Four Rules to Rise to the Top of Anyone’s Mental Rolodex

Posted on September 2nd, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

The true art of memory is the art of attention. - Samuel Johnson

These days we’re overwhelmed with information. So when you’re trying to create a new relationship, what does it take to break through the white noise of information overload?

Becoming front and center in someone’s mental Rolodex is contingent on one invaluable little concept: repetition. Here are four rules of thumb to engage your personal VIPs and then keep them interested.

  1. People you’re contacting to create a new relationship need to see or hear your name in at least three modes of communication—by, say, an e-mail, a phone call, and a face-to-face encounter—before there is substantive recognition.
  2. Once you have gained some early recognition, you need to nurture a developing relationship with a phone call or e-mail at least once a month.
  3. If you want to transform a contact into a friend, you need a minimum of two face-to-face meetings out of the office.
  4. Maintaining a secondary relationship requires two to three pings a year.

Using the above rules should give you an idea of what it’ll take to keep your own network humming. I make dozens of phone calls a day. Most of them are simply quick hellos that I leave on a friend’s voice mail. I also send e-mail constantly. When it comes to relationship maintenance, I'm on my game 24/7, 365 days a year.

There’s no doubt you have to bring a certain vigor to this part of the system. But hey, this is just my way of doing things. You’ll figure out your own way. The governing principle here is repetition; get organized and find a way to ensure that you’ll contact people regularly without putting too much strain on your schedule.

Planes, trains and automobiles work for me, but that’s because I travel constantly. What’s your best time for dedicated pinging?

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11 comments // In Relationship Development Skills
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11 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. Wow, thanks for linking to my post about productivity. Kind of ironic to find it here because I have to be the world's worst networker! At this stage of life, with soon-to-be 4 little ones, I can choose to network or produce good content. I'm striving for the content and hoping the networking comes later...

    You offer some really great insight here, though, especially about needing to connect with people in at least 3 different mediums.

    Thanks!

  2. Great insight to fostering both personal and professional relationships. Makes a lot of sense and not as much heavy effort as one would assume prior to reading this post.

    I was wondering about number "4." Can you elaborate on "secondary relationships"? Are they personal, professional or both?

    Good stuff.

  3. very intersting article, Keith. thanks a lot for sharing your recommendations. It's the first time I read framework for networking development. Brilliant!
    Cheers,
    @RolandoPeralta

  4. you know, Keith, that this principles applies perfect to Community Management (when we are part of it). It's because when we get in a community, we have to start making connections in order to find real value for being in the group.
    The best pinging time comes (IMHO) in birthdays, special carreer days, and monthly/bimonthly if possible.

  5. Early a.m. (via email and voicemail). If I send an email in the early a.m., that puts me at the top of the inbox which often ensures a quicker response :-) Same goes for voicemail. The day's just getting started and if they're up, they're happy to answer.

    I usually check in on people via their status updates on Facebook (there's usually a conversation starter to be found in there somewhere). That and I check in on my contacts on LinkedIn just about every other day. I have over 500+ connections. I'm happy to say that I've met most of those connections in person but I also know that it's still important for me to follow up with them so I do so weekly.

  6. I like this post a lot. In the Whuffie Factor Tara Hunt describes different relationships with people based on bonding and bridging where there are some people who you want to build "bonds" with (contact once a month) and people you want to build "bridges" with - who you want to stay in contact with and can find new relationships through.

    We use Network Hippo (http://www.networkhippo.com) to manage these relationships - they remind us to stay in contact with people based on how well we know them and how important they are.

    Thanks!

  7. @Scott good question. By secondary I mean those relationships you need to keep in contact with a few times a year, just to stay on their radar - elsewhere you might have seen me call these "C" priorities.

    @Mandi You just described every writer's dilemma. I encourage everyone to spend some time each day on maintaining relationships. don't think of it as "networking" and it will sound more fun and important!

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