Building Better Business Relationships Today

Posted on February 18th, 2010 by Keith Ferrazzi

We're all looking for an edge to create loyal customers, clients, and fans. So let me put some currency in your pocket.

Build better business relationships using this mantra:
Find a Way to Help, Find a Way to Care.

People always ask me “but how?” The quick and dirty answer is, "Ask them!" But to provide some structure and help get you thinking proactively, I’ve broken relationship currency – that is, forms of generosity that you can use in building business relationships – into three categories, what I call the Generosity Pyramid.

1.   Universal currency: This refers to our innate human ability to connect to others. We can all embrace intimacy with another human being by listening, empathizing and caring. We can all become the colleague who blocks off that extra time to fetch a cup of coffee or who connects more deeply with a client, customer, employee or peer. Sensitivity, charm, the ability to crack a good joke — we’ve all got universal currency to develop and share. Universal currency also includes encouragement.

2.    Professional Currency: First, this is knowledge of your product and your ability to connect your product and benefits to issues the client deals with. But it is important to understand that any product or service you offer is only one piece of the broader, full-service solution for your target’s business.  So the other aspect of professional currency is providing useful assistance to help a person’s career.

3.    Personal Currency:  This is the pinnacle of the pyramid - the most powerful form of currency. To discover your personal currency, don’t look inside — that’s too hard for many people. Instead, look outward. Personal currency requires discovering what others need to be happy, then figuring out what you can do to get them there. It could be your professional expertise, your problem-solving ability, your network of relationships, your black belt in judo or simply your unfaltering optimism. The secret to optimizing personal currency is to establish a close enough relationship with others so that they’re willing to share their deepest-felt dreams and aspirations with you, along with the issues that are holding them back.

Developing currency is one of the skills we’ll be teaching in my online Relationship Masters Academy, coming this Spring! Want to get on the list for information and free resources? Sign up here.

Can you think of a time when, in a professional context, you've helped someone with a deeply personal goal or challenge? Please share!

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16 comments // In Relationship Development Skills
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16 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. Especially after reading Never Eat Along, I've really enjoyed opportunities to give freely in a professional context - never regretted! I've found that people in transition, especially after a painful layoff, can really benefit from the large network I've been building. While time is limited, during a brief lunch or phone discussion, I can suggest three or four companies that might fit their interests and then, if they wish, take simple steps to introduce them with an email, phone call, or LinkedIn message, as well as offer some feedback on their resume. People are so used to being ignored and brushed off, that a few minutes of attention and sharing some professional currency can make your relationship with them much stronger. Down the road, they may be the ones you are turning to for help. Cast your bread freely upon the waters. Thanks, Keith, for reminding us of such valuable and lasting principles!

  2. Oops - that should be Never Eat Alone. Not sure what "Never Eat Along" would be about - don't wish to find out.

  3. SO true and thanks for the distinctions...

    I used the possibility of being generous when I was making calls related to job seeking. I was clear that no matter what happened (or didn't) from a call -- the person I called was going to hang up the telephone being glad that I had called because they got as much -- or more -- than I did.

    It transformed the process and reminded me that no matter what our circumstances -- we always have something to give.

  4. I love how currency is being redefined into more than just cash. Tim Ferris also talks about your "other currencies". Brilliant as usual Keith!

    Too often people are left thinking they are worthless when broke. Everyone has currency :)

    Thanks!

  5. Joelle Cooper says:
    February 18, 2010 at 6:42 am
    Reply

    I work in Human Resources, and an employee in my client group once came to me with an employee relations issue with which his wife was dealing. Now, his wife didn't work for us and I didn't know her. I was flattered that he trusted me enough to not only share the situation, but to seek guidance. Taking a few minutes to talk about something that was on his mind, and that I could help with, went a long way to strengthening our working relationship.

    Jeff Lindsay is so right that people are used to being brushed off, especially when the topic is not related to an immediate business need or objective.

