What I’ve Learned from Dumpster Kids, a Buddhist Monk, and Other Wise Teachers (Part 1)

Posted on January 10th, 2011 by Keith Ferrazzi

This is a four-part series sharing lessons in joy, success, and even fidelity, that I brought back with me from a 2-week service trip to Thailand and Cambodia at the close of 2010. Check back every day this week for the next three parts. -KF

Photo Courtesy of Asiacenterfoundation.org

Lesson #1: Choose your family wisely.

I saw this listed in a Bangkok gym as tip number ten to “live a long life,” but it struck me as particularly poignant as I was thinking about my trip during my last run on the beach in Thailand before going back to LA.

Let me start with the story of a brother and sister, whom Big Task Foundation now sponsors. (No pics of these specific kids at the orphanages’ request, to protect their privacy.) They were living in a trash dump, literally, with a prostitute mother and a drunk father who beat her up a lot – she drank a lot too.  During the day, they wandered the streets and at night slept on the trash among the rats. Then at the young ages of 5 and 6 they stumbled upon the Asia Center Foundation (AsiaCenterFoundation.org) and took refuge there, among people who cared about them, fed them, and got them into school and on the path to college.

In other words, they chose to find a family that gave them what they needed. The little boy, who wants to be a lawyer, still interacts with his mom although he lives at the safe house; the sister doesn't want to even visit because she’s afraid of being recruited to her mother's profession.  They’ve been through a lot, but they’re happy.

Even as children, they chose wisely. We should all do the same – and it applies to our professional lives. To be happy, you have to seek out the right partners, and be proactive about it. Frustrated by your work environment? Then find the accountability buddy who won’t let you fail.  Find or develop the team that cares so deeply about each other's success that they will out-perform better-resourced, even smarter teams because they have the passion.  Find the loving support that will give you the encouragement you need to see the potential and not the limitations. Why should you let anyone stand in your way of success when there are people out there who can give you all you need.  Find them!

Check out parts two, three, and four.

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8 comments // In Philanthropy
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8 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. Wow! What a powerful story! All too often people think they are stuck in circumstances, even when we know we have choices. I discovered that sadly the people who are closest to you aren't the best ones to reach out to. There are people who will support you, you just [often] have to look beyond those that are "in the dumpster" with you.
    Great reminder, thanks!

  2. Indeed very powerful story!
    It reminds me of Voltaire's quote:

    "Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game."

    This kids are going to win the game!
    Jordi

  3. For this who are lucky to have a 'regular' family this underscores the need to be appreciative of one's family.

  4. Promila Chand-Kandal says:
    January 11, 2011 at 12:22 pm
    Reply

    "From Trash to Treasure" if I could be allowed to paraphrase...this was a wonderful example of how even in these dyer circumstances these children defied the odds. My comments are about the second part of this article as it relates to our professional lives. In order to be happy, do you stay and fertilize your lawn in your current situation or should you look for a team environment that shares your passion, displays accountability and is better resourced?

    • Promila, most of us haven't made the most of the team around us. so I would say first make sure you've done everything you can to build quality relationships, trust, and teamwork in your own environment. (Who's Got Your Back is the guide for that.) Sure it's easier to step into a culture that already supports your passions and principles, but we can be leaders more than we think we can where we are today. that's what i see again and again.

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