The FG NY office's snowy window.

Greetings from snowy NYC. Keith's in town! He's here for an engagement at the NY Stock Exchange, and to spend time with the online Relationship Masters Academy crew. So many of you have signed up information on joining the charter class - thank you! Very inspiring and exciting for us. We'll be communicating with you about it soon.

This week in links:

• Don't deal with a job transition alone! From The NY Times, a wonderfully honest story about the importance of turning to trusting advisors when you've got big decisions to make. The author writes, "Everyone who’s laid off should find someone they trust and sit down and talk. You can’t think things through by yourself, especially when you have a family. You have too much going on mentally. You need someone who cares enough to listen, but is not in the thick of it the way you are."
• For Email Marketers: A creative, relationship-centric approach to getting people to rethink unsubscribing.
• Touch me! I've got to hit one more from the Times (when in Rome...): Students who received a supportive touch on the back or arm from a teacher were nearly twice as likely to volunteer in class as those who did not, according to one of the studies in this article on the power of touch.
• Technology works! I'm always amazed by technophobes who worry about technology isolating us. So I enjoyed relationship-savvy salesman-entrepreneur Andy Ellwood's story, on his personal blog, about using an iPhone app to bridge a language barrier.
• From the Lighter Side: An over-privileged business school student gets taken down.

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I love this week's links, so I'm just going to launch right into them:

• Shut the lizard up! Great advice from marketing tribe leader (and author of Tribes) Seth Godin on moving past fear to be creative and PRODUCE.

• Improve Your Team's Progress: Zynga CEO Mark Pincus talks about venture capitalist John Doerr's "OKR" routine, a "simple organizing principle that keeps people focused on the three things that matter — not the 10." We like it and are going to try it out around here.

• The Art of Presentations: I got a lot out of Jon Thomas' free ebook, "10 Techniques for More Effective Presentations" (get it on his blog). In fact, I found myself quoting it on the phone as I gave a freelancer notes on the slides he's creating for me. One tip I especially liked was "Understand the Cognitive Load Theory" - the idea that the amount of information presented to the brain must be at a minimum during the learning process.

Bloggers, send me your best relationship-success related links! Readers, send me the best thing you've read all week. I'd love to share it here.  I'm at sgrace at ferrazzigreenlight dot com.

Also, if you go check out any of the above, I'd like to hear your thoughts and discuss in the comments.

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What a week: We are working like maniacs around here, pulling together material for Keith's online Relationship Masters Academy that you'll be hearing about more soon! It's going to be a crazy few months. Otherwise put, employee engagement will be high, very high.

Now, links:

• Special Needs, Special Kids: First if you haven't seen Keith's video from the orphanage he visited in Shanghai, you've got to. It'll bring a smile to your face, but also conveys a serious message: These kids need help!

• Brilliant productivity tip: Make NOT-to-do lists. Thank you Life Hacker. Disguised procrastination and time-sucks, be gone!

• Facebook Fail: The Desperate Marketer, The Event Coordinator, The Horrible Photo Tagger... any avid Facebooker will recognize these unpleasant behavioral profiles immediately. Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem! Hat tip to @jsupermurray for the link.

• DIY Overload: Copyblogger reminds entrepreneurs not to shoot themselves in the foot by thinking they have to go it alone. Think bigger, think abundance, and cultivate great partnerships!

And so I leave you with Keith's favorite motto: "Let others help!"

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Hello all. I've been working out of New York this week and watching all the usual tropes about LA vs. NYC etiquette come to life. It's definitely time for me to go home when I roll over some woman's foot with my suitcase and instead of apologizing, feel irritated that she didn't move her foot out of my way.

Now, on to today's links....

Hope 2.0: Can our nation thrive without empathy? Arianna Huffington says no; empathy is how we create the conditions for change. We at Ferrazzi Greenlight wholeheartedly agree. Thanks to FG's CEO Bo Manning for circulating this link.

Pursue the Passion: Brett Farmiloe blogs on the creative process behind his book, Pursue the Passion, which grew out of a 16,ooo mile bus trip to interview people who were passionate about their work.

From Volunteer to Employee: Read how others have done it. Hat tip to career columnist @heymarci for the link.

Dealing with the Silent Treatment: Sound advice from HBR - reach out once then let it go.

