One Easy Networking Trick for Immediate Impact

Posted on June 8th, 2010 by Keith Ferrazzi

Here’s a quick and easy way to differentiate yourself from the crowd at events: Remember people’s names after a single introduction. Sure, it’s a small thing, but remembering a name tells someone that they made a memorable impression, and that you cared enough to remember them.

Remembering names can be a challenge – you’re taking in a lot of stimuli when you meet someone new, or even several people at once – but with a few tricks, you can make huge progress!

A guide:

1.    Make a choice to care. What I consider a kind of “first principle” of relationship building applies here. If you make a conscious decision that you are going to remember names, because you care about the people you meet, you will immediately become much better at doing it!

2.    Picture the name written across their forehead. Think that sounds dumb? It’s not. It was a trick used by Franklin Roosevelt and he amazed his staff with how well he remembered names.

3.    Listen to the name of the person you are being introduced to. If you don’t hear the name clearly the first time, ask them to repeat it. Again, this seems obvious, but some of you are so convinced you aren’t going to remember that you don’t even listen in the first place!

4.    Repeat the name as soon as possible. You can either repeat it as a confirmation, “Joe, right?” or in conversation, “Nice to meet you, Joe.”  Either way, say it aloud and look the person in the eyes, too.

5.    Use word or picture associations to make the person-name combination more memorable. For someone named Joy, picture her with a huge smile on her face, glowing with happiness.  Imagine Sandy on a beach.  Maybe Mike is singing karaoke. The more unusual the picture, the more memorable. Be creative!

Use these techniques the next time you are introduced to a new friend - commit to remembering and make it happen -  and more meaningful connections will be yours.

Do you have any great tricks for remembering names? I’d love to hear them!

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33 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. - Bring a marker and write the name on their forehead.
    - make a rhyme: Peter Pumpkin eater, Marius hilarios etc
    - Or put it into a context: Keith Ferazzi can afford a jacuzzi

  2. Great tips! I like tip #2. Will use that when I next meet a new friend!

  3. Ask the people you meet about their hobbies, family, work and what they do for fun or either visualize what they do and connect that hobby, etc. with their name. For example, if Bob likes to fish, then picture Bob holding a 20 pound Bass named Bob. If Sarah is a salesperson then picture her being introduced by name as the top salesperson of the year recieving a bonus check of $1,000,000.00. The funnier and more out-landish you make it the better. Even if your visualization is fiction it will stick.

    • Absolutely love this suggestion. I tried it out recently and it works. Now it's just a matter of getting in the habit (remembering!) to always doing it :)

      Thanks again!

  4. I learned a long time ago that you should look the person in the eye when they are saying their name. I am sure there is some proven reason, but I can't remember now. All I know is it works for me.

  5. Keith,

    Thanks for sharing these tips. It's very embarrassing to forget someone's name at an event, especially when I've just met them! So, at the next event, I'm going to set an intention (#1 tip) to remember those names. I find that, usually, when I set an intention to do something, I have better results.

  6. thank you for tips, especially about visualisation.

    I repeat the name to oneself about 5 times

  7. Great tips Keith! Thanks for sharing these with us. I will make sure to use them at future events.

  8. I find that in addition to repeating the name as soon as possible, to do so intentionally at least 5 times during the course of the initial conversation. But what happens if you forget the name? I have found that people are very gracious when you say, "I'm sorry, I feel like a moron, but I forgot your name." I think the humility added to the fact that they probably forgot your name results in the positive response. This way, it becomes an additional motivation to remember the name--I don't want to pull that line twice on the same person.

  9. For me, remembering #1 is important. As an introvert, in crowded events I tend to focus too much on me--what I am going to say or do--and forget to listen and remember. I frequently ask for their name again because it didn't sink in the first time. I find that an exchange of business cards is critical for my memory. When the conversation is over, I frequently pull out the card and try to connect my visual image of them to their name, title or anything else printed there. Thanks for the great tips, Keith.

  10. I love your tip #1 (you have to care) and Darrell's comment about repeating the name (your tip #4 is to repeat the name, but Darrell says to repeat it various times). I'm really, really bad with names and faces, but I have been trying for the last few years to change that....

    Another thing I do when I re-meet someone, or am introduced by someone, is I extend my hand (to shake) and say my name ("Jason Alba,"), even if I'm sure they know who I am - ah, it would be so much easier if everyone did that, wouldn't it? :p

  11. I, too, ask for a business card, and as soon as I am alone, I jot down what we talked about or something to help me remember the new person. My Dad was a salesman, and he always said that the most important thing to remember is a person's name. If you can go a step further and remember wife and kids' names, you are way out in front of the pack.

  12. Since I have a hard time remembering names, I try to help people remember me. When I meet them again, I don't assume they remember my name. I say "Hi. I am Jennifer Stratman. We met at so-and-son." I also repete my name in the conversation.

  13. If you forget someone's name, just nonchalantly say "tell me your name again," and then when they tell it to you, say "Oh yeah I KNEW that" -- makes it sound like you really did remember the name and forgetting it was just a fluke....

  14. All great tips. Personally, I have to go in consciously making the committment to remember someone's name. If I don't do that first step I'm done for. Then, once I get the name I immediately have to repeat it back and usually will ask them to spell their name for me if it's more of an uncommon name or clarify spelling for more common (ie: is that Ann with an "e" or without?). This helps me to visualize the name while expressing true interest in getting it right at the same time. Hope it helps!

