What a great way to motivate people. Contact Karen at karen at notsalmon.com. To see all of her posters check out her blog at notsalmon.com.

Which of these posters is your favorite?

Lesson #4: Transparency can be a saving grace.

Were you wondering when I'd get to talking about fidelity?  For years a friend of mine has had relationships with women outside of his marriage. He has always spoken to me of his wife as if they had nothing in common and didn't speak the same language at all; just co-habitants in the "dream home" he built.

We had dinner one night on this trip to Asia and I expected to hear more of the same. Instead I heard the story of a reconciled couple.  He didn't talk about the waitress, or his latest "girlfriend," but was honoring their relationship with respect and love for the woman he now saw as his true partner.

"What made the difference?" I asked. "We had a conversation," he told me. It started with him sharing his hope for a different future in which they were real partners. He didn't focus on what they didn't have but on what he thought they could.  And he listened. She shared similarly.  Over time, more was shared – including his indiscretions. Neither the world nor the relationship came crashing down. Their "conversations" had built a foundation of hope and trust again for the future.

As we head into the new year, do you have any relationships in need of redefinition?  Any conversations you have not had the courage to have?  Let's start opening ourselves up to hope for what could be. Then, listen with intent and wait for silence to figure out what you will say next.

Check out parts one, two, and three.

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To learn more about our service vacations to Guatemala, China, England... search "orphan" on this blog.  (A special thanks to Emlyn Lee at www.CulturalEmbrace.com for her support and arrangements around these trips for us!)

To Contribute to these amazing kids even the 20 bucks will change their lives meaningfully go here.

To join us in Guatemala in the spring with your family or work team, respond to kf@ferrazzigreenlight.com.

This is a four-part series sharing lessons in joy, success, and even fidelity, that I brought back with me from a 2-week service trip to Thailand and Cambodia at the close of 2010.

Lesson #3: Your fate is not controlled by the prejudice of others.

Happiness is in you and those you choose to hear. I was reminded of this while visiting an organization called Baan Gerda. In Thailand, there is still a huge stigma against those with AIDS. Baan Gerda was founded by a German chemical executive stationed in Thailand, and started out as a place to take care of orphans dying of the disease – to give them love, respect, and comfort in their last days. These kids’ parents had all died from AIDS, and passed the disease to the children at birth.  Their relatives had typically dropped them at mass centers where they would die untouched, unloved, and uncared for.

Then as new drugs came along, Baan Gerda’s mission changed to helping find a way for these children to live beautiful, productive lives.  And they do.  The story is amazingly told in a movie yet to premier. You can watch a trailer of the film and buy the DVD at the website www.livingwiththetiger.com. (If you have any way to help the movie maker bring the movie and story to the world, let us know.)

As I met with Baan Gerda’s director, Mike Thomas, I was struck as he told me about the children’s active decision to lead normal lives despite so much prejudice against them. Their decision to look to a future when they can marry and live productively among society. How did they find the strength, I wondered?

I think I saw the answer as I watched these children in their daily routines.  They are actively serving others – they volunteer to help the elderly and they care for new children entering their home, many of whom are very sick because medicine hasn’t been available.  At so many orphanages, I’ve seen children saving their food to give to others. Generosity is healing, even when we have almost nothing.

These children gave me hope that we can stand tall in the face of others who’d like to tell us who we are and what we can become. I'm the first one to advocate listening to feedback, but I'm also the first to support your right to listen or not if you feel you have been thorough in your own self-assessment. Then find those who will feed you toward the direction your heart knows you should go, as the kids at Baan Gerda have.

Check out parts one and two.

Here is a quick excerpt:

Through my work with both seasoned and rising leaders, I’ve concluded that executive success depends on a process of picking up and letting go.  There are sets of behaviors that executives need to pick up and let go of when they take on bigger jobs and the new expectations that go with them.   Over the years, I’ve developed and tested a model of leadership that breaks these pick up and let go behaviors into three types of leadership presence – personal, team and organizational.  The model looks like this:

For the go-to person leader, picking up is the easier part of the process.  The go-to folks are bright people.  They learn quickly.  Picking up new skills is usually a cognitive challenge.  What’s more challenging is the letting go.  That’s an emotional hurdle because now you’re facing letting go of some of the very behaviors that made you successful on your way up.

