How to Win Friends and Influence People by Practicing Social Arbitrage

Posted on August 27th, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

Friendship makes prosperity brighter. - Cicero

Real power comes from being indispensable. Indispensability comes from being a switchboard, parceling out as much information, contacts, and goodwill to as many people—in as many different worlds—as possible.

Engaging in this constant and open exchange of favors and intelligence is what I call social arbitrage. Think of well-executed social arbitrage as a sort of career karma. How much you give to the people you come into contact with determines how much you’ll receive in return. In other words, if you want to make friends and get things done, you have to put yourself out to do things for other people—things that require time, energy, and consideration.

Here’s a few rules to become a master:

  1. Think of social arbitrage as a game. When someone mentions a problem, try to think of solutions. The solutions come from my experience and knowledge, and my tool kit of friends and associates. Think: How can my network help? It’s a sort of ongoing puzzle, matching up the right people and the right opportunities.
  2. Just do it. Don’t wait to be asked. People aren't used to looking for others for help, beyond a small circle, and usually either won't think of it or will be too polite to ask.
  3. Don't limit yourself to one clique. Make a point of knowing as many people from as many different professions and social groups as possible. The ability to bridge different worlds, and even different people within the same profession, is a key attribute in managers who are paid better and promoted faster.
  4. Become a knowledge broker. Knowledge is free—it can be found in books, in articles, on the Internet, pretty much everywhere, and it’s precious to everyone. Expertise will not only allow you to grow your connections, it helps you solve problems in situations where there’s a gap in your network.
  5. Carpe Diem. When you see a way that someone else in your network can help a friend, don’t wait. Pick up the phone mid-conversation to make the introduction – “I’m here with my friend so-and-so and they need x and may call you, if it’s alright” – then give your friend the information so they can follow up as they choose. Not only have you made it completely comfortable for them to reach out, you’ve also pinged someone else in your network – double score.

Successfully connecting with others is never about simply getting what you want. It’s about getting what you want and making sure that people who are important to you get what they want first - and having fun while doing it.

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6 comments // In Relationship Development Skills
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6 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. great advice. love the first line. more of this please

  2. Wow! I do this, but sometimes I hesitate thinking that it is overstepping. Thanks for letting me that it totally OK to help people and introduce the right people to each other.

  3. Justin Peterson says:
    September 2, 2009 at 4:59 am
    Reply

    I totally agree with the idea that helping others is helping yourself. It seems to many people are still holding on to the "what's in it for me?" mind set. The problem with such short sighted thinking is that you limmit yourself to only acting when you know what the immedieate return to you is. If you have the mind set of "what can I do to help you?" Trust me there is always something in it for you, even if you dont see it right away. Work to help others and others will always be helping you.

  4. Excellent items from you, man. I have keep in mind your stuff prior to and you are simply too magnificent. I really like what you've got here, really like what you are saying and the way in which during which you say it. You're making it entertaining and you continue to care for to keep it sensible. I can not wait to read far more from you. This is actually a terrific site.

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