Anger Management: Psychology Today thin slices anger so you can identify its source and deal with it appropriately.

Finally, an announcement: Next week we'll be introducing a regular Wednesday guest to Keith's blog, Meghna Majmudar, who runs Keith's team cohesion consultancy in NY. Tune in!

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We are all aflutter at KF.com this week because we sold our first ever product, Keith's webinar on landing your dream job! Thank you to all who have purchased - and don't forget, we want your feedback! In other site news, we finally got our "Team Bios" page up, so go there if you're curious to see who the heck (besides Keith) is making this here web site run.

Now, onto this week's links...

• SAY NO WITH GRACE: Thank you, thank you Michael Hyatt for this set of email templates to help us all say no with grace - and for the reminder that, yes, you can!

• GIVE GREAT EMAIL: People sometimes compare Keith's work to that of Neil Strauss, author of The Game, the book about how he infiltrated the notorious Seduction community and became the biggest pick-up artist of them all. (Hear that? It's the sound of one hand clapping...) So I laughed when I was Googling for quality links on email etiquette and got this article from a seduction guy, Meet Women Online – 4 Things Each Successful Email Must Contain. Believe it or not, the key advice there is universally useful for great emails. (Depending on where you work, link may be NSFW because it's got a lingerie shot.)

• EMRACE AND: Lisa Earle McLeod's book The Triangle of Truth, which Keith heartily endorsed, landed on my desk this week. I love her first principle: "Embrace And. Lift your mind above either/or instincts to embrace the full flawed and fabulous duality of the human condition."

• NO LIMIT FOR BETTER: Some quick inspiration from Indiana Jones, via Dan Pink.

That's it! Remember, you can send link recommendations to me me at sgrace at ferrazzigreenlight dot com - all relationships, all the time!

Now for today's question, if anyone has time for Friday discussion as they wrap up their work and head into the weekend: Thoughts on saying 'no.' Have you ever said no to a request and regretted it? Knowing that we all like to be generous with our time and resources, how do you know when to help and when to back away slowly?

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One week into 2010! Hope everyone's off to a good start. I came across sooo many good links this week, it made me feel like everyone started the new year refreshed and full of energy.

Onto the links...

• The Worst Sales Letter Ever from Mark Cuban made me laugh.

• Want to geek out on how networks form? Check out this fascinating post at The Network Thinker.
• Being driven crazy by your boss? Read this. I'm not sure it will help, but it's an interesting discussion of the Peter Principle.
• Solid tips on effective networking online from Mashable.

• Love prevails: Penelope Trunk has returned to pastoral bliss! I've been rooting for her. The experience produced another great blog post, How to Make Yourself More Likeable. Who doesn't need that advice?

• Seven lessons for job hunters from Jay Hofmeister. The post comes from his experience in the trenches of 2009, and kindly mentions Keith. Thanks Jay!

• SERVE! Hopefully you caught some of Keith's blogs about Guatemala. Here's a blog about his experience from Cultural Embrace's Emlyn Lee. She planned the trip and will be overseeing FG's future efforts to help the kids of Guatemala. Check it out and consider your own service vacation!
• A couple books to check out. The Neurobiology of "We": How Relationships, the Mind, and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are offers yet more perspective on how our relationships influence our brain. Wired to Care: How Companies Prosper When They Create Widespread Empathy has a title that speaks for itself.

See you next week!

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Announcing! My Top 20 list of the web's best relationship insights.

Here's this years list. Many of these authors are friends, some I know as acquaintances, and a few I have yet to meet. All are wonderfully gifted writers and thinkers, and I hope you take the time to read some these great posts as the year winds down.

The following list of The Top 20 Relationship Posts of 2009 is in no particular order:

When Harvard Teaches Networking, They Use Her As A Role Model – with Heidi Roizen
Mixergy, Andrew Warner
Good friend and expert interviewer Andrew Warner interviews Heidi Roizen - maybe the only other person that can rival my ability to throw a dinner party You don't want to miss this interview. (VIDEO)

The Popularity Factor
Think Simple Now, Tina Su
An excellent post on likeability. I'm always excited to see this topic written about because it's the harsh truth of the world: being likeable gives you the edge. Period. Tina recognizes this and gives us tactical advice on how to gosh-darnit-make-people-like-us.

