Friday’s Relationship Roundup

Posted on November 13th, 2009 by Sara Grace

Hi folks! It's Sara Grace, KF.com Managing Editor. As Keith mentioned, I'll be dropping in every Friday with all the week's news and commentary oriented toward improving your relationships. I look forward to "meeting" you all here (in the comments).

This week....

GOSSIP GIRLJohn Tierney talks about gossip in the office, and offers tips to cope with coworkers even cattier than those Gossip Girl chicks.

From Tom Peters, 9 Questions to See Whether You're Caring Enough: "Teddy Roosevelt said, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. So, how do you know you are caring enough?

HBP brings us, How to Ask for Help Without Looking Stupid: "I recently coached a young man in commercial real-estate who relayed a conversation he had with his boss about starting a new regional initiative for his firm's brokers. Several times he asked, "How should I do this?" or "How should I think about this?" I cringed every time."

A raging debate at AllFacebook: Are birthday wishes via Facebook insincere??

I'm interested in your opinion on this last one: If you use FB, does a long roster of birthday greetings make you happy, no matter how well you know the well-wishers? As for me, I'm happy any time someone takes a moment to reach out.

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9 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. I love it when I get lots of b-day wishes from acquaintances on FB. B-days bring out my inner child, and she wants tons of prezzies, cards, & the biggest party ever, even though the adult me wants a quiet dinner w/ a few close friends. With FB we can both be happy.

  2. Kate, that's so true - tweaks the giddy kid in me, too. :-)

    Now that I think about it, I need to be more liberal in who I birthday-greet on FB. I've been reserved, only doing it with people who I know really well. Why?! I admit myself I like to get them from anyone and everyone!

  3. Funny! We just discussed this topic at our weekly sales meeting on Monday. We were talking of how important it is to reach out to our costumers, friends, etc. and how Facebook is such a great tool to do so, specially to follow up since time is somehow limited. One guy commented how great he felt when he saw all the Happy Birthday messages posted in his profile.

    I think having a TON of messages posted in your wall makes you feel very important, who doesn't like to feel like the center of attention? So if you help someone feel good about themselves posting a candid message on Facebook it will be more than welcome. ;-)

  4. So true Susette. Thanks for commenting!

  5. Evelyn Vassiliadou says:
    November 14, 2009 at 12:37 am
    Reply

    Yeah, I'm a cynic, so it means nothing to me when people I don't care about wish me happy birthday. But keep in mind (aka the cynic ) that I don't see why people consider birthdays important, anyway. Also, that I try not to have people I don't consider real friends on fb, so by definition, I shouldn't have people I don't know well wishing me happy birthday.

  6. I really only use FB for friends and LinkedIn & Twitter for the rest. So I wish my FB connections HB because I really do mean it. Also, in general I don't think anything is inherently insincere or sincere only the person behind the gesture. Even if/when I'm a goof, it's sincere :)

  7. Kate's reply made me chuckle--so true! Sending a little packet of positive energy--how great is that? In posting I do sometimes hesitate if I don't know the person well but I never regret it when I do..

    I think the real question is --do you mind that some people (closer friends) use FB in lieu of calling, emailing or sending you a card/gift? (ha, now emailing looks good). I think "it's the thought that counts" applies and via FB I certainly get more congratulations than in the days of yore and I take everyone sincerely! People are busy and can't always be consistent or extend themselves--Facebook makes it easy.

    I remember senior year my high school boyfriend sitting in his driveway by the mailbox crying on his birthday because he didn't get any cards (yes he had some self esteem issues)!! He can be happy now with Facebook..his wall is always full :)

  8. i'm with you on the facebook / birthday issue, if people take the time to acknowledge you, then that should be enough, no need to be "stuck-up" about it!

  9. When I started using FB, I wished people Happy Birthday. Then I just stopped. I knew I'd be missing people, so why not skip all? I only wish it for special occasions, like people I know really well. I do hope everyone has a happy birthday, do I need to confirm that each year? Kidding.

    As far as enjoying the messages myself: For security reasons, I don't have my birthday visible on FB. For professional reasons, I don't allow people write on my wall. This year I only had two FB birthday wishes, via PM, because those people knew my birthday from "offline." Yeah, I sound like a killjoy, but it's not my thing.

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