Go to http://bit.ly/thenextlevelbook to learn more about the book.

What did you have to learn (and possibly give up) to become successful.

Subj: THIS WEEK AT RMA: A Mission Results in a $250K Sale!

More wins to report this week… Hats off to [...] who scored another job lead during her Mission 10 Dinner. [...] reconnected with an old contact during Mission 4's LinkedIn campaign, which lead to a new business acquisition that should boost his company’s sales by 25 percent this year. And last but not least: someone who took our survey reported a $250K sale resulting from his or her RMA Missions!! WHO ARE YOU, MYSTERY SALESPERSON? Please shoot Alex (afradkin@ferrazzigreenlight.com) an email so she can get your story!

Need ideas or inspiration for your Lesson 10 Long, Slow Dinner? See what others are planning.

NEW LESSONS OPEN!
Develop and Broadcast Your Personal Brand and Align Your Network to Activate Your Most Important Relationships are open – create a great elevator pitch and build the ultimate force projection for your network by lining up anchor tenants and ambassadors. Time to work the program – those who finish by Aug. 19 are eligible for our RMA Idol Contest!
[DIVE INTO THE LESSONS HERE!]

WEEKLY CALL: THE SECRET TO TOP PERFORMANCE
This week’s call is How to Launch a Feet-to-the-Fire Accountability Groups that Won't Let you Fail! By popular demand, RMA Coach David Mish shares tips to structure, execute, and maintain a powerful mastermind group, either in-person or virtually – and also downloads some of his RMA Lifeline Group's incredible results! ACCOUNTABILITY and PEER COACHING are SIGNIFICANT success factors in long-term behavioral change and mega-performance – don't miss out on this opportunity to create competitive edge.
[ASK QUESTIONS AND GET INFO HERE]

THIS WEEK'S CONTEST: JUST DO IT! CALLING ALL AUDACIOUS RMAERS
Keith wrote in NEA, “Mustering the audacity to talk with people who don’t know me often simply comes down to balancing the fear I have of embarrassment against the fear of failure and its repercussions… I either ask or I’m not successful.” Help us all carpe diem by sharing an audacious moment in your own career or life path. The prize? A gift card to...
[CLICK TO SEE THE PRIZE AND ENTER]

COMMUNITY NEWS: QUICK HITS
*Help Wanted: Nicole Lisa needs tips on approaching her Big Kahuna at a book signing. Weigh in.
*Vision Boards: The Course II Lesson 1 mission report thread is full of raves from people who’ve finished their vision boards. Skeptics, take a look.
*Yet More Vision Boards: Check out the vision boards of John Boudreau and Ann Yakimovicz. Hit “reply” on Ann’s post and add your own when you get to Course II!

KEITH’S HERO: SCOTT ZIMMERMAN
Televox President (and father to twins!) Scott Zimmerman demonstrated the spontaneous, quick-thinking generosity we seek to cultivate in RMA this past Thursday by creating a one-page reference sheet for Thursday’s call with Steph Vora, Yes, You CAN Learn Charisma. Hang it in your office to keep the five social behavioral drivers at top of mind so that you can help others – and yourself – feel at ease. Thanks Scott! Get Scott’s reference page here – or download the call itself here.

RMA 101: DID YOU KNOW…
You can read a user’s collected mission reports by clicking on one of the stars in their profile? It’s a great way to check out whether someone might be a good accountability buddy match for you.

Best,
Sara Grace
Community Director
Relationship Masters Academy

“We hold this truth as self-evident: our lives, work, and well-being are interdependent. Everything and everyone is — or can be — connected.” – Charles J. Palus

I would say more but I'm about to pass out from heat exposure - it's like a medieval moat in NY today - so instead I'll move onto this week's links:

• Get Found on LinkedIn: Andrea, who works in marketing for RMA, sent me this video -- she watched it and said it's worth ponying up your time and your email to learn how to optimize your profile with keywords so that more people find you. Thanks Andrea!
• The Daily Huddle: Peter Osborne won the weekly RMA contest with his accountability tip on how he created incredible results by instituting a SCRUM-like 20-minute morning huddle with his team. The link takes you to the write-up on his own blog.
• Learn to Set Boundaries: Jan Shepard was featured in Who's Got Your Back as the woman who helped coach Keith's sister Karen to lose weight and kick diabetes. I liked her blog on HuffPo which reminds us that yes, you CAN say no. Rescuing people isn't your job in life.

