A common reaction I get when I teach people my relationship building system is, “My schedule’s killing me! And now you want me to fit in all these pings and calls and meetings and dinners and…?”

Here are my favorite tips for making all those important relationship building activities fit inside the schedule you already have – no add-ons! Read more →

29 comments // In Time Management

Curtsy while you're thinking. It saves time. – the Queen of Hearts

How do I meet everyone I want to meet during the course of a week? Someone once remarked cynically, “I’d have to clone myself to take all the meetings you take.”

“Ah, you’re onto something,” I responded. “I don’t clone myself. I clone the event.”

Here’s what I mean. Say I’m in NY for two days with three people I want to see and only one available time slot. I solve the problem by “cloning” the dinner – I invite all of them to join me at once. Each of them gets benefit from knowing the others, and I get the opportunity to catch up with all of them. If I need some one-on-one, I'll ask that person to come a little early or stay a little late.

Some specific ideas to guide your cloning:

1. Multitask: Constantly look for ways to include others in what you’re doing. Sometimes I’ll take potential employees for a workout and conduct the interview over a run. As a makeshift staff meeting, I’ll occasionally ask a few employees to share a car ride with me to the airport. Like so many, I couldn't do what I do without multitasking.
2. Think prophylactic: Cloning is a good way to ensure that a meeting or get together is worthwhile. When meeting someone whom you don’t know that well, invite someone you do know just to make sure the meeting doesn't become a waste of time.
3. Invite Mentees: They’ll get a special kick out of sitting in on meetings — and it can be a great learning opportunity. It gets them face time with you and a chance to see business in action — as long as you make sure your reason for the meeting gets accomplished. In most cases, the kid ends up contributing something to the meeting as well. Don’t underestimate young people’s ability to find creative new insight.
4. Be selective: Pay special attention to the chemistry between various people in your professional network. Do you have a sense of who will get on well with each other? It doesn’t mean that everyone has to have the same background and sensibility. In fact, a nice mix of different professions and personalities can be the perfect recipe for a terrific gathering. Trust your instincts, or use this question as a litmus test: Will I have fun? If the answer is yes, that is usually a good sign that the dynamic will work.

A question about this last point: How many of you are like George "World's colliding" Costanza - wary of mixing different personal/professional groups?

2 comments // In Time Management

At the gym, I’m lazy.

As you may imagine, I have very little free time.  I pack my schedule with speeches, appointments and calls virtually around the clock.  I’m a bit of an extreme case, but let’s face it – all of us have very busy lives.   The time I schedule for my workout is some of the only personal time I have during the day, and I want to make the most of it.

That's why I outsource my workout.  I find a cool gym in the area and hire personal trainers or attend an intense instructor-led class, such as Barry’s Bootcamp, which I especially like because it’s so social.  Working with a trainer allows me to workout at a level far beyond what I would be capable of on my own. It’s very difficult for me to push myself to the brink of exhaustion when I’m performing at that level the rest of the day. Plus its relaxing to let go and let someone else take charge.

I know hiring a personal trainer isn’t an option for most of us, but budgeting in a gym membership with nationwide locations is.  Often times your company will even pay for it!  If you’re traveling, check out – or have your personal assistant check out – what classes are available while you’re in town during the time you have free. Then, add even more value to that our by inviting someone to join you!  Sharing a workout is a great way to get to know a person in a new and intimate (admittedly sweaty) way.

Here are some gyms that have nationwide locations and national gym membership options.

EQUINOX (www.equinox.com)
GOLD’S GYM (www.goldsgym.com)
LA FITNESS (www.lafitness.com)
BALLY’S (www.ballyfitness.com)

7 comments // In Time Management

So when I posted earlier this week about the joys of tweeting on the tour, I promised a post on the exhausting side of twitter.

Twitter and I have a paradoxical relationship. I love being so closely and intimately connected to my community. But I sometimes become exhausted by the fact that Twitter never sleeps and never stops pinging me.  It can be overly demanding, and sometimes tedious.  Please don’t misinterpret – I don’t mean that I find any one of my friends ON Twitter to be demanding, but rather the service itself.