  15. Great tips--I really try to focus on learning names, and I will definitely be imagining name written on the foreheads. Does anyone have additional tips for avoiding mixing up similar-sounding names? I easily mix up Steve and Scott, Mike and Mark, Bill and Bob, Hunter and Tucker, etc.

  16. Could we, as a courtesy to all those who forget names, start wearing our badges on the right hand side. In that way, when shaking hands, you auromatically turn your body slightly towards the person you are meeting. That in turn gives him/her the opportunity to read your name. Reading the name, hearing it being pronounced at the same time and thereafter using it in the conversation is a 100 percent foolproof recipe to not forget names for a while.

    Thereafter you may want to explain to that person why you wear your badge on that right hand side. You may want to ask him to do you the favour and ask him to place his badge on that side as well.

    With a little demonstration the advantage becomes very clear.

    I also have made it part of my networking mission to point this out to Network-event organisers and at registry-tables.

    Wish you all good luck remembering names.
    Jos

    • Gaylyn Feeder says:
      June 8, 2010 at 5:02 pm
      Reply

      I like the idea of wearing your name tag on the right side. When meeting someone it is easier to see the printed name as you reach for their hand.

  17. I try to come up with a funny or humorous association so that the next time I see them I'm likely to smile AND remember their name. It's not always easy.

  18. Gretha Lindwood says:
    June 8, 2010 at 9:45 pm
    Reply

    Good advice, all of it. My sister told me years ago that another reason to place your name tag on your right side is because when you extend your right hand to shake, the other person's eyes tend to follow your arm up to your name tag before traveling up to your face.

    I, too, re-introduce myself, as do Jason and Jennifer, when meeting someone I don't know well. They seem to appreciate it and I know I certainly do when others do the same for me.

  19. As always, great tips!

    I try to use the other person's name at least three times in the conversation... 1) As you pointed out, I repeat it back as soon as I am introduced to them. 2) During mid-conversation ("That's a great point, Joe...") and 3) at the end of the conversation. ("Joe, It was a pleasure meeting you.")

  20. When I meet new people I always try to make their name rhyme with something memorable, and then tie the rhyme to a random situation. Keith Ferrazzi becomes Keith Ferrari, then imagining you driving the car seals the deal. :)

  21. I have a colleage who used to take a photo of people he met. This goes into his Contacts, and is a perfect way of remembering people and their names. With cellphone cameras this is a bit easier, but I am not sure everyone would like to be snapped. Has anyone tried this?

  22. I make it a point to re-confirm the persons name as we say good bye. ie: "it was nice meeting you Steve, right?" I am usually pretty close to the name, and they will correct it for me if not. I then can walk off with the name fresh in my mind, and concentrate on the other memorization steps so the next time we meet I hopefully remember. If I don't remember on a next meeting, I find it is always best to ask right off, instead of waiting for the conversation to get rolling.

  23. At camp we used to do this thing with introducing ourselves where we would say an adjective before our name with the same first letter, e.g. Rapid Rich, Magnificent Marius, Jolly Jennifer.I haven't used it yet at networking things but this inspires me to do it.

  24. I find it helpful if I can associate their name with someone I already know; i.e. if the name is Nora I think of my Aunt Nora. Great tips! Aren't we always pleased when someone remembers our name?? I find it quite flattering.

  25. My wife and I have a system that works great when we're together. When someone one of us knows comes up, we say, "Beth, you know Fred (or whoever), don't you?" Or "Margeret (or whoever), you've met my husband, Steve, haven't you?" This puts both us AND the person we meet at ease. We do it even when we both know other person. They always say, "Of course I know Beth..." and away we go into converstion.

  26. Word and picture associations work great for me.
    I have a lot of trouble remembering names or even faces. When I do an explicit association, my mind works much better.
    There are lots of academic research papers on cognitive sciences around the topic that I had fun reading when I was in academia.
    Jordi Robert-Ribes

  27. thom singer says:
    June 20, 2010 at 10:42 am
    Reply

    Keith-

    You are soooo right... the small things make a big difference.

    You point # 1 is more important than people may realize. Making a decision to care about others makes all the difference. If one is just pretending to care in order to impress people to win business, it is obvious to people. If one is really selfish, best to stay home, as people can smell a fraud.

    Another great tip to remember their name is to send them a hand written note within a couple of days of meeting them. When you do this you are making them a priority in your mind, and you are writing their name TWICE (once in the salutation and once on the envelope).

    Have a great day

    thom

  28. Always grab a business card, and then write a brief description about them on the FRONT of the card. 1) Physical --> Hair color, glasses, clothing, unique jewelry. 2) Something unique that they said during the conversation. 3) Where, when, and at what function did you meet them! I always try to ask people two questions - what's your business goal and what's your passion. Make a small note of these two answers too! Put the cards on your passenger seat on the way home and visualize the person that goes with each card. Keep them in a seperate business card portfolio grouped by "group" - then take 5 minutes to flip through it before you leave your car for your next "group" event. Anyone can remember a name... but when you ask them "Hey Keith, did you make it to Partner yet... or how was your last fishing trip... or have you been back to BMA National in Vegas lately... you'll be able to see it in their eyes!

  29. Another GREAT one... make it a point to introduce them to 2-3 people that you already know... and run a 30-second commercial for them when you do it!

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