Five Steps to a Holiday Dinner that Will Put YOU on the Map

Posted on December 8th, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

SPECIAL NOTE: If you didn't catch Thursday's post about the wingman who saved Waldo Waldman's butt in combat in the blue skies over Yugoslavia, check it out! Now THAT's trust.

holiday-party-guideThrowing a holiday party can transform your experience of the season. It’s hard to be a Scrooge while creating an evening to remember – and then enjoying it with happy, heart-warmed guests.

Nervous about your hosting skills? Relief is here: Check out our new FREE Holiday Party Guide. Advice, tactical cues, cost-cutters, as well as instant motivation to create events that truly capture the incredible relationship-building opportunity of the season. With a little planning, you can invite casual acquaintances into your home and have them leave poised to become trusting friends and allies in 2010.

To get warmed up, here’s five of the Nine Steps to a Holiday Dinner that Will Put You on the Map – you’ll find the rest in the free guide.

1. Create a theme.
There’s no reason that even a small holiday dinner party shouldn’t have a theme. One simple idea can help you pull the food and atmosphere together. You can build a party around anything, really. It could be your mother’s meatloaf recipe, black tie (used rarely, as we want people to be totally comfortable), vegan food, specific music—whatever you like. People will get jazzed when they know you’re being creative.

Yes, “holiday party” can be a theme of its own, and often is. But why not get more specific  so that your event and invite are the most unique and intriguing of the season?  

2. Make the list manageable.
For a dinner party, shoot for 6-10 guests – which means inviting more like 8-12 because generally a good third have scheduling conflicts. If people can’t make it for dinner, encourage them to stop by before or after for drinks or dessert. “Bonus guests” who show up as the meal closes is a terrific way to keep the energy of the evening going.

3. Mix the old with the new.
Don’t invite more than one or two people you don’t know that well. By dinner’s end, you want those people leaving your home feeling as if they’ve made a whole new set of friends, and that’s hard to do if it’s a dinner filled with strangers.

4. Don’t be a kitchen slave.
There’s no sense in a party being all work. If you can’t hire a caterer, either cook all the food ahead of time or just use takeout. If the food is good and the presentation snazzy, your guests will be impressed. The key to low-budget dinner parties is to keep it simple. Make one large dish, like a stew or chili that can be prepared a day or two ahead of time. Serve it with great bread and salad. That’s all you need.

5. Don’t seat couples together.
The essence of a good dinner party lies in seating everyone properly. If you seat couples together, things can get boring. Mix and match, putting people together who don’t know each other but perhaps share an interest of some kind. I like to set placeholders where I want people to sit. Each placeholder is a simple card with the guest’s name on it. If you have the put an interesting question or joke on the back of the card that guests can use to break the ice with one another. Or you can go out and buy funny greeting cards just to make things interesting.

Tell me about your experience with holiday parties. I’m especially interested in hearing about trouble spots: help someone else avoid the same problem!

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8 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. An easy idea for small party gifts for your guests (6-8) is to make a Christmas CD. You can personalize your top 15+ Holiday songs and send each guest off remembering you not only for the night but everytime they fire up thier music during the season! Only takes a small amount of effort to have a lsting memory.

  2. Great list, but one word of caution about the tip to not seat couples together. Know your guests! If one spouse is insecure, be careful about sitting their partner next to the best-looking person at the party. And yes, that's a tip learned the hard way.

  3. I'd love to hear tips for hosting such gatherings when you don't have a home in which you can hold dinner parties in (i.e. a tiny NYC apartment). How can you best achieve the same warm results while holding such events at a public location (like a bar)? It seems as though you lose the ability to coordinate aspects of the event (such as seating, final guest list, etc.) when you are not having the event in your home.

  4. Christmas CD is a great idea, especially if they are songs in the public domain and you've gotten permission from the recording artists, etc. "Hey, remember that Christmas where we avoided RIAA lawsuits!"

  5. When we host a party there are always 'groups' of people: my work, his work, neighbors, and old friends. When the sub-groups have caught up and are settled in for a good time is when we mix it up. As host or hostess we invite 2-3 people at a time to meet and introduce to another group but always providing them with a common theme or interest. It seems to work well and it's always rewarding to see former strangers become engaged and find other topics to talk about - happens almost everytime. Another tip is to place main foods separate from snacks/appetizers, and particularly beverages so that folks do have to approach other areas where they have not become 'stationed'. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all.

  6. Kel, you'd be surprised what you can pull off in even a tiny studio - there's actually a story in the Guide about that. But if you'd prefer to take it outside your home, I recommend getting a small private room at a restaurant, preferably one where they'll let you dress the table yourself (with candles, place cards, etc), and where you can control the lighting - and even better, sound. And preferably one with the right-sized table - long, but around 28'' across. I've been at restaurants where I've had to rent and bring in my own tables, but that can get expensive and I don't recommend it!! Finally, getting them to serve meals family style will help make your dinner intimate and homey, despite the venue. I'm more or less repeating the advice in the guide, so if this is sparking ideas for you, definitely download it.

  7. Over the past 6 years I've hosted an event for anywhere from 15 to 20 friends at a local restaurant. We work out all the specifics (including costs) up front with the owners. We take a small section off the main dining room and have hors-devours of various types (party starts at 8:00). Some of the folks that come are people I see once or twice a year and typically everyone is familiar with each other. I run an open bar until 10:00 and most people end up hanging around afterwards. It's one of our favorite events of the year.

  8. Deanne Brandstetter says:
    December 8, 2009 at 9:11 pm
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    I have found that some of the most successful parties I've hosted are centered around the kitchen-especially with a large island where guests can "hang out", watch the chef and taste courses hot off the flame. It's a great icebreaker also for folks who don't now each other well and can also work well if you don't have lots of space to seat everyone at a table.

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