Keith met Hammad Khan in Atlanta on the WGYB Tour - he heads up the Greenlight Community group there. We asked him to write up his story after he told Keith that by using the principles in NEA and WGYB, he had gone from being a newly-hired engineering co-op to leading one of the largest engineering teams in his organization. He also lost over forty pounds, can now run two miles in 13 minutes, and recently scored a 300/300 in the Army Physical Fitness Test (APFT).

Here's his story.

How I Lost 40 Pounds and Met My Financial Goals with the Help of Lifelines and Others
By Hammad Khan

Like Keith, I grew up poor, and also like Keith, my parents worked as hard as they could to make sure I was in the best schools they could afford. Consequently, I put on blinders, worked as hard as I could, and focused on getting what everyone around me seemed to have: a house with 2.7 cars, a white picket fence, and a nice job.

About three years ago, I arrived. About two years ago, I realized that the hype may have been overstated.

The thing is, I define myself by my achievements. I’ve always been a ferociously goal-driven person. However, I didn’t have the framework to monitor progress or to think holistically about what goals would make me happy. The end result? Frustration.

For example, while working through school, I had focused on nothing outside getting The Grades, The Job, The House, The Car and The Life. I had sacrificed everything, including my health, in getting there. No problem, thought I: I’ll just set a goal to be in shape by such-and-such time. Accordingly, I would work out and diet, and after a week or so, I would get frustrated at the lack of results, and… stop. I would watch my deadline get bigger as it got closer, watch my pants get smaller, and get increasingly aggravated about how I couldn’t do anything about it.

As another example, I had ambitious financial goals, but they were formulated within the “get a good job” framework. As such, when the economy tanked and my pay was frozen, I saw my goal slink away, out of reach. The worst part, by far? I couldn’t do anything about it!

I really, really don’t react well to situations where I feel powerless -- goal-driven, achievement-oriented people rarely do. You wouldn’t believe the stress. I was in a place of absolute frustration, imprisoned by self-imposed helplessness, watching my financial and physical goals shrink further away. Steinbeck says, “Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps in it.” I sure felt like I had stepped in it.

About a year ago, I decided it was time to fix things. A mentor recommended Never Eat Alone. I picked up a copy, and couldn’t put it down. Not only did the book provide a framework for goal-setting and tracking, but if offered a novel idea so straightforward that I was annoyed I hadn’t thought of it myself: How about using one’s network to help?

The first part, as per Keith’s advice, was to set goals. That’s fine, I already had goals. Wait, no! I had goals with nebulous timeframes. Those aren’t goals. At best, they’re ambitious dreams; at worst, they are little more than wishful thinking.

That weekend, I took a few hours and distilled goals out of my dreams. I knew where I wanted to be in “about five years,” so that was easy enough to turn into a five-year goal. Then, working backwards from there, I got a three-year goal, and then a one-year goal. From a one-year goal, it was easy enough to build monthly and quarterly milestones.

That exercise complete, I looked proudly at the spreadsheet splayed out before me, and felt the warm thud of reality kick. By the end of the month, I needed to make about three times as much as I did, and I needed to be twice as healthy. D’oh.

Clearly, this wasn’t working. As tendrils of frustration tickled the base of my neck, I realized I was missing a piece: the Personal Board of Directors.

The next few months were difficult. I renewed relationships should never have let wither, and had difficult meetings with mentors and friends. Finally, I ended up with two groups of three people: one to help with financial goals, another to help with physical goals. (Discovering these friends was both challenging and rewarding, and could alone be the subject of a second article.)

Over coffee and snacks, we reviewed my goals. Entirely due to my little group of friends, I realized that my financial and physical goals were not out of reach at all. Because four heads are smarter than one, I realized that if anything, I had been too conservative. I just lacked the tools and the knowledge to achieve the goals I envisioned! My Board of Directors, however, was more than happy to show me the way. All I had to do was get the work done. Well, bring it on! I’ve never once been scared of work!

It’s been about a year since then. I’m in better shape than I have ever been in my life, and I’m on track to meet financial goals that just sixteen months ago I would have sworn were impossible. In the process, I’ve met friends and found mentors who will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Most importantly, the frustration, the poison that comes from feeling caged and helpless, is gone. When I feel those familiar tendrils of frustration tickle the base of my neck, when I get impatient, I just check The Plan. I’m usually where I need to be. If not, it’s just a small adjustment. Like Warren Buffett’s snowball, a small adjustment now results in a big change five years later.

It’s critical to realize that while I’m where I need to be, I didn’t get here by myself. In fact I simply couldn’t have. Alone, I didn’t have the merest inkling of how, or a fraction of the resources. Steinbeck is right: Man does spring his own trap. But what he doesn’t mention is that man is also capable of finding others to help get him out. Without them, getting out is simply not possible.

Anyone have any questions for Hammad?

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