    It helps to remember that when we are approached with a request, be it for networking or otherwise, that person is placing their trust in us. What we do with that trust is what creates our legacy.

    • "legacy" - exactly. you don't create a legacy by sticking to business as usual. what's that Steve Jobs quote? "We're here to put a dent in the universe."

      • If we can think of our legacy as what is left behind - whether it is when we leave a room or this life - that others still see, value, and tie (in some way) back to us we will quickly realize that it has nothing to do with stuff and everything to do with relationships! :) Thanks Keith for your continued reminder of this truth!

  6. Keith,

    I have always helped out many people in my life whether it be for a friend or a potential client. My friends tell people "Everyone wants a Steve". They are the ones who titled my Myspace profile. Every company I have worked for has benefited from my generosity in way or another. I never considered myself "special". It is just how I am and always have been. I was not raised this way for the most part. I saw it in my grandparents. My grandmother alway believed in helping out the less fortunate. She would feed the hungry on her doorstep. My grandfather was a self-made businessman. He didn't go to school and get a degree. He was a 2nd grade drop-out because of his father. He worked his entire life. He made money and lost it. They both died poor but happy. I am trying to live my life by their standards. I seek no rewards but hopefully gain friendships along the road to success.

  7. Mark H. Hendricks says:
    February 18, 2010 at 9:45 am
    Reply

    Because companies hire me to set up or repair their sales efforts, many of our clients will share similar struggles. One window manufacturer wasn't aware of how he could get free publicity, begin priavate labeling, or reach more contractors without having to employ a large sales force. A local inventor and health guru was in a similar situation, with a simple and amazing diet tool. This sort of thing happens often, and I have to be careful not to become an unpaid consultant, getting nothing in return.

    My most recent employer wanted to promote a special event, but didn't have money to advertise. The other businesses in our complex wanted to take part as well. A good friend had started a charity to provide suitable school clothing for low income kids. By turning our event in to a fund raiser for her, we got radio, television and newspaper coverage. We also introducing many others to both by putting the event on local calendars and such. In so doing I lost a job, but gained several good friends.

    Because my sons are in the military, and I have experience with Family Support Groups (FRG's), many of my customers will share their concerns over deployed family members. It is easy to refer them to resources, of which too many aren't aware (soldiers are terrible at sharing information with their families). Since I call on just about every business in our community, most will give special discounts, and gifts, to the FRG's or individual families. I just see to it they get proper notice for their kindness. Everyone wins, and I get to make friends with some of the most amazing people in the world.

    I'm not unique, or even different. Most of your listers are doing the same sort of things for their customers, employees and friends. I think it becomes so second nature, most don't realize they are doing anything special. Having been the recipient of great kindnesses, after a recent fire, I know.

  8. Hi Keith,

    My son has high functioning autism. My wife and I have been blessed with the services he is receiving. However, it did not come easy. My wife used to be a teacher and she understands all the "education' talk that goes on in an IEP(Individualized Education Plan) meeting. So we had to challenge the school system to make sure our son gets what he needs to eventually become "mainstreamed". Through our challenges and my wife's tireless research and hardwork, we have a stronger understanding of the rights of the special needs child and the family, as it relates to education and community services. As an Execuitve Recruiter, I have conversations with my clients very frequently. On several occassions, I talked to them about our experience and they have shared with me about their child with special needs and their struggle. As a result, I was able to share insights about what is possible for their child. Also, our experience, struggle and pain has turned into a gift for others who are facing the same challenges.

    Sincerely,

    Jung Cha
    President
    Jordan Carlisle Human Capital Solutions

  9. First of all, Keith, I love your website/blog and 'give to get' marketing philosophy. Yours is my favorite business 'pick-me-up' and I read a lot of them.

    My philosophy in life and in business is to always do more and to give more than what is expected.

