How to Surpass 95% of your Competition with One Simple Gesture

Posted on September 1st, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

“The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling.” - Lucretius

Do you want to stand out from the crowd? Then follow up.

The fact is, most people don’t follow up very well, if at all. Good follow-up alone elevates you above 95 percent of your peers. The follow-up is the hammer and nails of your networking tool kit. In fact, FOLLOW-UP IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS IN ANY FIELD.

Making sure a new acquaintance retains your name (and the favorable impression you’ve created) is a process you should set in motion right after you’ve met someone.

Why go to all the trouble of meeting new people if you’re not going to work on making them a part of your life? Give yourself between twelve and twenty-four hours after you meet someone to follow up. If you meet somebody on a plane, send them an e-mail later that day. If you meet somebody over cocktails, send them an e-mail the next morning.

Some tips for flawless follow-up:

  1. Put the name and e-mail address of a new acquaintance in your database and program your calendar to remind you in a month’s time to drop the person another e-mail, just to keep in touch.
  2. Remember—and this is critical—your follow up shouldn’t remind them of what they can do for you. It’s about what you might be able to do for them. It’s about giving them a reason to want to follow up.
  3. Always express your gratitude.
  4. Be sure to include an item of interest from your meeting or conversation—a joke or a shared moment of humor.
  5. Reaffirm whatever commitments you both made—going both ways.
  6. Be brief and to the point.
  7. Always address the thank-you note to the person by name.
  8. Use e-mail and snail mail. The combination adds a personalized touch.
  9. Timeliness is key. Send them as soon as possible after the meeting or interview.
  10. Many people wait until the holidays to say thank you or reach out. Why wait? Your follow-ups will be timelier, more appropriate, and certainly better remembered.
  11. Don’t forget to follow up with those who have acted as the go between for you and someone else. Let the original referrer know how the conversation went, and express your appreciation for their help.

Make follow-up a habit. Make it automatic. When you do, the days of struggling to remember people’s names—and of other people struggling to remember yours—will be a thing of the past.

UPDATE: Jason Alba over at JibberJobber posted a video on how to use the JJ to carry about my follow up strategy! Check it out. I encourage people from Networking Hippo and the other sites mentioned to do the same.

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46 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. Is there any website or services where I can maintain my contacts and note when I spoke to them last and it will remind me at a preconfigured periods (say every 30 days) that its time to follow up again?

  2. I have been waiting for this post for some time now. I needed motivation and advice for the follow up. However, I still have some difficulties figuring out what to write a month after I've talked to a person. I postpone it because I don't have anything of value to add (at, least I think so). Any suggestions?

  3. Uggh, it always comes back to systems and self-discipline doesn't it? Great tips Keith, every time I make a point to get better at follow-up, I am quickly rewarded. You'd think I would do it all the time, wouldn't you now? But then again every time I diet and exercise that works too. Humans, a species that knows what to do, but doesn't consistently use their own knowledge.

  4. Hey Souvik,

    I just discovered this great tool the other day http://networkinghippo.com . It's almost like the concept was founded on the idea in Never Eat Alone :-)

  6. Excellent post! Thanks a lot Keith. I always get a ton of great advice out of your post (not mentioning your books). Also it's a good way to keep all the good knowledge from "Never eat alone" in mind.

    I have one question: What tools do you use to create lists/databases of people you meet. What tool enables you to select persons by region, profession or another filter that is relevant? And what tool remind you of follow-up messages etc.? Just Outlook or the reminder of your phone?

    Thanks for any help!

  7. Souvik,

    I just use Outlook. Every client has a version of the MacKay66 in their Outlook file, a list of the communications between me and them, and a "red flag" programmed for the next time I should contact them. The top line of the "comments" always says what I need to discuss with each client next time.

    Every day, I get a list of people who need to be contacted today automatically by Outlook "Reminders." I just pick up the phone and work my way down the list.

    Mike

  8. Thank you Keith for these great tips. I love following up with the bands that I interview or review and supplying them with my thoughts as well as keeping in touch on a regular basis. I find that using snail mail helps me to stand out- even writing a short, hand written letter that pays attention to what I know about them and what we've discussed makes quite an impression. Like you've said, it's more about what value you can provide to them rather than thinking about your own interests. Keep up the great work with all of your books, your insight is outstanding.

