Would You Be More Successful If You Golfed?

Posted on November 3rd, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

foremickeyI've met plenty of people who are interested in golf but are afraid to get started. Golf is foreign, something “other people” or even “rich people” do.

Fear of the unknown = TERRIBLE reason not to do something. So I asked Merryll McElwain, a former golf pro turned financial advisor, to help out those of you with little to no experience with the sport. She has some great advice - especially for women. Golf doesn't need be a "boy's club."

Tell me in the comments: Is golf a “must” or a “meh” in your business?


Former Golf Pro Merryll McElwain on Getting Started with Golf

Former golf-pro turned Financial Analyst

Former golf-pro turned Financial Analyst Merryll McElwain

Why is golf so important to relationship building? Why for women especially?

Merryll: Golf is one of the only sports where you get extensive quality time and conversation with someone. On the golf course, you have several hours of conversation available in between shots to really get to know someone. Golf has typically been a business tool for men. Women have used other ways to build relationships. I hear all the time from successful women who are frustrated with how difficult it is to break into the men's club. Golf, in my opinion, is an excellent tool to do that.

Does it matter if you’re really not a great player?

Merryll: There are so many things that do matter, but level of play is not one of them. Many executives are average or below average golfers. If you’re taking the game up late in life, you are not expected to be good.

What are a few tactical steps anyone can take to learn how to play golf in 30 days?

Merryll: You need about 10 hours a week to learn the game. First things first: get a set of clubs. You want a set of irons with a sand wedge, a driver, and a putter.

Next, sign up for a one-hour lesson at the beginning of each week to cover basics – the swing, chipping, and putting.

Then, practice an hour every weekday and at least a round on the weekends. Find a golf course in your area and start with a par 3 course, then move on to 9 holes on a regular course and eventually golf a full 18 holes.

Are there specific rules of engagement for a business outing on the golf course?

Merryll: Before you get on the course with a business relationship, learn the basic rules - for example, when to take a penalty stroke or where to drop your ball if it goes in the water, etc. Most teachers will go on the course with you if you pay them for a playing lesson, or at least pay for their round.

Second, you need to learn course etiquette. Golf is called a "gentleman's game" for a reason. You need to know where to stand while someone is hitting or putting, how to mark your ball on the green, etc.  You also need to keep pace. No matter how many shots you hit or how many balls you may lose, you have to keep up. Sometimes, this means picking up your ball and sitting out the rest of the hole OR not spending time to look for a lost ball.

Finally, don’t forget dress code and attitude. Many people in business decide on the character of a person based on their demeanor on the golf course. Look at what the pros are wearing and find a style that works for you. Invest in your clothes and shoes, and show up pressed and polished. When you make a tee-time, ask them about their dress code. Some courses require you to wear a collared shirt or to remove your hat in the restaurant. Be calm on the course no matter how frustrated you get. Throwing clubs, cursing and excessive drinking will not get you very far in business. Be honest about your score and don’t cheat!

How do you invite your clients for a round of golf?

Merryll: It's very simple. Find a course that is convenient and relatively central to all parties, call the pro shop to make a tee-time and begin calling your clients to fill up your foursome! If you know a lot of people who play, you may want to send an email with specific details on day, time, place and cost and ask them to reply to all. The point is that you begin reaching out so that they know you play. Then, whether they play in your group or not, they will consider you for their outings in the future and you’ll have more opportunities to builder more meaningful relationships and trust with clients.

Thanks Merryll!

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49 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. I'm a pretty at golf - but enjoy the walking and talking!

    Rather than a business building activity, I've found it to be a great way to keep in contact with close friends at a time when we're all so busy. Just playing 9 holes early morning or one evening after work on a short course gives you ample time to maintain relationships

  2. oops - typo!

    that first line should have read "I'm pretty awful at golf - but enjoy...."

  3. Golf is a meh. I know many people who love it and can't get enough, I also know many successful business people who never hit the links. It is a great way to have one-on-one conversations with people and there is something to be said about being out in nature.

