Are you serious?

Posted on July 31st, 2006 by markgoulston

Mark Goulston

Does this sound like anyone you know?

Recently I have been slipping and violating a dictum I try to follow, namely "take the world seriously, but not yourself."

I often get into intense exchanges with people that I believe are mutually rewarding, satisfying, etc.... however I also get into exchanges with smart people who would just like a breather from the intensity of the world and where my intensity is "looking for respect in all the wrong places."

I think the best deterrent to this, which unfortunately comes as too little, too late, is my wife telling me I've done it yet again (been too intense in a social gathering where less was more appropriate).  My explanation that it is a manifestation of my fearful aggression (i.e. an "over the top" compensation for my social shyness) is insightful, but no longer an excuse.

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3 comments // In Never Eat Alone
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3 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. No offence Mark but I come here to read Keith Ferrazzi, where has he gone?

  2. Hello mark,

    It`s a wonderful gift to be able to know when you are in sync or not when you are speaking with someone(i.e:when the other person is really interested and listening and not just waiting for their turn to speak ).I sometimes get into a very deep and intense conversation with someone i have just met. it`s ususally well received when we are in alignment with our values and beliefs.However i sometimes found that my level of passion was inapropriate in certain settings and would even make people inconfotable. " looking for respect in the wrong places" unfortunately, i can relate...I learned that sometimes saying less is more...congratulation on making that distinction!

  3. Ha! Mark, I have too been accused by my wife of becoming too enthralled in social conversation, especially whenever one of my peers is discussing the business of design. Thing is, in NYC it is often perfectly normal to have one or more "eccentrics" at a social gathering so I am afraid I get away with it more than not. But throw me in the suburbs or Connecticut and I end up being like a Bull in a china shop!

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