The Double Opt-In Introduction
A VC, Fred Wilson
Fred is a brilliant venture capitalist at Union Square Ventures. In this post, he advises,"When introducing two people who don't know each other, ask each of them to opt-in to the introduction before making it." I don't think this rule is always necessary, but there are times when it's a must.

WHO WHAT HOW MUCH
gary vay•ner•chuk, Gary Vaynerchuk
Social Media Superstar Gary Vaynerchuk reminds us it’s not what you know, it’s not who you know, it’s how much time you spend with who you know. Build authentic relationships with people - don't just "know" them. (VIDEO)

9 Questions To See If You Are Caring ENOUGH
tompeters!, Rajesh Setty
In Who's Got Your Back I talk about the CHOICE to care as a prerequisite for making real connections. Rajesh Setty guest posts on my friend Tom Peters' blog about this very topic. Read this as a litmus test to see if you are, in fact, caring enough.

How to lead in the new millennium
Brazen Careerist, Penelope Trunk
Penelope may be the best career blogger out there. This post hits home as I interact with the many leaders, and leadership styles, within Ferrazzi Greenlight. Penelope offers 5 solid tips to help you lead in the millennial world.

What Facebook Can't Give You
WSJ.com, Katherine Rosman
Katherine made my day with this touching story about an "old school" Lifeline Group that used to meet at the Harvard Club in midtown Manhattan and discuss life. 52 years later, they're doing the same thing. Thanks to Michael Dill for sharing this with me.

Help Me Help You - Simple Tips on Making Targeted Asks
Charles Hudson's Weblog, Charles Hudson
My father once told me "never be afraid to ask; the worst anyone can say is no." Charles Hudson reminds us of this and even helps us figure out how to ask correctly.

Why relationship building is strategic to your bizlife
Sanders Says, Tim Sanders
Friend Tim Sanders discusses why relationship building is strategic to business. I want to say "duh!", but the truth is not everyone realizes this. As always, Tim does an excellent job reminding us how important relationships are to our success.

Evolution: The Eight Stages Of Listening
Web Strategist, Jeremiah Owyang
Jeremiah runs the blog on web strategy. In this post, he explains how companies - and individuals - should "listen" to the conversations happening right now about them on the web in order to best connect with their customers and community.

How to Get More From Your Mentor
Great On the Job, Jodi Glickman
Jodi provides sage advice on how to connect better with your mentor - or anyone for that matter.

How To Build Relationships Via Email: We Talk To Chris Guillebeau
Aweber, Justin Premick
Fascinating interview on building relationships with your customers through email marketing. I love that Aweber is interviewing one of their own customers on this one. (VIDEO)

‘Don’t burn bridges’ is bad career advice
Modite, Rebecca Thorman
This is one of two articles I'm including in this list offering a case that it's OK to "burn bridges," dissolve relationships, or even create enemies. I don't agree with everything Rebecca says, but she explains her perspective eloquently.

Facebook, Virtual Proximity, and the Meaning of Relationships
All Facebook, Kristen Nicole
Kristen explores the authenticity of relationships built on Facebook. She argues that we are all now so close in virtual proximity that relationships we would normally not pursue at all happen by default on Facebook (think birthday wishes). Great thought piece - I encourage you to weigh in.

Maintaining Networking Momentum After You Land the Job
Personal Branding Blog, Liz Lynch
Liz provides some of the most practical relationship building advice on this list. Fantastic tips here - READ THIS ARTICLE!

The Benefits of Pissing People Off
The Blog of Tim Ferriss, Tim Ferriss
This is the other of the two articles I'm featuring concluding that damaging certain relationships can be helpful - and even critical - to your success. This one comes from my friend and brilliant colleague, Tim Ferriss.

Ramit’s Inbox: An email from a very confused guy who can’t find a job
I Will Teach You To Be Rich, Ramit Sethi
I met Ramit during my book tour and let me tell you - he is one sharp guy. Representing the world of personal finance, Ramit reviews an email exchange from an overzealous reader looking for advice. Ramit echos one of my strongest principles from Never Eat Alone: "Build it Before You Need It."

