7 Ingredients for a Dinner Party that Will Put You on the Map

Posted on September 3rd, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

For all the sheer delight and good times a dinner party can impart, some people still seem to think it’s too hard, too time-consuming. The only image they have of a dinner party is of those grandly ornate occasions glamorized by Martha Stewart. Maybe those female-hosted TV shows are, perhaps, another reason why men, in particular, have forgotten the virtues of hosting a simple dinner gathering. They think it’s feminine. But trust me, guys, you can serve a fine meal in your home and still be masculine—and, if you’re single, it will do a world of good for your dating lives.

You see, there’s only one real rule to these get-togethers: Have fun. All right, there are a few other rules that might help you along the way. Among them:

1. Create a theme.
There is no reason that a small dinner party should not have a theme. One simple idea can help you pull the food and atmosphere together. You can build a party around anything, really. It could be your mother’s meatloaf recipe, a holiday, black tie (used rarely, as we want people to be totally comfortable), vegan food, specific music—whatever you like. People will get jazzed when they know you’re being creative.

2. Use invitations.
While I’m all for slapdash impromptu parties, the dinner parties that will be most successful will be those you’ve devoted some time and energy to. Whether by phone, e-mail, a web site like punchbowl.com, or handwritten note, be sure to get your invites out early—at least a month in advance—so people can have a chance to plan accordingly—and so you’ll know who is and who is not coming.

3. Don’t be a kitchen slave.
There’s no sense in a party being all work. If you can’t hire a caterer, either cook all the food ahead of time or just use takeout. If the food is good and the presentation snazzy, your guests will be impressed. The key to low-budget dinner parties is to keep it simple. Make one large dish, like a stew or chili that can be prepared a day or two ahead of time. Serve it with great bread and salad. That’s all you need.

4. Create atmosphere.
Make sure to spend an hour or two gussying up your place.Nothing expensive or out of the ordinary, mind you. Candles, flowers, dim lighting, and music set a good mood. Add a nice centerpiece to the dinner table. Get a young family member to walk around
serving drinks if you don’t have a bartender or waiter. The point is to give your guests all the signals they need to understand that it’s time to enjoy.

5. Forget being formal.
Most dinner parties don’t call for anything fancy. Follow the KISS principle (Keep It Simple, Silly). Good food. Good people. Lots of wine. Good conversation. That’s a successful dinner party. I always underdress just so no one else feels they did. Jeans and a jacket are my standard fare, but you judge for yourself.

6. Don’t seat couples together.
The essence of a good dinner party lies in seating everyone properly. If you seat couples together, things can get boring. Mix and match, putting people together who don’t know each other but perhaps share an interest of some kind. I like to set placeholders where I want people to sit. Each placeholder is a simple card with the guest’s name on it. If I have the time, I love to put an interesting question or joke on the back of the card that guests can use to break the ice with one another. Or you can go out and buy funny greeting cards just to make things interesting.

7. Relax.
Guests take their cues from the host—if you’re having fun, odds are that they will, too. The night of the party, your job is to enjoy all the fruits of your labor. That’s an order.

Anyone have a completely idiot-proofed recipe with a high wow-factor to share?

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12 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. Very interesting ...I will make sure to take all advices into consideration. Interesting ideas may spring any minute any place, specially if you create the proper atmosphere be it in leisure time or at work. Thanks for the tips!

  2. - Do something unexpected, for example - serve breakfast for dinner. An Egg or French Toast Casserole that can be assembled the night before.
    - Also allow folks to bring side dishes. It is another connection point.
    - Create new traditions...We will host our Annual OctoberFest next weekend. We ask each guest to bring a six-pack of beer to taste, (Domestic beers will not gain you party entry), party starts at 7:00 p.m. sharp, Beer Stations are all around the back-yard with tasting glasses, last guest to arrive owes the hosts a case of beer - our choice. German Fare is served after 8:00 p.m. including grilled brats, and all the fixings and even German desserts. And the beer discussions continue for hours. Everyone expects this party invite every fall.

  3. For the last five years (with only one exception) my wife and I have hosted a potluck/social once a month, always on the same day (3rd Friday). It is themed (examples: Hawaiian luau, blind wine tasting, Mardi Gras, dog days of summer); usually there is a small game or trivia quiz (obscure enough so that no one has an advantage) with a "not so fabulous prize"-- that has become a coveted by the regulars. Anyone who comes has the open invitation to invite others. There are times when only 1 showed, and times when 25+ have attended. In either case it is an enjoyable time. It is not a means to an end (networking), although networking happens. It is purposely eclectic in the backgrounds of those we invite, so that we can at the same gathering have legislators, lawyers, millionaire entrepreneurs, college students, doctors, nurses, and housekeepers; atheistist, Mormons, Buddists and Evangelicals; Dems, Rep and libertarians.
    It's all about enjoying people.

  4. Here's a great dinner party recipe from my cookbook and website, The Six O'Clock Scramble. You can get it ready ahead of time then bake when your guests arrive, and go with an Asian theme by serving wasabi peas, edamame, or sushi for appetizer.

    Magic Salmon in a Foil Packet

    Prep (15 minutes) + Cook (20 minutes)
    4 servings

    This baked salmon is a big hit with adults and kids — when I make it at cooking demonstrations people always ask for the recipe. The fish and vegetables emerge from the foil magically moist and sweet. Serve it with steamed brown or white rice and Sesame Soy Broccoli.

