Lessons from Dick Gephardt: Just Listen!

Posted on September 29th, 2011 by Keith Ferrazzi

I spent several hours with former House Majority Leader Dick Gephardt recently, and he told me some great stories. When he led the house he held a daily meeting on the hill with a broad set of 60 leaders. Sometimes it was an hour, sometimes much longer, but the stated purpose wasn't to argue and win, it was to LISTEN.  He knew that if he started the meeting with an agenda to convince folks all they'd get out of the session was more contentious debate. Instead he asked everyone to listen to each other. He encouraged and coached high degrees of candor, and what he found is that the increased listening and empathy pushed people to collaborate, and to give where they would normally take.

Consider this when you run meetings, or are looking to defuse conflict. Don't immediately push toward a particular solution - spend time listening first, and see where it takes you.

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  1. I must agree with what you said Keith that in order to defuse conflict, don't immediately push toward a particular solution - spend time listening first, and see where it takes you. Our being human sometimes ignites our domineering side - that part of us that becomes too pushy or overly dominating. This kind of behavior rarely solves conflicts because neither of the two parties would want to give up their convictions or views towards certain things. So then, listening is important. Try to hear what the other party has to say because their view might be something that is objectively thought of and something in which everyone could benefit. Nevertheless, if you feel that your view is more plausible, a subtle way of expressing it proves to be less stressful.

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