  4. I have found playing golf is a useful tool to build relationships. As Merryl mentioned, a round of golf gives you 4-6 hours to talk with a customer. I make it a point to never mention anything relating to work unless the person I am with does first. After all, that person knows why you have invited them to spend the day with you and why you are paying for everything.

    I prefer to use that time to get to know the individual on a personal level. In doing so I have found, among other things, that my brother filled a customer's father's position when he retired. Small world.

  5. Golf it up! handicapping allows you to play anyone and enjoy it. If you are someone who needs time to build a relationship and wants someone to get to see another side of you without a tie on, get out there and swing the sticks. 5 hours can be a waste of time however if you invite an pain in the A@&, who will never buy from you.

  6. Diane Gulyas says:
    November 3, 2009 at 4:25 am
    Reply

    I started golfing 25 years ago to get closer to my husband and have found huge benefits in business relationships. Today, I am able to get quality time on the golf course with top leaders from major Asian corporations in Japan and Korea. As a woman leader, that is huge. Golf is fun and it really can help in business. Give it a try !

  7. I "did it all" including dating the golf pro....and frankly just did not find it either a natural sport (ie natural to learn) and/or fun...most guys I met and golfed with , like to "drink and smoke" and of course gamble some, which diminishes the pure athletic aspect of it ....AND it takes alot of time....not for me, however, that said, i can see how it could really be a benefit....IF, you find you like the whole golf process :)

  8. OK, so, given my position as Co-Founder and CEO of a real-time wireless golf scoring company (eGolfScore), I'm going to be a little biased! :) Seriously, as a former CMO, I find golf (and particularly golf outings), a great way to network, connect with folks, AND give back a little if it is a charity outing. Like many things, it is all about your expectations. I feel golf is very effective in connecting with great people and creating long-term relationships.

  9. Thanks for this! Any golfer can tell you how much his or her game has been an asset in the business world.

    One of the most frequent naysayers' arguments is that golf is too expensive. However, once the initial investment is made (equipment), it's not as pricey as one would think. I know of serious golfers who are very loyal to a public course or two. They bring clients there with no hesitation, and with significantly lower cost than joining an exclusive club. Do some research in your area-there are probably a few good public courses.

  10. I would consider myself an avid golfer with a respectable handicap. Often I have the pleasure of playing with my friends and colleagues some of whom don't play more than once a year, or hardly ever at all.

    I just wanted to point out the fact that character truly shines through in a round of golf. Whether it is there first time playing, or if they can give me a competitive game, it is always interesting to see how people carry themselves on the course, after they hit a terrible shot, or what their attitude is after they score high on a hole.

    For those beginners I play with, I'm not expecting any of them to play well, simply to try and not give up all the while making sure they are following the rules to the best of their knowledge. If their attitude stays positive while playing awful, then I know they have a great character!

  11. I admit - I'm not prone to go for a round of golf as my first choice of outdoor activity. I'd rather be motorcycling or skiing - BUT - those are two passions that clearly do not allow the same degree of social interaction, particularly from a business perspective, that golf does (although I did land a key client as a result of motorcycling, but that's a story for another blog!).

    Back to golf - given the markets I've worked, professional services firms I've been a part of, and my own consulting clients, it's a must. Am I a good golfer? No. For me, breaking 100 is a big deal... as is parring a hole. But I've found two simple keys to success on the course, in a foursome, in a tournament, at an outing - or wherever golf is involved. First, know the rules. Second, keep the game moving. Really - it's that simple. Most people would rather play with someone who consistently does those two things than a scratch golfer with an attitude - and the attitude probably won't do anything for advancing relationships, either!

    And apply Merryll's advice (equipment, lessons, practice, attire, situational awareness, etc.). It is absolutely on-the-mark!

  12. My advice is to join a league. I played 20 times this year instead of my usual 6 to 8 rounds and I met many business contacts.

  13. Hi,
    As Landon said, character comes through on a golf outing - how people handle stress, adversity, luck, etc... Not only that, but it's pretty hard to hide some traits when you're in close proximity with someone for 4-6 hours.

