[Watch my interview from last Tuesday's TODAY Show.]

How was I supposed to follow a high school sophomore who
made a clutch shot from his butt to win the state championship?

Especially when I was battling my own high school nerves
that morning. Then again, not even in high school did I make cheat sheets. But
sure enough, before my TODAY Show interview Tuesday morning, I was cutting and
pasting my eight points I wanted to make on the back of my copy of Never Eat
Alone...

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On my way to the studio on Tuesday morning, all I could
think was, "Thank God it's a cold day -- maybe I won't sweat." When I
arrived at the green room, I decided the best way to distract myself was just
to do what I do. So within five minutes I had decided to introduce the high
school sophomore to Phil Knight of Nike next time he was in Portland. I talked
to the makeup artist to try to understand whether she was really pursuing her
passion. We quickly determined that the print photographers would be much more
impactful for her mission in life, and we started to put together a networking
action plan for her on the fly when they called me downstairs.

Thank goodness my friend who works at NBC came down and
made me feel at ease by introducing me to Willard, Matt, Ann, Natalie, and the
crew as we chatted, waiting to go on. 

Just as the producer starts counting down the seconds 10.
9. 8. 7...all of a sudden, Natalie grabs the book (with my cheat sheet on the
back) and says "Oh, no, you want it face-up so everyone can see it."
She flips the book over -- no more cheat sheet!

Fortunately, the interview was an absolute breeze. I just
tried to focus on two things. 1. Getting our message out there. 2. Making the
people out there successful. Not selling books, not sweating, not trying to
impress anyone, just focusing on how I could help.  

The aftermath was certainly fantastic. People seemed to
feel the interview went well, and I'm just thrilled that more people are
reading and LIVING Never Eat Alone because of it!

Link: TODAY Show interview - free video

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For the first time in a long time I was a bit panicked. Last week, as the reality of Tuesday crept up on me, and the fact that 7 million people will be watching me on the Today show, I began to totally stress. Would I remember my main points? How could I possibly get all the passion and sincerity across from Tahl and my book in a 5 minute interview where I’m not even driving the script but someone – maybe Al Roker joking about eating alone when I want to talk about the power of generosity. How the world needs to wake up and realize that we can’t get anywhere alone, but only through the power of the relationships in our lives will we succeed. I don’t want to get bogged down in details that are available in the book about how to warm cold calls, align your own backyard for our success, etc. I want to tell people to just share their passion with others – do what they love doing and just invite new people into their lives who can make our lives richer.

But I was worried, I even began to feel somehow claustrophobic – wow, was this an anxiety attack?  What a concept – thought those only happened to wimps. Stress, sure, but anxiety??!!  All this while I was in beautiful Tucson the day before yet another big talk at the Inc. 500 annual conference.  I was kicking things off there to set a tone for the conference, to set a culture among those there to make the conference really rock. I began to even doubt I could do that very thing which I had done so so so many times for Forbes, Nike, and countless other events, conferences and management meetings.

SO?  Get a run.Lift some weights. Medidate. And yes, Eat Alone! I hung out in my room that night, lit a fire and chilled out, reading Phyllis Diller's biography – kinda fun but the NYTimes book review of a couple weeks ago was better than the book I thought.

I did the kickoff for the 1500 entrepreneurs.  Awesome!  I did the breakout for about 300 directly after and then it kicked in.  Damn, I love this.  I love helping people get this message.  That’s it.  Tuesday isn’t a chance to try to sell books or build my brand – that’s what was panicking me.  Tuesday is a chance to make a difference.  To help so many get this message.  YOU CANNOT GET THERE ALONE!  GENEROSITY IS THE KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS IN RELATIONSHIPS!  IT'S EASY AND FUN IF YOU JUST SHARE YOUR PASSIONS AND LET YOUR GUARD DOWN!  YOU GOT TO START NOW P L E A S E, FOR YORU OWN GOOD.  BUILD THESE RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE YOU NEED THEM!

Wish me luck!

6 comments // In Never Eat Alone

it's usually a good idea to do it.

But you probably already knew that.

Tom is the definition of "thought leader" in my mind. I can't tell you how flattered I am that he enjoyed the Never Eat Alone perspective!

Click here to read what Tom says(!) about Never Eat Alone.

And click here to go to his site where you can find his daily thoughts, awesome books, and famous presentation slides!

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For Inc. magazine's blog, I wrote a little bit about why I wrote the recent note about my dad, the response I got and aftermath of it all. And I posed what I think are a couple of important questions at the end:

"I know how good it felt to bare my soul and share something so personal...So I ask you,...might it even be good for our companies if we stopped trying to be so
professional all the time and took more moments to be human? It's
during these moments of truth and vulnerability that we establish trust
among those around us. So, why not put ourselves out there a little
more?

Read "Moments Like These" on Inc.'s blog.

4 comments // In Never Eat Alone

Here's what my mom wrote about my recent post about my dad's death anniversary. Her response is wonderful and moving, and proves the point I was trying to make in my previous note.

From: Nancy Ferrazzi
To: Keith Ferrazzi

That was
such a beautiful story. I could never put my thoughts into words like you do. I
guess that comes with a lot more education than I have & then again the art
of your talent. At first the tears rolled down my checks remembering dad and
missing him. Then I got a little chuckle where your mom drives you crazy. How
else could I get your attention? I love you son. I remember there were times
when you were little and your dad would correct you, then you would turn to me
and say, "why did you marry him mom"? I always told you,
"because I love him. Now you realize it was all for you own good. I’m so
glad you respect him & love him. He always left an impression of
remembrance on everyone he ever met. I miss & still love him dearly.
I meet people on the street that worked at Kennametal with dad & they will
say what is your son doing now?  I am very proud of you son. Your book I'm
sure will be able to help many people who are trying to decide what they want
to do to get ahead with their life. I'm sure you have left remembrance and
touched lives of people, just like your dad. I am very proud of you son!!!! I
just wish Pete was here to share it with me.

