehrer writes. Read more →
According to a survey conducted by U.S. Senator Robert Menendez (D-NJ) in 2010, approximately 18% of corporate directors are women and 14.5% are minorities. To put this into perspective, the number of women and minorities on corporate boards is less than half what would be expected based on their proportion of the general population.
The fact that there is a discrepancy is indisputable, but the reason for the shortfall is not so clear. Is it blatant discrimination, or is there something else at work here? The answer is probably a combination of both.
I have worked with many women and minorities in my executive coaching business and I have found that when they apply the principles of perception, visibility, and influence—what I refer to as the PVI model—they are able to advance their careers faster and further than they previously thought possible. They do this by earning the respect of their colleagues and bosses, becoming known throughout the company as someone who can be depended on to solve problems and deliver quality work, and learning how to exert their influence at all levels of the organization.
Many of the challenges faced by women and minorities in the workplace can be attributed to cultural differences and differences in the way boys and girls are raised. These challenges can be overcome if you are aware of them and adapt your behavior to change the way you are perceived.
Here are three challenges women and minorities might face, along with strategies you can use to overcome them. Read more →
My short piece for the January-February HBR is available online already, about promoting workplace candor – a blurb:
…in our research at more than 50 large companies over the past three years, we identified “observable candor” as the behavior that best predicts high-performing teams. But asking people to be candid in the absence of a supportive organizational culture is a challenge. We believe that forthrightness should not just be encouraged but required. We’ve developed three techniques to help coworkers at all levels interact more directly…
Have you ever wondered if it’s worth reconnecting with a lapsed professional contact?
Your mission: Reconnect with a professional contact whom you haven’t contact with in 3 years or more, in person or via phone. As part of the conversation, ask the contact for information or advice on a current work project.
I actually pulled this “mission” from a study recently published in the MIT Sloan Management Review. The experience of hundreds of executives who reconnected with an old contact was that, YES, it’s absolutely worth it.
Professors Daniel Z. Levin, Jorge Walter, and J. Keith Murnighan found that the advice the executives received was as useful – often even more useful –than the advice they received from current contacts.
Here’s another tip: Don’t get too stuck on who’s the “best” person to contact. According to the study, when executives were asked to rank their top 10 lapsed contacts and reapproach them all, it turned out that the 10th most valued contact offered as many rewards as the 1st.
Let’s talk about Tuesday’s tip, the controversial interview clip in which Guy (and by reprinting it, I) endorse replacing “you're welcome” with “I know you would do the same for me.”
First thing to say is that Guy Kawasaki is among the most generous people I know in the guru biz. He is not a man who keeps score, and his book Enchantment shines with his good will. If instead of quoting from Guy’s glib interview with me I had reprinted the full passage from the book, which emphasizes that it’s never enchanting to make someone feel like they owe you, controversy would have been averted.
But I’m glad it wasn’t. The seemingly hard edge of Guy’s advice spurred a conversation that gets right at some of the wrong-headed black and white logic that still governs conventional thinking on relationship building, and especially business relationship building.
Many of you shared the opinion of Tom A., who emailed me, “It is not generous to expect something in return, it’s just a business transaction. If generosity is a value that produces goodwill and deepens relationships, then I help someone not because I expect a favor, but because friends help friends (and sometimes strangers). Generosity helps me dig deeper in the relationship. Reducing my act to favor for favor, in my opinion, devalues the relationship.”
Of course Tom is right about not keeping score. But it's also true that business relationships and relationships are not sleazy on one side and sacred on the other. We are beyond the either/or days. We're social animals, living in an age of social business. Generosity and candor are more important than ever before. I argue that Cialdini’s quote supports both.
Now, the clip confuses things, because Guy jokingly emphasized the “velvet hammer,” the “you owe me” aspect of the comment. But here’s what’s really at play.
So many of us are great at being generous to others, but think that receiving (or god forbid asking for) a hand is a state of selfishness. Or that to have a motive in building a relationship makes it necessarily “transactional.”
In fact, true generosity, the generosity that makes us human, that makes business tick and markets climb, is reciprocal. It recognizes that we all have agendas and that we’re all both looking to support and looking to be supported. Create the right network and your system of relationships falls into balanced exchange – you give and you get and you give and you get and everyone’s happy, healthy and wealthy.
Reciprocity matters. It matters to you, and there’s never a moment that you’re not aware of that. If you pretend that that’s not the case – that you’re wandering the earth looking for endless opportunities to do a good turn – then you’re not being candid. You’re being disingenuous. And people sense that.
That’s the second reason I value Cialdini’s quote. It’s honest. Avoiding this admission that you have self-interest is why so many people have to ask me, “Now that I’ve made a friend, how do I turn the conversation to business?” Stop hiding your agendas! They are implicit in everything we do and there’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean you don’t care about the people you meet, it doesn't mean your generosity is false, and it doesn’t mean you’re keeping score.
To paraphrase the two sides, on the one hand there is, "Just love everybody and give generously without ever keeping score!" and on the other hand there is, "Love and give generously to ensure you score well."
If I had to choose between the former (the overwhelming response in the comments) and the latter (the essence of Guy's story), I'd choose the latter. It's at least more authentic. Pretending to be Mother Theresa isn’t real.
