From a young Never Eat Alone reader:

Good news! I was just promoted from my current position to a Marketing role within [a major financial company] last week.   

I knew I wanted to work in the
Marketing Department when I started 4 years ago. So I
immediately put the Never Eat Alone principles to work and sought after those people who are
working in the department to make solid connections. I was direct, generous,
and honest about how I was very interested in what they
do. 
      
When I saw the position open up, I immediately
arranged for a meet-and-greet through one of my more senior level friends. She
also put in a good word for me, that didn't hurt. They hired me immediately
following the interview. I was alittle nervous because It was my first "real"
interview, and a 3-person panel to top it off. I was nervous at first, but I ended up
being a discussion leader throughout the entire meeting. I made it seem more
like a discussion among friends rather than a formal
affair, and I tried as much as I could to convey warmth, and
that I really wanted to just work with great people.

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Lisa Haneberg tells it like it is in the Boss's Day e-book that she and Jack Covert put together: Nine Lives of Leadership. Here's one bit that will catch your attention from Chapter 1, for which I'm the contributing expert. (You could probably guess Chapter 1 is all about relationships.)

"Intimate" is another word that makes some
people (and many HR professionals) uncomfortable. Let me just say it: When I
use the word intimate in this context, I am not talking about having sex!
Intimate business relationships are those that we create through deep and
personal conversations and partnerships. When we share our dreams, we are
becoming intimate. When we listen to someone's deepest frustrations and
challenges, the discussion is intimate. Anytime we speak or listen from our
heart and soul, we are intimately connected...

Get the new e-book at...

Link: 800CEOREAD: Nine Lives of Leadership

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'Network Your Way To Success'
Learning Annex in Manhattan
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
6:45 PM to 9:30 PM
Learn more at
http://nevereatalone.url123.com/open1

Join me on October 19 and I'll help you...

- Acquire a mindset for building strong, mutually beneficial relationships.

- Identify the people who can help you achieve your career and life goals.

- Learn to create the kind of intimacy you feel with close friends in only a few minutes with new acquaintances.

- Reach anybody – even Aspirational Contacts! – using advanced approach tactics such as Making Audacious Requests, Sharing Networks, and Writing Something!

Get $5 off when you enroll in my 'Network Your Way To Success' class at this URL.
http://nevereatalone.url123.com/open1

(If you can't make it to NYC, perhaps you can forward this to your friends who can. Help them succeed, too!)

Looking forward to the 19th. Hope you can make it!

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My good friend Bob, who worked “in the market,” used to tell
me to guard my vacations. He would schedule a 2-week vacation every year, and
no matter how much the market was tanking or booming or whatever, he would wipe
his hands clean of the office chaos for a full two weeks.

I’m so happy I’ve been taking his advice. Nowadays I try to
take 7 to 10 days each quarter to just to sit and read and think and write. I
did a 10-day retreat in August, and in the midst of reading and writing pretty
much nonstop, I think I got a great start on my next book that I’m very excited
about. Plus, when I returned, I felt so energized and was much more
productive. My Ferrazzi Greenlight team even commented on the increased creativity,
comfort, and lack of stress they noticed…they’ll probably want me to take another vacation
soon!

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I was asked to be the speaker at last night’s OutCast
Communications annual dinner. What a fantastic example of a company practicing
the principles of Never Eat Alone! OutCast had over 200 people at a dinner
party that was a very generous opportunity for media professionals and non-media
executives to get to know each other. Certainly, there’s use in the media
meeting media and executives meeting executives, but the real value, of course
is in them getting to know each other and OutCast Communications. 

The night started with a fine cocktail party. Then we moved
to dinner. And I was the “entertainment.” They had previously done all sorts of
panels and talks at these dinners. But the feedback clearly stated that the
guests did not want to be talked at. They wanted to talk to each other. So my
job was to facilitate that. 

Any big presentation boils down to two things. You have to entertain
them and you have to give them content. For some reason, I always feel there should be more content than entertainment, but in this case, as
soon as I got on stage I felt a vibe that what this group needed most was
simply entertainment. So I decided to go 90 percent entertainment. 

The result: I got the message across and it was a blast. Frankly,
it made me to want to go study at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles. It was so much fun and I saw how
effective comedy was in delivering the message. At first I felt to some extent
like I was cheating the client because I’m used to giving 1-hour-plus, deeply
engaging, here’s-how-to-change-your-life-talks. Last night I only did 15
minutes of very fun, entertaining, comedic monologue about building
relationships. And then I got right to helping the guests interact with each
other. It turned out to be exactly what OutCast and their guests wanted.

