Just about every social media networking guru is entreating us to start a conversation, to ask a question, to give - as the best and fastest ways to build large networks of loyal fans and customers. But unless the generosity comes from a sincere desire - and ability - to give freely of oneself, the gesture will likely be seen by the receiving party as self-serving and manipulative.

Keith, if you've discovered the secret sauce that can help even low EQ folks engage in a genuine spirit of giving, sign me up for your relationship academy! ;-)

My philosophy in life and in business is to always do more and to give more than what is expected.

Several years back, I was called by a husband of a client who told me he wanted to give his wife the gift of organization starting with her closets. He said his wife was struggling at home with 2 special needs children and she suffered from debilitating fatigue and other health issues.

When I arrived at her home and met her at the door; I could see how exhausted this poor mom was. Her 2 kids were obviously challenging her that day and I decided it would be far more helpful to her if I just sent her up to her room to sleep while I played with the kids in the playroom. The closets could wait. This was a mom in desperate need of far more than an organized linen closet!

She was so completely exhausted that she gratefully agreed and practically ran upstairs and closed her door. I guess I must not have looked too scary standing there with my organizing supplies trying to block the little boy from running past me out into the yard with his sister in hot pursuit.

As I spent time with the kids, I began to recognize symptoms that were very similar to my own children's....signs of severe food sensitivities; not behavioral problems ... and later, when I came back a 2nd and 3rd time, I presented my theory which I had taken several hours to back up with research, data and a comprehensive list of local resources for the family.

The mom had tried absolutely everything she could think of to help her children and shared with me that they had spent over $100,000 in medical testing, horse-back riding lessons, every sensory integration therapy and autistic spectrum program available and they had traveled across the country on more than one occasion to seek testing and treatment from a multitude of specialists and dozens and dozens of modalities.

She was crushed because nothing seemed to be working and her little boy was getting worse. They had talked of institutionalizing him because at times, her adorable little 7 year old could be quite violent toward his sister and toward friends and even toward his Mom. Her little girl had other 'attention' related issues, but the little boy was clearly 'out of control.' He had hit his mom in the face on more than one occasion and had even broken her nose.

It turned out, I was right. She had her son tested for food sensitivites; got homeopathic treatment for him from the same specialist I had taken our son to and in less than 3 months; the little boy that was headed to an institution was happily enrolled in a private Christian school. I have remained friends with the Mom now for nearly three years and she tells me time and time again how grateful she is that "someone took the time to care."

I know I will have a friend for life and that means far more than an organizing job. :) Not sure who said it or exactly how it goes -
something like this:

"People might forget what you SAID; they might even forget what you DID; but they will not forget how you MADE THEM FEEL." I tell everyone I hire that I will not fire them EVER for not doing a job if, when they arrive at a client's home or office; they find something far more important they they feel qualified to assist with!

My son has high functioning autism. My wife and I have been blessed with the services he is receiving. However, it did not come easy. My wife used to be a teacher and she understands all the "education' talk that goes on in an IEP(Individualized Education Plan) meeting. So we had to challenge the school system to make sure our son gets what he needs to eventually become "mainstreamed". Through our challenges and my wife's tireless research and hardwork, we have a stronger understanding of the rights of the special needs child and the family, as it relates to education and community services. As an Execuitve Recruiter, I have conversations with my clients very frequently. On several occassions, I talked to them about our experience and they have shared with me about their child with special needs and their struggle. As a result, I was able to share insights about what is possible for their child. Also, our experience, struggle and pain has turned into a gift for others who are facing the same challenges.

Sincerely,

Jung Cha
President
Jordan Carlisle Human Capital Solutions

My most recent employer wanted to promote a special event, but didn't have money to advertise. The other businesses in our complex wanted to take part as well. A good friend had started a charity to provide suitable school clothing for low income kids. By turning our event in to a fund raiser for her, we got radio, television and newspaper coverage. We also introducing many others to both by putting the event on local calendars and such. In so doing I lost a job, but gained several good friends.

Because my sons are in the military, and I have experience with Family Support Groups (FRG's), many of my customers will share their concerns over deployed family members. It is easy to refer them to resources, of which too many aren't aware (soldiers are terrible at sharing information with their families). Since I call on just about every business in our community, most will give special discounts, and gifts, to the FRG's or individual families. I just see to it they get proper notice for their kindness. Everyone wins, and I get to make friends with some of the most amazing people in the world.

I'm not unique, or even different. Most of your listers are doing the same sort of things for their customers, employees and friends. I think it becomes so second nature, most don't realize they are doing anything special. Having been the recipient of great kindnesses, after a recent fire, I know.

I have always helped out many people in my life whether it be for a friend or a potential client. My friends tell people "Everyone wants a Steve". They are the ones who titled my Myspace profile. Every company I have worked for has benefited from my generosity in way or another. I never considered myself "special". It is just how I am and always have been. I was not raised this way for the most part. I saw it in my grandparents. My grandmother alway believed in helping out the less fortunate. She would feed the hungry on her doorstep. My grandfather was a self-made businessman. He didn't go to school and get a degree. He was a 2nd grade drop-out because of his father. He worked his entire life. He made money and lost it. They both died poor but happy. I am trying to live my life by their standards. I seek no rewards but hopefully gain friendships along the road to success.