Twitter operates in real time.  I tend to schedule my communications and process them in batches, usually on the plane.  Twitter is an ongoing conversation that doesn't pause for breath.  If I’m not monitoring it constantly, it’s easy for replies and conversations to get lost and buried. It’s easy to stay connected when I’m not that busy, but that's.... hardly ever. I have important emails to respond to and am rarely in front of a computer.  All I have is my UberTwitter on my Blackberry, and that only displays so many recent replies… I’m only able to see the last 20 replies from whatever time I’m available to check my Twitter.  Everything else gets buried.

Where's the balance? Any advice is appreciated. Guy?

This is a theme I’m experiencing in transitioning to new social media methods of communication: I love the increased intimacy, but am exhausted by the maintenance each new medium requires.  I have a Facebook fan page, a Facebook profile page to communicate with close friends, a LinkedIn account, Twitter account, Plaxo, Youtube, Flickr… the list goes on.  I know entrepreneurs are hustling to find a solution to this obvious problem and when they do, I want to be the first to know!

What I’m looking for - more immediately - is advice on how to handle the real time communication demands of Twitter amongst the rest of my time commitments and responsibilities. What's the best way to set expectations and fulfill them? I don’t want to alienate anyone, but it’s impossible for me to respond to everyone.  And it’s also tough for me to keep track of people with their handles and not using real names.

Advice that I have for anyone trying to contact me – or anyone else for that matter – on Twitter is to ping me multiple times (without getting frustrated!  Remember Never Eat Alone…).  The more I see you in my Twitter stream the more likely I am to respond.

As always, your thoughts and advice are very much appreciated.

5 comments // In Time Management

Sunset View from My Deck

I tweeted earlier today about not leaving behind the daily joy of vacation time once you go back to work - meaningful to me today as I swing back into tour mode (Boston, come see me tonight!) after two weeks of amazing R&R.

So how to maintain that sense of calm and control once you're back into the 9-5  (or 9-9)?

1. Build margins into your schedule. Don't block your entire day back to back, with zero chance for a spontaneous 10 minute walk, a workout, or five minutes to reflect. Even a few minutes of free time can make you feel like you're running your life, instead of your life running you.

2. Take lunch with a friend. We high-achievers tend to throw ourselves into our work, and though the focus is thrilling, it also can be draining over time. So force yourself to think about something beyond work - yes, even though you're insanely busy because you're just back from vacation.

3. Post a pic from Shangri-la at at your desk. It sounds obvious, but an image  of your happiest vacation moment (even if its just with the fam in your backyard) can ground you if you feel yourself starting to spin. It worked for Jamie Foxx in Collateral - and he hadn't even taken the vacation yet.

Here's to a productive week!

3 comments // In Time Management

“No time” is what people tell me all the time when I tell them they need to get serious about creating more and deeper relationships. “I have enough trouble keeping my wife/kids/boss/houseplants happy. Now you want me to make the list longer?”

YES! Here’s how to make it happen, for all you busy (whiny!) high-powered professionals.

1.    Prioritize. Once you recognize that relationships are to success as food is to survival, you’d be surprised how much easier it gets to find time for them.

2.    Blend not balance. Tired of feeling work is crowding out your personal life? Blend them by recognizing that every single one of your business relationships could also be personal relationships.

3.     Stop compartmentalizing. Don’t be afraid to mix your friends up. Say, for example, you’re in New York for only a night. Instead of playing eeny-meeny-miny-mo to decide which of your contacts to meet, have a dinner and invite them all! Don’t worry too much if they’re from different worlds – a little shake-up from new people and new perspectives is good for everyone!

4.    Get more out of meetings. So many of us waste so much of the relationship time we do set aside by smothering ourselves with small talk. Take steps to build closer relationships faster – talk about your passions, be candid, let people know how you really feel. (Remember the Eight Steps to Instant Intimacy from Who’s Got Your Back!)

8 comments // In Time Management

1. People pay attention.
2. It communicates that their job for that period of time is to connect with each other. Period.
3. People’s mindsets shift away from “business as usual” and they're better prepared to think creatively.

This can go for meetings but also for other events - dinner parties for example. Unless you have friends who are doctors, they can take an hour off the crackberry.

1 comment // In Time Management