    Several years back, I was called by a husband of a client who told me he wanted to give his wife the gift of organization starting with her closets. He said his wife was struggling at home with 2 special needs children and she suffered from debilitating fatigue and other health issues.

    When I arrived at her home and met her at the door; I could see how exhausted this poor mom was. Her 2 kids were obviously challenging her that day and I decided it would be far more helpful to her if I just sent her up to her room to sleep while I played with the kids in the playroom. The closets could wait. This was a mom in desperate need of far more than an organized linen closet!

    She was so completely exhausted that she gratefully agreed and practically ran upstairs and closed her door. I guess I must not have looked too scary standing there with my organizing supplies trying to block the little boy from running past me out into the yard with his sister in hot pursuit.

    As I spent time with the kids, I began to recognize symptoms that were very similar to my own children's....signs of severe food sensitivities; not behavioral problems ... and later, when I came back a 2nd and 3rd time, I presented my theory which I had taken several hours to back up with research, data and a comprehensive list of local resources for the family.

    The mom had tried absolutely everything she could think of to help her children and shared with me that they had spent over $100,000 in medical testing, horse-back riding lessons, every sensory integration therapy and autistic spectrum program available and they had traveled across the country on more than one occasion to seek testing and treatment from a multitude of specialists and dozens and dozens of modalities.

    She was crushed because nothing seemed to be working and her little boy was getting worse. They had talked of institutionalizing him because at times, her adorable little 7 year old could be quite violent toward his sister and toward friends and even toward his Mom. Her little girl had other 'attention' related issues, but the little boy was clearly 'out of control.' He had hit his mom in the face on more than one occasion and had even broken her nose.

    It turned out, I was right. She had her son tested for food sensitivites; got homeopathic treatment for him from the same specialist I had taken our son to and in less than 3 months; the little boy that was headed to an institution was happily enrolled in a private Christian school. I have remained friends with the Mom now for nearly three years and she tells me time and time again how grateful she is that "someone took the time to care."

    I know I will have a friend for life and that means far more than an organizing job. :) Not sure who said it or exactly how it goes -
    something like this:

    "People might forget what you SAID; they might even forget what you DID; but they will not forget how you MADE THEM FEEL." I tell everyone I hire that I will not fire them EVER for not doing a job if, when they arrive at a client's home or office; they find something far more important they they feel qualified to assist with!

  10. I have decided to create business networking groups that allow for a free flowing of advice. We start with the regular mingling and business card exchange, the second activity is an educational presentation for the benefit of the group, (includes an informercial, not a commercial) Next the host company, (these events are held at different companies allowing them to highlight their facility/products or services) make a presentation explaining their company and also sharing their goals or difficulties. At this point we go around the room allowing everyone an opportunity to share their thoughts on how the company can achieve their goals. What happens is that everyone wins. The host company gets creative ideas, the participants get an opportunity to state how they can help in a real life situation and we all learn from the presenter. I participate just like everyone else. My help is by creating these events for others to benefit. If we can help companies grow, then certainly someones life will be effected in a positive manner. I may never know how that is, but does it matter? If all goes well multiple parties will benefit in a meaningful manner. Maybe that is compound interest on my currency deposit.

  11. I couldn't agree more. However, authenticity is absolutely key.

    Just about every social media networking guru is entreating us to start a conversation, to ask a question, to give - as the best and fastest ways to build large networks of loyal fans and customers. But unless the generosity comes from a sincere desire - and ability - to give freely of oneself, the gesture will likely be seen by the receiving party as self-serving and manipulative.

    Keith, if you've discovered the secret sauce that can help even low EQ folks engage in a genuine spirit of giving, sign me up for your relationship academy! ;-)

  12. Easily, this article is the greatest on this laudable topic. I concur with your conclusions and anxiously look forward to your next updates. Saying thank you will not be enough, for the extraordinary clarity in your writing. I'll immediately grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates. Good work and much success in your business dealings!

  13. Really good posting and seriously can assist with comprehending the issue much better.

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