One important thing I had them do was acknowledge that as
media and executives, they distrust each other so much. To just get all our prejudices
out in the open, I had each guest pair up with a person of the opposite “party”
and just spend some time standing in front of each other, looking each other in
the face. 

I said, “Now judge them! Oh, come on. You’re going to do it
anyway. Judge them.” And while they were judging each other, I narrated their
subliminal thoughts.

"I know what you press people are thinking about the
executives…You’re just not that bright to be paid that much.”

“And you executives…you’re thinking, Off the record? Bullshit!” 

“And both of you are saying this about each other, I know
it…Oh, you little little little man. Oh, you love your power don’t you?”

We had a lot of laughs--we always find humor in the truth, don't we? And in the end, it was a fantastic evening. A big room full of
great, intimate, real conversations. And a great lesson for me…Now off to The Comedy Store.

Link: OutCast Communications http://www.outcastpr.com/

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As we continue to cope with the aftermath of such atrocities
as 9/11 and natural disasters like hurricanes Katrina, Rita, and others, it’s
apparent that physical infrastructure is not the only thing in need of repair.
We must focus on the rebuilding of community, human community. Times like these
remind us of the power and importance that relationships have above all else in
our lives. Out of the many who suffered the loss of all their worldly belongings,
those who had the strongest personal relationships with friends and family
clearly fared the best of all. When panic struck, those with strong
relationships had places to go where people were willing to take them in.

It’s imperative that when people take lessons from the
recent events, two lessons stand above all others:

1. We Cannot Get Anywhere Alone. We need relationships, and
   we all need to start today, start building the relationships we’ll need when
   crisis strikes, as it inevitably will in life. Start today creating intimacy
   between you and the people who are important to you. Start today practicing generosity.
   Contribute to the success of others today and tomorrow and forever, and you’ll
   never be short of people who care about your success and well-being, too.
2. Build It Before You Need It. Again, start today. Because
   in the case of natural disaster or job loss or any other unforeseeable event,
   once it happens, it’s, frankly, a little too late to build the kind of strong,
   genuine, deep-rooted relationships that you need most.

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My friend Nick Kellet was lying back in the dentist's chair, watching ABC's Good Morning America last week when a segment came on about how certain eating habits can lead to obesity. One was

Social Fare: Eating alone is associated with overeating. When you eat with someone else, you're more likely to slow down and eat less.

Who knew Never Eat Alone might help people lose weight? But given my passion for health and wellness, I'm sure glad to hear it.

Read all about the eating styles study at the link below.

Study: Seven Styles of Eating Can Lead to Obesity

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Amazing what sharing your interests and passions and having a little audacity can do!

From NeverEatAlone reader Kathleen Richardson:

After four years of physical disability, I received
the okay to return to work. My close brush with death convinced me that I would
never again take a job just for the sake of employment. I was very picky and
searched for almost a year. One day I stopped at an office building to drop off
a resume in response to a newspaper ad that sounded good.  The building
receptionist had no idea what the ad was about or who to give my resume to. While we talked over our options, the director of a non-profit who had a small
office there stopped to join the conversation. 

 

When I found out where she worked, I lost my focus
and started asking her questions about her agency and her history with it. I
was so fascinated that I asked if we could meet again sometime so she could tell
me more. She agreed and we immediately set a date and time. I went to that
meeting simply because I was interested and curious. I figured she'd give me 15
or 20 minutes out of her busy day. We met and
after two hours of exhilarating conversation, she offered me a position--the
perfect position, nothing like I was looking for but exactly what I wanted. 

 

Follow up to that story:  Three months later, I
walked into the local library and found out by chance that they were looking for
a Volunteer Coordinator.  Just for the heck of it, I asked to speak with the
Library Director.  We talked for about 30 minutes and she offered me the
position.  Four years later, I'm still there - employed part-time just as I
wanted.   The even-more-perfect position.

Kathleen Richardson
http://www.onyourwaytothetop.com

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Listen to my interview with Landed.fm at

http://www.landed.fm/shows/keith-ferrazzi.html

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Did an interview with Lisa Haneberg yesterday and spent a lot of the time talking about how business relationships are personal relationships. See what she wrote about it at the link below.

Link: Management Craft blog - "Business Intimacy"

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