The HUGE Mistake People Make with Email, and 7 Tips to Avoid It

Posted on November 19th, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

email_largeEvery email you write is an opportunity to strengthen a relationship.

If, in the grind of daily business, you’re wasting that opportunity, you’re making a huge mistake.

Email has become a primary means of communication inside companies and across divisions - sometimes even just across a cube division! Are you going to wait for a face-to-face, or until you're sauced at the Christmas party to be kind and conversational, and talk to someone besides the guy at the desk next to you? No!

Here are 7 tips to maximize relationship development – and ultimately, team performance  – in your intra-office emails.

  1. Hey, Boss:  Don’t be afraid to email your boss. In a recent IBM study, researchers found that employees with strong email links to a manager produced an extra $588 of revenue per month over the norm. (If your manager gripes, share the study: http://smallblue.research.ibm.com/publications/Utah-ValueOfSocialNetworks.pdf.)
  2. Cross Divisions:  In that same study, they found that employees who wrote to a more diverse circle of recipients created more revenue. So think broadly when reaching out to colleagues for help in problem-solving or for information.
  3. P’s and Q’s: We email the same people over and over again. Sometimes that means we drop the niceties. When email becomes an ongoing conversation, that’s OK. But in your general practice, take the extra second to include a salutation or a “thank you.” Also: Reread and edit emails before sending.
  4. The Spastic Blackberry: Ever hastily read an email and sent a reply while you’re in the middle of something else – walking, having lunch, boarding a plane – and realized later you’d created confusion in your less-than-well-thought-out response? (My staff has taken me to task for this, since I’m so often on the road, and I’ve worked hard to improve it!) Resist the urge to multitask so much you don’t give each communication the respect and focus it deserves.
  5. Brevity and Levity:  Make emails as short as possible (shoot for 50 words or less) and don’t be afraid to show personality and throw in some humor. Stay focused on the message, of course, but enjoy writing it.
  6. Universal Currency: Emails are a wonderful ground for universal currency – i.e. genuine compliments. Why not add a “PS” to at least one message a day, complimenting a colleague on something he or she’s done well?
  7. Provide a Service: The event planner at my company sends the entire office brief, bi-weekly updates on fun stuff upcoming in LA. The emails put everyone in a good mood, and they’re a great emblem of her personality (outgoing hostess-with-the-most-ess). What service could you offer? It might be related to your job, or it might be a hobby or a passion that has universal appeal. You don't need to spend much time on it; the key is to do it regularly.

What's your favorite tip for friendly, useful emails?



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22 comments // In Business Networking, Communication, Team Building
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22 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. Great advice, Keith. As technology hastens the pace of day-to-day interactions, it's sometimes easy to forget quality control - and perhaps more importantly - common decency. Sometimes reading an email aloud will help you to realize the tone you are projecting, and maybe even stop you from writing something that makes the recipient feel socially shafted.

  2. Those are some great tips Keith. As you mentioned, every email is an opportunity to further your relationship.

    On that point, one thing I have been working on and has been going well is allowing my personality shine through more. I found that I fell into the trap of speaking like a person but writing like a robot. My emails always came across very cold and impersonal... even when I was writing my friends. I was over compensating and trying to sound too professional. I would never talk the way I write so it seemed like another person was communicating.

    Whether you are branding your company or yourself, consistency is key. Make sure you write as you would speak to that person. Keep it professional of course but the difference maker is that they like you.

  3. I set my Blackbery to automatically spell check all my outgoing emails and in addition I add a tag line " Excuse any sloppy english as I try to be responsive via my blackberry" to all my messages.

  4. Hello Keith,

    Thank you for this posting and for your blog! You delivered valued advice on using emails.

    I work on P's and Q's [#3]. When I am under the apparent fierce urgency of time, I think the recipient just wants the gist about the 5 o’clock meeting. Wrong. What I thought was important when I wrote the email, is not in time. Nurturing and maintaining the relationship, as you write, is the lasting purpose. After I write an email, I review it for these core elements: Was I kind, respectful, and courteous? That's what the reader will remember, not the gist about the 5 o'clock meeting.

    Thank you, again,

    George

  5. Bob, I just did that last night with my Iphone!

  6. Good stuff, Keith. What I would add is: 8) Put extra thought into the subject line: Whether you want to grab attention, tease or drive a response, the subject line is the first thing that a recipient is going to see in their inbox. Make your first impression short, snappy and meaningful.

    • dennis arends says:
      November 19, 2009 at 1:39 pm
      Reply

      fully agree with that. and change the email subject when responding. sometimes we get emails that still have the same subject although it has a trail of three or more messages

  7. This goes for email, regular mail, and oral conversation - never say "Thanks", but say "Thank You". It's a much nicer way of saying it. As soon as I read about this, I haven't said "thanks" since then, and I feel better when I say the whole Thank You.

  8. Hi Keith,
    Thanks for the great tips. In regards to the research study in point #1 and #2, do you know if the researchers confirmed the direction of causation? In other words, is it that emailing your boss and more people causes you to rise up in the ranks and make more money, or is it that people that are already in a higher paying position that requires more interaction with the boss and with more diverse sets of people, and therefore sending more emails to those people?

