Q&A – Problem with a mentor

Posted on March 29th, 2005 by Keith Ferrazzi

Here's a tough situation a NeverEatAlone reader is having with his mentor (and that's the first problem -- only having 1 mentor!). My quick two cents follows. Also check out Chapter 29 in Never Eat Alone, "Find Mentors, Find Mentees, Repeat."

Q: I'm 26 years old, and have worked at the same large
company for the past 7 years (internships during undergrad and then full time
after completing my degree). There is a VP at my company who has always
mentored me. He has been my sounding board on everything from work issues to
project ideas during my MBA studies.

The relationship has always worked both ways. I've helped
him out on projects when he has been in a resource crunch and he's always
helped guide me on career decisions. Within the last year, he has become very
removed from our mentor/mentee relationship. I'm confident that it's because of
his increased responsibility and workload.

That said, do I need to look for a new mentor? Do you
recommend developing multiple mentoring relationships so I don't get into this
problem again? I feel like my mentor only takes an interest in my career when
he's in one of those resource crunches. I know we're all busy, but I would like
to think a good mentor makes time. In the context of your nepotism article,
this person used to be good about the care element, but not anymore. Any
suggestions?
------------------

A: I have many mentors, and you should, too. Be grateful for
the relationship you have with each. Resentments or regrets are a waste of
emotional energy.

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2 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. Dear Keith, I have a kinda stupid question, how do you ask a person to be your mentor? do i just approach him/her and ask "can you be my mentor?" :P

  2. I don't think you answered the question very well. You sort of implied an answer with your first sentence, but it isn't too clear. The second and third sentences may be a bit cliche, too. Please be a bit more verbose and give us some personal experience here :P

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