Guest Post: How I Changed My Life By Asking for Help

Posted on May 20th, 2010 by Keith Ferrazzi

I got this e-mail recently from former TV actor Bryan Buffinton, who has launched a new career as a financial services provider – an amazing testament to how much your life can change when you learn to ask for help! - KF

I was once an Emmy-nominated teen star on Guiding Light. Today I’m a much happier man with a new career I enjoy at a financial services firm in Tampa. How’d I make that transition?

Back when I was acting, I never thought for a second that I would be doing anything else for the rest of my life. But then I graduated from college and started having trouble finding gigs. I began to panic.  Who was I if I wasn't an actor?  I had never felt validated because of the attention and celebrity, but then when it was gone it made me feel like a failure.

After reading Never Eat Alone, I made a concerted effort to evaluate my life and where I was headed.  I sat down for an entire weekend and thought, thought some more, and thought yet again and realized that in order to move forward, I had to come face to face with what I realized was a major fear of asking for help.

During my TV years, I became close with so many great actors, directors, and producers. I had this vast network of people who had watched me grow up and were practically surrogate parents to me.  They all would have jumped at the chance to help me out.  But I refused to make even one call, despite my own mother urging me to do so.  I had this misguided notion that if someone helped me get to where I wanted to go, my life would be tainted.  I saw a helping hand as no different than a hand out.

After 9/11, I, like many others, lost a lot of money in mutual funds. As a result, I decided that I wanted to know more about how money worked.  Soon after reading Keith’s book, I moved to Tampa and my girlfriend introduced me to a friend of hers through a BNI (Business Networking International) group.  He invited me to a few classes he was teaching and before I knew it I was studying and getting licensed to teach the unique financial strategies and concepts I had learned.

For the last couple of years I have been working with a financial services firm in Tampa. I am also now the President of Referral Connection, a BNI chapter in Wesley Chapel, FL. Because I am building and growing my practice, I have had to learn to ask for help every chance I get.  I have to remind myself constantly that the instinct in me to want to help others also exists in other good caring people.  It's the most challenging time of my life but I feel like I've found something really special.

Never Eat Alone has honestly helped me by enhancing my excitement about the future and replacing my fear of help with a vigor to give help where I am able to give it and not be afraid to ask for help.  Things have changed dramatically for me, and although I know I have a long way to go, I look forward to the journey now.

-Bryan Buffinton

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  2. Great Post, Keith!
    This post focuses on the power of relationships. It's important to have those networking skills as well as knowing our industry inside out. The first time I saw a copy of "Never Eat Alone" my first reaction was, "Who's buying?" :)

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