Three Tips to Get the Most Out of a Mentor

Posted on January 27th, 2010 by Meghna Majmudar

meghnaisfabulousI used to think mentors had all the answers. If I just found the right one, my life would become so much easier. That all changed last year, when I went through a long job search looking for the “right fit” (and happily landed at Ferrazzi Greenlight!).

I had many people help me in unexpected ways: an Intel executive I met in business school, the managing partner of my old firm, and even a couple of ex-clients. They didn’t offer me answers, instead they shared knowledge and gave input based on their experience. They didn’t have a magical key to unlock the door to my next job …but they felt along the wall with me, until I found the right door and unlocked it myself.

From this experience, I learned the following lessons:

1.    Mentorship starts with generosity…and vulnerability. Yes, there is the gift of time from the mentor, but equally important is being vulnerable and sharing where you really need help.

2.   Be specific about the feedback and input you want. Don’t just ask the mentor to “help” you, share the specific questions you are struggling with so that the advice you receive is immediately useful.

3.   Stay in touch. Let your mentor know how things are going from time to time. I try to stay in touch every with an e-mail or hand-written card every 2-3 months – this way, if you need their help again, you won’t feel awkward or have to catch them up on everything!

Any tips you’ve found helpful for finding and keeping mentors?

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8 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. Meghna, thanks for sharing your experience with mentors. As a young person entering the vast field of commercial real estate, I've found that having a great mentor is critical to success.

    One tip I've learned is that you have to show your passion towards your field which will justify your mentors help. You don't want to your mentor to feel as though you're wasting his time. Therefore, preparation and general curiosity towards a given career is a necessity.

    • Hi Joe - totally agree. When you are thoughtful and energetic - that is very attractive to a mentor and definitely gets them more interested in helping you

  2. There's an old quote I remember:

    "The path to the correct conclusion begins with asking the correct questions."

    This applies equally to mentorship. Getting the most out of a mentor relationship requires the protege to be armed with the right questions. Start there and you will be amazed at how far it gets you.

    Kind Regards,

    Jonathan Hilley

  3. Meghna

    This is some great advice.

    I am usually the one doing the mentoring. Very often I am presented with the general help request that is not specific. It is much easier for me to help you solve problems that are specific than it is to just give you a plan that you may not want to follow.

    It's also important to be invested in your mentor as much as they are invested in you. This could be something as simple as commenting on their blog :-) or retweeting messages once in a while. It could be as demanding as helping them organize events. Either way, those people get more of my attention than the ones who just show up when they need help :-)

    • Brad - I am slowly transitioning into the phase of being a mentor as well, and sometimes it is a little shocking when people don't do their homework or do the legwork to determine what they really want. I'm starting to treat some of my mentors as peers and friends, and it's so energizing!

  4. Meghna- great insights and great post! I agree with your insights and suggestions, and would emphasize the importance of vulnerability in approaching/working with a mentor. In addition, some points from Keith's points also apply here:
    - do your homework, both with regard to learning about your mentor in advance (to whatever extent possible you can collect information on their background, interests, worldview) and preparing in advance for conversations you have with them (eg, key questions you want to ask, ideas or situations you want to talk through to get advice on)
    - consider what value-add you can provide to them. Reciprocity is not limited to peers or personal relationships. If you think hard, there are ways you can bring value to your mentor(s), even if they are much older than you, more financially established, or better connected. A few examples: you may know a contact or resource they would benefit from being introduced to, they may be struggling with a different area of their life (eg, health/fitness or relationships) where you can offer good ideas/support, or even something as simple as sharing some interesting food or music from your experiences that they may not have had access to otherwise.

    Thanks for the insights, Meghna, and I look forward to seeing more guest posts from you in the future! :)

  5. I would have to agree with the last point. I am in constant contact with my mentor far after our session has completed. He has been a pillar in my success and I strongly believe that it's because of our constant communication.

    M

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