  9. Simple yet great advice. It's shocking how quickly 30, 60, 90 days...(even years) go by where we don't follow-up with our contacts. Just a simple note is all it takes..."Hey Pete, You came to mind today. I trust that all is well with you. That steak dinner we had was amazing. Hope to see you soon - Rob". I use the calendar functionality in Outlook and Gmail to remind me to follow-up. It works perfectly.

  10. For a more sales-oriented online follow-up system, try Big Contacts. http://www.bigcontacts.com/

  11. LinkedIn provides an useful Outlook-AddIn for the follow up.

    Next to the senders name appears a small LinkedIn logo, after installing it. By hovering over the logo you will see a link called "keep-in-touch" where you can easily set reminders to keep in touch with that contact.

  12. Keith,

    You've nailed another differentiating factor. You're much like Carnegie, everything you say does make sense, yet it's easy to ignore and miss the large payouts.

    Best,
    Alex

  13. Line item 7, the Thank You note, is extremely time sensitive. The Thank You note when made personal has proven to be one of the most effective follow-up methods.

  14. Very solid advice and like the importance of "finishing" a golf swing, "follow-through" with thoughful follow up is essential. it is the key in building solid personal relationships. Additionally, you begin to anchor in the contacts mind to be memorable and remembered.
    I have found a useful tool - free too - that goes beyond follow-up to be far more complete in managing career-long relationships. Checkout http://jibberjobber.com

  15. Thanks for the great tips Keith! I already incorporate many of the items you listed but there are some that I will add to my follow up system.

    I use an online system to create a physical greeting card addressed to the people that I meet with a reminder of who I am and what I can offer to them. If I know of specific needs, I will address those in the card as well. One powerful technique that I use with certain people is to take a photo with the person and then use that as the front cover of the card. The system I use will print the card, address it, apply 1st class postage stamps, and mail it out for me. I never have to leave my computer except to meet new people! The system I use can be found at:
    http://www.businessreferralsystems.com

    The system will also keep track of their contact info, any notes you make, and key dates. With some creativity, you can set up basically a physical autoresponder service to keep in touch with them.
    Feel free to contact me if you have questions or comments about the system.

    Thanks again!

    Nick
    @NickTako

  16. These are great gems Keith. Thx...

  17. Keith, You're fast becoming one of my go-to guides for better entrepreneuring--and that means I'm telling others.

    ; ^ )J

  18. Keith,

    You never cease to amaze me. I actuually wrote this blog post recently called "How to get Free drinks and get treated like a VIP everywhere you go" and it's amazing that I subconsciously use so many of the things you mention in your work.

  19. Love these comments! Thanks all!! You're making my day!

    Great tools recommendations - I want to have my team take a look at a couple so that KF.com can make some best practice recommendations. So if any one wants to make an in-depth review here of what they use, please do! As for me, I'm a special case at this point. My assistant helps me keep all my ERM lists (ERM is Executive Relationship Management; that's the top 250 list that I've written about here before) current. And I travel so much that whenever I'm in the city, I use that time to focus on pinging/meeting that region of the list. So my system is part process, part organic based on travel.

    I'm also using Twitter (twitter.com/keithferrazzi) now to create impromptu meet ups. It's great for that - of course you do have to remember that since twitter's public, anyone and everyone could show. That's part of the fun...

  20. Keith, you are the best. Thanks especially for #11. I thanked the go-between, but forgot to follow up with his boss (the big guy).

  21. Glenn Mattsson says:
    September 1, 2009 at 10:16 am
    Reply

    Keith, thanks for an unbelievably timely piece. I'm going to an important networking event tonight and this serves as a great reminder to me as to how to start cultivating new (& existing) relationships.

    As far as tools, I've used both Outlook and Jibberjobber, but am now relatively new to ACT! and see it as the best tool yet for keeping track of relationships. I'm still on the steep part of the learning curve, but it's unbelievable what the possibilities are.

    Thanks!
    Glenn

  22. Hi Keith,

    I enjoyed your presentation in Vegas last month and you are so very right in your comments! The fortune truly is in the follow up! Successful networkers learn the skills needed and are simply those who prospect, present and followup MORE than unsuccessful networkers!