Love You,
Mom

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Never Eat Alone reader Paul Martin writes in:

"It would be interesting to know who is buying the book. Is it young MBA types starting out or “Old Guys” correcting past mistakes?

"I will keep you updated with my Old Guy Success Stories."

I agree with Paul. It would be interesting to know who is reading Never Eat Alone. I think people of all ages will find value in the book. But what do I know? You're the one reading. Post a comment and tell us a little about yourself.

Hint: This is a great way to build your brand! It's just like I say to do at conferences -- even if you're not the speaker (or blogger), you can still get a 15-second commercial by introducing yourself and contributing insightful thoughts or questions during Q&A! And who knows, another conference attendee (or blog reader) might be compelled to reach out to you. You'll never know if you don't put yourself out there.

12 comments // In Never Eat Alone

I have an e-mail newsletter called the 'You Can't Get There Alone' Tip of the Week (subscribe here). In it, I offer a good dose of advice and encouragement to my readers to help them continue building the relationships that will enhance their lives and careers.

I won't be posting the contents of those e-mails here on the blog, but I've gotten such an overwhelming response to this week's tip that I thought I'd share it with everyone. Here it is.   

(March 9, 2005)
'You Can't Get There Alone' Tip of the Week
---------------------------------------------------------------

Just Ask, Before They're Gone

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This past weekend was the anniversary of the passing of my dad, Pete Ferrazzi.
It’s been 7 years now. Amazing, it just doesn’t seem that long. This anniversary and all the introspection and sadness it brings happen to correspond with one of the brightest moments of my life. My book, Never Eat Alone, has hit the Wall Street Journal best seller list (#13 for business books) only one week after its release. Unfortunately, I don’t have my dad with me to share this moment.

If you’ve read Never Eat Alone, you know the impact my dad had on my life. In fact, most of the principles I shared in my book were first taught to me by my dad. That man lived for his son’s success and if only he were alive now, I bet this moment would add at least another 10 years to his life.

In all my writing, I urge you to recognize and tap into the power of your own backyard, the rich tapestry of relationships you have at your fingertips that so many of us fail to reach out to for so many reasons -- mostly fear of embarrassment or rejection or of burdening those around us. I’m going to address the fear factor in an upcoming column, but I want you to think about something now. Trust me when I say that reaching out to my dad for advice and favors used to make him the happiest man on the planet. He loved me, and helping me be successful in any small way brought him true joy. And that’s also true of my mom (who, frankly, drives me crazy) and my sister (even though we share so little in common) and my cousins (who are mostly a pretty strange lot) and dad's sisters (who are actually crazy)...and the list goes on.

The point is that for all the baggage we carry, people who care about us are waiting and wanting to contribute to our success. And, at the end of the day, perhaps the biggest gift we can give any of them is to reach out for help.

I remember once when I was renovating a house and I asked my dad to come down and supervise the demo. The accidents he accumulated over a lifetime of working heavy construction and in a steel mill had taken their toll. But he lit up at the opportunity to come out and help –- to be relevant in his retirement for his son who had never done this kind of work. I left for my job, and when I came back to check in at lunchtime, all the workers were waiting for me on the front lawn. I said, "What happened? Where’s my dad?" They told me that pop had fired them all and decided to do the work himself because they weren’t working hard enough or fast enough. I went inside and, to no surprise, saw my elderly father swinging a hammer. He was the happiest I had seen him in years. Dad, I love you. Thanks for the work ethic and all the lessons –- the most important of which is "just ask." 

So, as you can imagine, I was totally tearing up while writing this in seat 3E, sitting next to this football-player-looking guy, on a United Airlines flight to Chicago. It was kinda obvious because I had to wipe my eyes. But instead of hoping the guy next to me would ignore my emotion, I decided to practice yet another of Dad’s lessons -- audacity. I turned and briefly shared that I was writing about my dad and the recent anniversary of his death. Well, did this open up a conversation! Next thing I knew, we were landing, and Ben and I were agreeing to grab dinner soon. He wanted me to speak at an upcoming convention of financial planners his firm was organizing. And I offered to help him think through the book that he had wanted to write for years. 

For any of you who may have lost someone special to you, here's a thought. Give them a call. Sit quietly and talk to them about what’s going on in your life, maybe ask them for some advice and see what you hear coming back to you in your head and in your heart. Then turn and do the same to someone special in your life whom you haven’t lost yet, who is in your life today, before they may not be.

Warmest,
Keith
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Click Here to subscribe to the 'You Can't Get There Alone' tip of the week.

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Wow! I'm totally flattered by B&N putting Never Eat Alone in such good company today. 

(See the BN.com homepage, or if the book's no longer there, click here to go to the regular listing for NeverEatAlone.)

It's just awesome to be even close to the same league as those other books. Thanks to everyone for their support!

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My new contribution to the Inc.com Sales and Networking Resource Center just posted. It's an excerpt from "Connecting with Connectors," chapter 15 of Never Eat Alone, preceeded by an introduction from yours truly. Good stuff about the many kinds of super-connectors and uber-networkers, the people you definitely want to build relationships with!

Link: "Connecting with Connectors"

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