The best path lies somewhere in between. But again, I’d argue that the rush to slam Guy’s quote suggests not just a desire to be selfless, but even more so a culturally-inscribed fear and disavowal of openly admitting that YES, you require the generosity of others to survive and thrive. The more often we’re willing to admit we need others, to wear that on our sleeves, the more free we’ll be to be truly generous.
January is the perfect time for focusing on making real change in our wealth, family, and career. Health too, but for so many people, that resolve only lasts about two weeks!
So let’s talk today about wealth. Here’s the most common question I’m getting:
“How do I earn more money?”
Well, you know my broad answer: Success through relationships. Whatever it is you want to do, build the network of relationships that will make it happen, and success will be yours.
But I also want to introduce you to someone who’s more directly focused on how to generate new income. He’s a New York Times best-selling author, he writes for over 300,000 people every month, and I think he’s the sharpest mind on helping you earn more money -- ethically and using the skills you already have.
His name is Ramit Sethi and I asked him to put together something special for you -- including a 67-page e-book on earning more money in 2011, available through this link.
Now, here’s Ramit:
Earning more via freelancing isn’t just for writers and designers. And it’s not only about “trading your time for money.”
Begin by thinking of how your skills can solve other people’s problems right now. Write down the top three skills you have that can solve other people’s real problems today.
I have a framework called the “Pay Certainty” technique, which helps you determine whether
people are willing and able to pay for the service you can offer with those skills.
Introducing The "Pay Certainty" Framework
The problem with having so many ideas is you're just not sure which one will pay off. And nobody wants to spend 9 months pursuing a futile idea -- only to discover you've made $0.46 in Adsense money -- so we get stuck before we even start.
When you apply the "Pay Certainty" Framework, you can quickly "score" ideas to see if they have any real possibility of ever paying off -- BEFORE you ever spend any time developing them.
To hear how it works, click through to the rest of the post on the blog. Or, click here to get Ramit’s great e-book, “Finding Your First Profitable Idea” and other free resources.
A few weeks ago I was speaking at an event and two fans of our work shared their personal concern, and I could tell disappointment, due to a series of marketing emails that were sent in the run up to the launch of the Relationship Masters Academy. One lady said that Who’s Got Your Back had saved her life and she felt she had to come and see me in person to understand what was the truth – was the real Keith the one in the book or the one in the pushy emails?
That feedback came in the midst of a week of emails, blogs, and tweets echoing the same. I’ve been thinking about the situation ever since. First up, I need to say I’ve been listening. I am truly grateful for such vocal generosity in letting me know that I let you down. Exactly the behavior we all need to practice with those we care for. Thank you for caring.
So let’s talk about how a guy who believes in authenticity, candor, and generosity above all ends up sending out a bunch of crazy-Eddie "act now or else" give away-style emails to his fans and clients.
I think the details will just feel like excuses and are frankly not that important for the purposes of passing on what I’ve learned. But basically, we hired outside experts who have made a science of how to hit the numbers in email campaigns. And our team, new and under pressure to succeed right out of the box in the online consumer space, thought we could control and customize their techniques to avoid messaging that wasn’t in line with my identity. The campaign was a financial success and at the same time we utterly failed. And I am sorry.
As you guys were quick to realize, those emails were just not me. Ironically, even though I didn’t craft them myself, they had a voice and tone that was weirdly reminiscent of that kid I once was at Yale who, in unfamiliar territory, tried to fit in by working hard NOT to be himself. Thank God that back then, enough of me shined through for many to forgive my occasional lapses – maybe some even understood where they came from – and ultimately look to me as a friend and leader. Well, I'm hoping for the same again.
I’ve always said that marketing is really just another word for relationship-building at a distance. With e-mails it’s in a virtual environment, but it’s all about figuring out what people need and offering value (by giving generously), confidently treating people with the utmost of respect (by speaking authentically and candidly) so they will listen to the story you have to tell (sharing deeply and intimately), and finally, making clear promises and then keeping them (by being accountable).
Together with my team, we put together a list of things we learned in the last month, which anybody can benefit from. I’m also hoping you’ll contribute your own rules and insights in the comments section to benefit others.
-KF
Six Rules for Building Relationships Online -- And Off
1. Define your values clearly, both to yourself and to others. The older I get and more success I experience, the more I believe that we win when we authentically believe in what we are selling (products, ideas…) and represent ourselves in a way that makes us proud. That said, the tough thing is that you have to be self aware enough to know exactly what you care about, and then do your best to be true to that. This can be especially challenging when you’re growing and developing your business, but you can’t let others bend who you are. Commit to an ongoing process of self-evaluation.
Sitting in the Delta Sky Room of Los Angeles Airport, I had the great pleasure of interviewing social media relationship expert Chris Brogan—who was for once not in the airport himself but in his office in Northern Massachusetts – for, among other things, an RMA Masterclass that we called “Never Eat Alone Meets Social Media Mastermind.”
Chris gave ME great advice – “more @replies Keith!” – and gave listeners a ton of act-now info on how to rev up your LinkedIn profile, create door-opening currency online, and bring customers to you instead of having to go find them.
Click through to read part of Chris’ awesome LinkedIn advice:
innovation and creativity. Every day I see companies whose leaders want people to think outside the box, and most of them have come to rely on brainstorming as the way to do it.