    To your continued success!

    Sue

  23. Hey everyone - Great points Keith!

    I also do the same things for when I travel and want to invite Fellow Greenlight Community members and friends out for events. If you are heading on a trip you can use Facebook and LinkedIn to create an event - even just a gathering for cocktails - and use the location filters to quickly find out who you are connected with in that city or area. Then you can invite the people you know to meet up and introduce them to eachother. TripIt is a tool that plugs into your LinkedIn profile and allows you to see where your connections are going to be traveling, if they are coming to your city, or if you are both going to be in the same area at the same time. Great for those of us who travel alot.

    If you really want to manage a lot of contacts tools like Salesforce are great. You can create different catagories and share information that adds value to your network based on what they might be interested in. Also, you can set reminders if you neglect any of your contacts. (There are costs involved, but I could never go back to managing my contacts without it.)

    Hope this helps!

    Kent

  24. Hi - Can I add my one big gripe on here with regard to failure to follow up? It's with regard to RSVPs. I never understood how someone can RSVP to attend an event and then not show up. Isn't that saying you'll do one thing and then not doing it? It's the ultimate "non-follow-up."

    It's OK to cancel, but send a notice or something to the event planner along with an apology (in advance if possible; if not certainly within 24 hours after).

  25. I think follow up works best when it's helpful, genuine, sincere... My philosophy is that of: Solve. Don't sell.

    If and when I take that approach, things just have a way of working themselves out.

  26. A couple tools I use to carry out this kind of followup:

    Oprius.com is a great way to organize your contacts and create a follow-up matrix. It will remind you when to send an email, make a call, send a card, etc. Very powerful but easy to use! This is my contact manager, follow-up program, and list-mailer!

    SendOutCards.com is what I use for physical mail follow-up. Have been using it for 2.5 years and have had great success. It is a network marketed product, but you can just use the tool if you like. It's the tool that got me! I have never seen anything like it.

    Everett

  27. Keith,

    Thanks again for this wonderful post. I agree with everything that you wrote; follow-up is key, especially when one is in the process of conducting a job search which is what I am currently doing.

    However, in doing so I have two things that I struggle with, and wanted to see if you can offer some pearls of wisdom? I am more than willing to help others out as I know it's better to give than receive; however, I have NO idea of how I could help my contacts out. Today people want you to get to the point, give you what's needed, and send you away.

    1.) Any tips on how to give back as well as obtain the information you need & about them in a brief 10-15 conversation?

    2.) How do you take a phone conversation to an in-person meeting, during your initial introductory conversation? As an in-person meeting allows you to make a stronger connection, and gives the other person more of a reason to want to help you out as opposed to just speaking with them on the phone.

    I would be more than willing to help you out, should you ever need anything as I appreciate all the advice, tips, and pearls of wisdom that continously dispense.

    Thank You,
    Dana

  28. When my step-daughter started her first job, I told her that now days just showing up puts her ahead of 50% of her competition....now that she has started college, I guess I will have to follow that up with (get it follow up), "following up will you put 95% ahead of your peers"...good post, it is amazing that with all the advances in technology, good ol personal and social skills can still be a great advantage!

  29. This article is great!!!!!

    Thanks for writing it. : )

  30. This is gold.

  31. #5 is the heart of it all in the 'follow up' science, I suppose. Your messages of gratitude might not mean anything to a busy man whom you're giving extra work by having to jug his memory to recall what your business with him was in the first place.

  32. Terrific advice on establishing and maintaining relationships, but it also makes work flow better. If everyone makes effort to follow up, projects will run smoother. No more passing the buck, pointing fingers, and thinking someone else had it covered. Great job!

  33. Excellent advice overall! I agree that point 2 is critical.

    Personally, I'll put in a vote of disagreement with the suggestion to use both email and snail mail. I don't remotely find physical mail more "personal" or in any way better than email. I can't think of any followup I'd be happier to receive as physical mail than as email.

    (The worst, something I don't recommend ever, is a physical letter that doesn't include an email address the person can use to respond. If you're asking me to call you or mail you a physical letter, your chances of a response are next to zero.)

  34. That is an excellent post. Great tips and advice. Thanks.

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