    1 1/2 lb. salmon fillet, preferably wild salmon
    1 cup pre-shredded carrots (or shred or julienne 1 - 2 large carrots)
    1 small red bell pepper or zucchini, slivered (use 1 cup total)
    2 Tbsp. peanut or vegetable oil
    2 tsp. minced garlic (3 - 4 cloves)
    1 Tbsp. minced fresh ginger or 1/2 tsp. ground ginger
    2 Tbsp. reduced-sodium soy sauce
    1 Tbsp. rice vinegar
    1 Tbsp. hoisin sauce

    Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Tear off about a 3 foot long strip of heavy-duty aluminum foil, and fold it in half to make a double thick square that is about 1 1/2 feet long. Place the foil on a baking sheet. Place the fish in the center of the foil. Top it with the slivered carrots and peppers or zucchini.

    In a small saucepan, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the garlic and ginger and sauté them until they are fragrant, about 1 minute. Add the soy sauce, vinegar, and hoisin sauce and simmer it for about 2 minutes. Remove the saucepan from the heat.

    Pour the sauce evenly over the fish and vegetables. Wrap the foil into an airtight packet around the fish, vegetables and sauce, folding and sealing the edges. Bake the fish for 20-25 minutes (use the longer time for thicker fillets). (Meanwhile, start the rice and broccoli if you are making them.)

    Remove the fish from the oven and open it immediately (and carefully) so the fish stops cooking. Serve it hot.

    Scramble Flavor Booster: To spice up the recipe, add 1 tsp. of chili garlic sauce or Thai sweet chili sauce to the sauce.

    Tip: In many cities, you can rinse and recycle aluminum foil rather than throwing it away.

    Side Dish suggestion: To make Sesame Soy Broccoli, heat 1 Tbsp. sesame oil in a wok or skillet over medium-high heat. Lightly brown 2 tsp. minced garlic (3 – 4 cloves). Add 1 lb. broccoli spears and 1/8 cup water. Cover, reduce heat to medium, and steam the broccoli for 4 - 5 minutes, until it is tender-crisp. Add 1 Tbsp. reduced-sodium soy sauce, and stir-fry it for 1 more minute before serving. Top it with 1 – 2 tsp. toasted sesame seeds, if desired.

  5. This lamb ragu recipe is simple, foolproof, and tastes even better if you make it a day ahead and reheat for guests. Double or triple it if you're expecting a crowd. Note that it also works great with beef and with pork shoulder.

    6 tbls olive oil
    2 peeled cloves garlic
    6" sprig fresh rosemary (go ahead and use ½ - 1 tsp dried)
    Bay leaf (I used 2)
    2 lbs meat (lamb stew meat recommended if you can get it; beef or pork works well too), chopped in ¾" chunks
    1 lb coarsely chopped plum tomatoes
    ½ cup white wine
    1 cup water
    Heat the oil Medium in a big pot and brown the garlic and rosemary and bay in it, about 1 minute. Salt and pepper the meat and dump it in. Brown it well by stirring and sauteing, about 8 minutes. Put the wine in and deglaze the pan (scrape up any burned bits from the bottom). Add tomatoes and water, stirring, and salt and pepper. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 90 minutes. Add more water if necessary—you probably won't have to. You can probably let it go for 2 ½ hours if you want, but add a little water after 2. It shouldn't need much stirring, if any.
    Serve over rice or couscous (preferred) or pasta--"tube" kinds like rigatoni work well. Add a nice green salad and you're good to go. Good wines to accompany the dish include Shiraz, Chianti, and village or table-level French Burgundy.

  6. Keith - love this, you hit all the points someone new to entertaining needs to make a lovely dinner party! Dinner parties, both when I was single, and know with a family, are such great ways to have meaningful conversations!

    I don't know if you remember Gerald Haman from the Solution People, (who you should know from your Chicago days) his wife Jillian came-up with the concept "The Savvy Host" and wrote the book with another friend, Mary Spada. The book further defines all your points about taking that first step to have a dinner party.

    Also, I am starting consulting folks who would like to entertain but need someone to help them, based on the The philosophy of Savvy Host’s Entertaining Essentials© which are:
    1. An Occasion to Entertain
    2. Invitation Essentials
    3. Bar Basics and Beyond
    4. Planning a Savvy Menu
    5. Creating Ambience
    6. Stylish Tabletops
    7. Serving Savoir-Faire
    8. Behind-the-Scenes

    So if anyone needs help to get started, I am available to work with you to have the perfect dinner party!

    Wishing you all the best,
    Mary Kay Gaspar Laurent
    Savvy Host Consultant
    mkglaurent@comcast.net

  7. Cous Cous! most people have never tried it and end-up loving it! Directions: buy box for $1, boil water, dump in cous cous + flavoring, stir, let sit. done!

  8. Nice read. Thanks for this post. I have tried lots of different wine openers throughout the years. I was searching for that perfect one and tried most of wine openers available online. However the most I enjoyed using Automatic Wine Opener. It's really easy to operate and does the job perfectly just in few twists. You think I'm kidding you?. You can search more in google and find out what people talk about it.

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