  9. Hey Keith,
    Thanks for the tips.
    As someone who emails regularly, and to all sorts of professionals in all sorts of fields.
    What I find kind a challenge at times is knowing when to get short!
    I often get 15 words or less from a busy executive who's trying his/her best to stay in touch or give response.
    The challenge lies in getting short also?
    Or keeping the pleasantries. A lot I know depends on relationship, but as its often just forming through these communications lies my challenge...
    Your thoughts?

    Thanks!
    PS. YYC is loving Who's got your back?

  10. Keith Ferrazzi says:
    November 19, 2009 at 12:51 pm
    Reply

    Livia, the study only showed correlation, not causation:

    "By analyzing one of the largest organizational electronic communication networks ever collected and combining it with detailed performance data, we show initial evidence that not only are network topology characteristics associated with productivity, human capital of inside one‘s social network and tie strength to the appropriate human capital are also positively correlated with information worker productivity. We find that having strong links to management is associated with higher revenue generation, but simply knowing many managers and have minimal correlations with performance. This demonstrates the importance of distinguishing one‘s social network not only by its network topologies but also the content of the network such as the cumulative human capital inside the network and the strength of ties connecting to this type of capital."

    Here's what I've seen anecdotally many times - those who reach out to others liberally for information usually have better information, and better ability to solve problems.

  11. Keith Ferrazzi says:
    November 19, 2009 at 12:56 pm
    Reply

    Hussein - good rule of thumb is to always keep emails as short as possible. If you're independent (or if your company would support it) you could consider adding a good quote to your signature - something that expresses your professional or personal philosophy with wisdom and grace. a quick way to give people a hint of "you" beyond the business of your email.

    hope that helps and THANK YOU for commenting (Tom is absolutely right - three letters that make a difference!)

  12. Great post Keith, and I agree with your list of 7. Here are 4 more I'd offer from my years as a Corp Communications director:

    (1) Use email for positive or neutral/factual communications ONLY and NEVER email when you are feeling angry or addressing a conflict. It's worse than drunk-dialing an old flame at 2:00 AM, so just don't do it. Put the keyboard down...slowly...then either sleep on it or pick up the phone.

    (2) Only cc other people when needed, and be clear in the body of the message *why* you are cc'ing those particular people (eg, "cc'ing Denise for possible impact on XYZ project and John/Julie/Dan just as an fyi.") Pare down the distrib list as an email conversation narrows into a specific sub-topic so as to not waste people's time or to confuse to whom the discussion is directed.

    (3) Avoid the vortex of back and forth "reply all" messages, which can cause an endless loop of emails with no obvious path to closure. If you start with a simple email intended for one purpose (eg,to inform a group about a new policy) and it later morphs into something else (eg, people questioning how the new policy got approved or what it means), that's a signal that the issue is too complex to manage via email. You can escape your reply all hell by sending one final message to the group that shuts down the email chain. Just acknowledge that there is clearly an issue that requires further discussion and let people know that you will take the issue offline. Schedule a face-to-face or telecon mttg (or do one-on-one follow ups if more appropriate) to address feedback and resolve the issue. When done, close the loop by sending an email to the original distrib list informing them of the outcome.

    (4) Make the most of your email subject lines. Shoot for highly descriptive subject lines (eg, not just "Networking Question" but "Networking Question: Know any Six Sigma gurus in the Marketing/Commercial space?"). Even better, depending on your relationship to the recipient(s), you might include a tag at the beginning of the subject line such as "Action Required:", "Feedback/Review Needed:", "Response Requested by XX date:" or simply "FYI:" for general interest emails. And NEVER leave your subject line blank. It communicates either sloppiness, laziness, or lack of respect for the reader's time, and will substantially reduce the chances that your email will be read and acted upon.

    My four cents... :)

  13. Great post Keith. I really liked the underlying theme in a lot of the points - try to find a way to make the person on the other end have a better day.

    P.S. I liked the idea of adding the post script to at least one email a day. It's very underused, but people always read the P.S. right?

  14. Wow! Great post and comments! I just changed my signature on my Blackberry (Thank you Bob) I'll be reading this blog again. I just wish more people I have to deal with would read this post!

    Cheers,

    Jeph

  15. Hi, if people can only remember the top 3-5, would it be #1-#5 on this list? Thanks.

  16. Dear Keith,
    Really enjoyed your article, "The HUGE Mistake People Make with Email, and 7 Tips to Avoid It." Appreciated your sharing your perspective and insights. I'm going to follow you on Twitter.
    Sincerely,
    Gloria

  17. Oh yeah, and one more...#5: "bcc" = Trust Buster. 'Nuff said. :)

  18. SUNDER LALVANI says:
    February 14, 2010 at 7:51 pm
    Reply

    Dear Keith
    Thank you for the very useful tips.
    If I may reiterate on certain points as under:
    * The Subject must be in Block capitals. Must convey the central idea & the required response of the message. Shows you up for clarity & an organised mind; thereby, drawing the recipients requisite attention & a deliberate response.
    * Frame the message after conversing with the recipient in your mind/aloud, to get the desired effect.
    * Must spell-check & re-read deliberately before dispatch.
    * Must convey encouragement subtly or directly, depending on the circumstances e.g. "Keith, I know, I can depend on you for some brilliant ideas on conducting the Seminar".
    * Humor thrown in, lightens the mood; & enhances relationship.
    Regards,
    Sunder

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