7 deadly sins of networking, and how to avoid them
Shine (Yahoo!), Marci Alboher
I really like to see when people admit their faults and share what they've learned from them. I just did a video about my mistakes on Twitter. Thanks, Marci, for your authenticity and for sharing your wisdom - many of your posts could have made this list.

9 Things to Do To Make Sure Your Next Blog Post is Read by More than Your Mom
Problogger, Darren Rowse
Community Building is becoming more critical to success these days, and Darren provides great tips on promoting our personal brand online.

Usable Insight – Managing Expectations
The Website of Dr. Mark Goulston, Dr. Mark Goulston
Mark is a very good friend of mine, an FG associate, and an insightful thought leader. In this post, he discusses one of the most important elements to every healthy relationship: setting and managing expectations.

I can't read everything on the Interwebs, so please share with me your favorite relationship posts of 2009. If you feel like one of your posts should be on this list, add it in the comments! I'll be sure to read all of your recommendations.

Here's to a year of fresh insights in 2010!!

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Rainy week and a rainbow sighting here at Ferrazzi headquarters in LA. Keith's been in New York all week - he's been posting some great pics on Twitter (who caught him riding the mechanical bull?).

This week in links:

• "What are the tiniest adjustments in our lives that would make the greatest difference?" When Keith asked his Facebook community that question, I was stunned at the quality of the answers. Check it out! (And become his fan while you're at it...)
• From Lifehack, Seven Great Questions to Ask in a Job Interview. Always good to remind the interviewer that it's not only about them picking you - you need to decide whether to pick them! Yes, even in this economy.

• Want to know how to get a real-life human being as quickly as possible on a customer service line? Here's your all-purpose resource - super cool! (Thanks to David Wakefield for the link.)

• Peter Bregman blogs HBP on the key to behavior change - just pick one thing! Reminded me immediately of the chapter in Who's Got Your Back, "Pick one!"

Peter cut sugar. What behavior will you pick - or should you pick?

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Productive post-Thanksgiving week, I hope? Here at KF.com we're looking forward to our holiday party tonight - bowling and karaoke. Maybe we'll even get some video... 

Now, this week in links:

Don't be a jerk! From Karen Salmansohn, a great piece on Oprah.com about how to NOT be a jerk next time you have a fight. It's geared toward couples, but I've worked in at least one office environment where we could have used her suggestions. Regrettably.

Keith passed me this NY Times article on biologists studying helpful tots with this boldfaced reminder: "It's in our nature to help!"

Get out your tissues to read about the Lifeline group to end all Lifeline groups, reported on in the WSJ. Thanks to Michael Dill for the link.

Do you waste time listening to the wrong people? Seth Godin says, quit it!

Tim Ferriss wants you to piss people off.

And finally, a piece in The Economist on visionary leadership. Not only do leaders need a great vision, they need the story or metaphor to make it real for everyone else.

I'd like to hear stories about the last time you had to piss someone off in order to be true to what you knew was right. Anyone?

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Hope everyone had a great week, and that I'll "see" all of you here today for Keith's Live Community Q&A at 12 Eastern/9 Pacific. (At 9, the Ustream live chat will become the top post - wait for it!) It will be our first time working with Ustream, so fingers crossed for a smooth experience on the technical end.

Now, this week in links...

Chris Brogan rightly reminds us that Relationships, not Content, are king -- and illustrates it with an Elvis-style photo. Nothin' but a hounddog, Chris?

Great post from the always fresh Penelope Trunk on who you should trust to give you career advice. Hint: Don't be a snob!

Roger Grant tells us how to turn business cards into powerful brand messaging! Keith connected with Roger in Calgary last week and was mucho impressed with his cards.

Lifeline-esque Groups in Action: Jim "Data" Mourey, who you've "met" if you read Who's Got Your Back, passed along this piece about the Posse Foundation, which has boosted college graduation rates among participants up to 90% compared to the average 58% by using peer support.

AND FINALLY: Who's seeing or has a teenager who's seeing New Moon this weekend? (Secretly, a friend is making me see it tonight, but let's keep that between us, yes?) Hollywood Insider reports that presales for the movie, the second in the Twilight vampire series, are breaking all kinds of records.

Here's the question I pose to you, Relationship Masters: What is it about the relationship between Bella and Edward that resonates so powerfully with so many of today's women and girls?

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