Three Ways to Become More Successful, Today

Posted on October 22nd, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

Today's guest blog is from Kim Ann Curtin, a NYC-based business and life coach whom I've had the pleasure of knowing for over a year, ever since I heard about her giving out free hugs on Columbus Circle. I reached out immediately. I was even more impressed when I heard that she had taken to Wall Street to donate coaching to the financial sector during the worst stretch of the crisis. In this post, she delivers some great insight on one of my favorite topics: How we hold ourselves back. And now, here's Kim:

KIMwallstcoachportraitThree Ways to Become More Successful, Today
By Kim Ann Curtin, CPCC, ACC

As a life and business coach, I see people limit their potential with fear of failure, limiting beliefs, and lack of perspective. Recognizing those feelings, bringing them out of the shadow and into the light, is the first step in creating a new paradigm for yourself. We need to learn how to “be" with them and forgive ourselves for having them. Once you’re there, creating new belief systems help us to rid ourselves of the old. Below are three behaviors that those that are living the life they want to really live practice regularly. They are at the top of my “Three Ways to Become More Successful” list.

• Be Willing to Strike Out And that means publicly. Have you ever seen a batter be so overly cautious that he doesn’t even swing? The only way to get a home run is to take a crack. Yes, striking out is embarrassing, but you are here to take that risk. My friend James really wanted to see the last Yankees game played at the old stadium and in spite of not having a ticket he flew in from Cali, stood outside the stadium and held a sign that said, “I need a miracle!” Without his willingness to fail, be ignored and not see the game, he never would have found himself standing behind home plate watching all the greats legends of baseball celebrated. And he got that ticket for 100 bucks!

• Don’t Be Stopped By No Sounds simple but this is where most people drop the ball. Do you get scared when you hear no? We learn at an early age that if we don’t heed the word, we experience unpleasant consequences. It’s time to re-wire that belief system. You are the authority of your life. You’re the one who says “no” or “yes.” So don’t get shut down by someone else’s red light. There’s always someone else to ask or another time to re-ask the same person. Keep asking until you get your yes - you only need one.

• Be “Over There” Focus your attention “over there,” on the other person’s needs and experience. It will set you apart from every one else. Years ago when I was a TV producer for a non-profit cable show I was asked to try and get an “impossible” interview with the much sought after then-editor of the Daily News, Pete Hamill. His first book out since his best seller, A Drinking Life, had just been released and every talk show wanted him. We had stiff competition and no budget to even send him a car. When I called his office his assistant put me on hold at least five times! I could hear her overwhelm. I put my focus “over there” so instead of telling her what I needed when she finally could talk, I asked, “Are you having a rough day?” After 10 minutes of me patiently listening to her vent, she put my interview at the top of her request list, above Good Morning America and The Today Show. Two weeks later we were taping the “impossible” interview.

We are the creators of our own success. Usually anytime you’re “stuck” it’s because you are lost in a perspective. Walk around it, get on top of it, and burrow below it. The solution lies in a different mindset than the one you have now. It’s up to you – with some help of trusted others – to create it!

Kim Ann Curtin, CPCC, ACC, is The Wall Street Coach. She coaches individuals and corporate teams from Wall Street to Main Street who want solutions and clarity.

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11 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. Thanks to Kim for the "over there" story! I have developed 21 ideas for delivering Client-Focused Mastery (CFM). These are surefire ways to thrive and prepare for the recovery.

    If anyone wants the list, let me know. Happy to share it.

    Lisa Nirell
    http://blog.energizegrowth.com

  2. So what's the line between not taking no for an answer and being disrespectful of others? If you keep asking, at what point do you go from assertive to obnoxious?

  3. Great insights, Kim. These days, many feel stuck in career ruts, exacerbated by the current economy. But getting out of such a rut requires the same things in a recession as in a recovery - believing in a new, better future.

    In conducting research for my new book, The Leap, we discovered many things, but above all, those who make the Leap first opened themselves up to their true potential.

    Rick Smith

  4. Livia: Great question. Where that line is drawn is unique to each of us and our situation. Of course one can go too far. This is when I recommend listening to your own instinct for direction. Actually tuning in to your body's response. (Some feel it in there stomach/gut.) Be still and quiet prior to your asking the question, "Is this too much?" Feeeel the answer. It takes time for us to learn how to "feel" what our best course of action is since most of our conditioning has been to "think" our answers. I've found it remarkable that my body more often than not seems to have remarkable wisdom. If I'm able to quiet some of my thinking long enough to hear it. Additionally having a trusted friend or mentor to run it past for a different point of view also helps us to asess what "too far" or "too much" might be.
    Let me know if this answers your question.

  5. Kim Congratulations !
    Great writing. Encouraging and İnspiring to read..

  6. Kim,

    Great post! I cannot begin to tell you how excited I was to see you on Keith’s blog. I am not sure if you remember me but, like Keith, I looked you up online after hearing about you on CNN.

    After reading “Who’s Got Your Back,” I acquired the courage to approach those who were wildly successful in a field that I had interest in. Immediately executing two of the four mindsets, vulnerability & candor, I telephoned your office and explained to you a challenge I was facing. You spent about 30 minutes with me on the telephone (at no charge) and provided me with some of the same wisdom that you posted today. The result? I am now passionately providing sales leaders with the coaching skills necessary to connect more intimately to their teams as well as their customers. The feedback has been fantastic!

    Keith is right when he says that most people are generous and want to see you succeed in life. Thank you for being a role model for us all. Should you ever find yourself in Atlanta on Peachtree Street, please let me know so that I may come out and give you a big hug like you do the folks in NYC. Before I close my post, let me ask you Kim …. How can I help you out?

  7. Kim, I really enjoyed your insight. As far as your comment on standing out, one wants to make sure they stand out in a positive way. How do you make sure that your standing out is remembered positively instead of as desperate, annoying, or worse? Do you just put yourself out there and react based on response and tone it down if necessary?

  8. David- It's so great to hear from you! I'm so happy and proud of you! You bet I will let you know if I'm ever in Atlanta. Let's stay in touch send me an email at Kim@TheWallStreetCoach.com. Warm regards, Kim

  9. Rex- On one hand I don't know that we have much control over how we stand out. I point people to look at their intention: Are you being desperate or pushy? I believe if we ask ourselves these questions we can stay on course. You want to be authentic at all times -that's the main thing. Keep in mind that who you are - might not be everyone's cup of tea. But everyone isn't meant to be your client or associate. I believe that when you are who you truly are you have a much better chance at drawing to yourself the perfect associate &/or client.

  10. Kim - Great post! I'd just like to add on your comment above to Rex where you stated:

    "when you are who you truly are you have a much better chance at drawing to yourself the perfect associate &/or client."

    This same concept applies to your career. When you are true to your passions and abilities you have a better chance at drawing to yourself the perfect career. When you try to fit yourself into a job that you think is more socially acceptable or that your parents imagined for you you will not be as successful.

  11. Great pointers Kim! It's like the universe sometimes tests us to see how bad we want something, and only when we've focused consistently do we get it!

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