Share your own links with me anytime! sgrace at ferrazzigreenlight - com.

Now, LINKS:

• Not relationship-related, but important: This site shows you the area of the BP oil spill superimposed on a map of your region. Thanks to @heymarci for the link.
• @alisonbzz, who's in charge of Keith's relationship management at Ferrazzi Greenlight, sent me this great piece on why getting personal gets you the job.

• Need a gift last minute? Text it! Thanks to Tanja O for the link.
• How to Be an Expert without Being an Ass. Loved this piece from social media expert Amber Naslund, who I used to read frequently but had forgotten about until user experience expert/social media enthusiast Shelley Long mentioned her on an RMA call.

While I was in LA I had the pleasure of going to one of Keith's dinner parties and was reminded - the man knows how to host a great dinner! We played the question game. Mine: describe my most embarrassing moment. I blurted out the first thing that came to mind: Showing up to a birthday party at age 8 or so, in my fancy party dress, and finding out the party wasn't until next weekend.

Now, the important stuff, links:

• First, a shout out for Lisa Earl McLeod's FREE SUMMER WEBINAR SERIES, Grow Your Business (without giving up your life). Lisa is the author of the awesome book on conflict resolution, Triangle of Truth, and I highly recommend you register for one or all of the three calls in the series.
• RMAer Michael Fox shared this Bloomberg BusinessWeek article on the importance of connecting with colleagues the forums - check it out!
• If you thought you didn't have anything to learn from Chuck Norris, you'd be wrong!

UPDATE: I neglected to mention that you can still slide on into Pilot II and avoid the Sept price increase - but get on it quickly so that you can catch up with people who started  June 14!

Emily Campbell is a “recovering lawyer” who has a passion for helping others in the legal profession to reach their goals.  She recently co-taught a session on networking at the NY City Bar and plans to use her RMA experience to learn to "go deep" on relationships and bring this knowledge to her network of lawyers and eventually to the next firm that she works with.  Welcome, Emily!

Debbie Peters has a background in insurance and financial services.  She has been studying for her insurance broker’s license and read Never Eat Alone as part of her training program.  Debbie is working on her career search with her own personal board of directors, who offer support and varied perspectives, which are helping Debbie to see new opportunities. Welcome, Debbie!

Andrew Herrnstein has been utilizing skills he learned in “A Simple 5-Step Program to Land Your Dream Job in 2010,” a webinar Keith hosted several months ago, and is exploring ways to broaden his relationship skills and personal knowledge in order to follow his dreams and find that perfect fit job. Welcome, Andrew!

Walt Ford used his own personal and professional network to recover from huge setbacks in his cleaning business, and also to launch a new venture where he teaches other the skills they need to effectively nurture and grown their own relationships.  Welcome, Walt!

Mark D.Radtke has faced professional and physical challenges over the past five years.  Now that he is on the path to recovery, he is ready to get back to work and looks forward to improving the relationships with the people he feels he has disappointed and becoming a very productive member of his community. Mark has stepped up the generosity by offering to fund future scholarships to RMA once he is back at work, and to use his talents to help those in need.  Welcome, Mark!

RMA’s Pilot II starts on Monday. I, for one, am excited to meet and start working with the scholarship winners and all of the other amazing people who have signed up to participate. Taking everyone on this journey is such an amazing opportunity for all of us – thanks to those who are a part!

One final plug, I can't stop myself: This pilot is great opportunity to take Keith's program for a fraction of what it will cost in September. There's no better time than summer to take what is essentially a fitness camp for your relationships.  Do it!

Now, links:

• Help RMA's Digital Director Craig Leinoff: He needs 45 secs of your time to cheer for him in the Livestrong Virtual Tour; he's riding in the name of his mom, who's fighting cancer. Go here: http://bit.ly/c3vzvC .

• Are you an asker or a guesser? This article will tell you - and might just be the key to solving all your communication troubles. Or at the very least, 20%.
• From Forbes, best answers to awkward interview questions. Thanks to @alisonbzz for the link!

Have a great weekend all!