    Also, I find one's attitude towards golf conveys a sense of how tolerant they are of other people's opinions - anyone too opinionated about golf (whether positively or negatively - golf not a sport, blah blah blah) is likely to be very opinionated about other things as well...

    Fore!
    Fernando

  14. As a woman, I have found playing golf to be very helpful in breaking into the "good old boy's network" as well as the growing "woman's network". Many of my friends play golf and the opportunity to discuss business, socialize, and network is huge. My sport of choice is tennis, but it is hard to discuss much when you are trying to win the point!

  15. I'd love to break into the club but how does a working mother find 10 hours a week to learn the game?! That's an impossible hurdle. Anyone else have ideas on how to condense the learning curve?

  16. I use golf to supplement relationship development with existing clients. No executive worth their salt would invest 7+ hours (golf is 4.5 to 5 hours plus a drink after and travel to and from with warm up time) of their time on someone who is simply willing to pay for green fees, a golf cart and a few beer.

    As a general rule, I never ask for business from a client on the golf course. If the client is chatty and they are giving off a receptive vibe (if you don't know what I mean by a receptive vibe thent he answer is probably "no") I will probe a bit. A friend of mine showed me how to use a 3X3 matrix of past, present, future and personal, business and industry. I usually make my way through at least 6 of the 9 over the course of a round of golf.

    The next day I always follow-up with a thank you for spending time with me. Sometime within the next two weeks, I try to send out a piece of thought leadership or POV on one of the subjects tha my cilent mentioned mattered most to them. My objective is not to sell anything, it is to show them that I care enough to remember what they said. Do this once or twice and the client will be calling you for a game.

  17. This is great! The universe is talking to me, I wanted to learn golf for the last 3 months but for not having the right equipment, etc. (excuses) hasn’t happen yet. Strangely enough many things that have happened to me that indicates me ‘you must learn to golf’ I’d been winning on the 'raffle' time in different business meetings: gloves, golf balls and even a 18 holes to play for free! I dont have any excuses anymore. The universe is talking with this blog and I should follow this ‘higher’ revelation. So, I am going tomorrow with my friend Arden before the next snow storm hits Utah. Even the weather is crazy, normally we are surround of snow and we are going to be the entire week in the mid 60's. Thanks for your comments, I will make sure to follow your directions. I hope to see you on the field but get ready because I am a lucky beginner who likes to win! sonia@soniathomas.com

  18. Some of the excellent advice given in this article and the comments needs to be emphasized -- before playing golf in a business situation make sure you know the rules and ettitiquite of the game. The R&A has a nice two-page PDF summarizing both: http://www.randa.org/shop/productfiles/RulesInBrief.pdf

    Even better, make sure your understanding of the game is vetted by friends in "real world" situations before you make your golfing debut on the business scene.

  19. I've been able to get next to folks (General Officers, CEOs/VPs) on the golf course I would have probably never met otherwise.
    Also I've found two truths to golf communications:
    Good golfers will say: "Lucky shot" after the 9th straight great shot during a round
    Bad golfers will say: "I normally play better than this" after the 9th straight shot into the trees. :)

  20. Lisa - If something is important enough for you to learn and do, you will find the time necessary to learn it. I find that 10 hours a week is too much for me as well, as a working mom. I do not know how well a golfer I am, I am lucky to get 10 hours in a year, I have improved with the little time I spend golfing however. I have fun and it is great time getting to know people and build/strengthen relationships. I would recommend a few lessons and joining a league. And if you want more pratice how about doing some of the practice with your kids in your own yard?

  21. Jeff McGuinness says:
    November 3, 2009 at 7:47 am
    Reply

    Have to agree with Meryll -- golf offers great opportunities for conversation and more importantly to show your character. Regardless of your skill level, how you respond to the blown putt or the drive that hooks instead of fades is on display and that can be a great chance to distinguish yourself and give your message more weight and value.

  22. I started playing golf 4 years ago at the age of 53 and find it a marvelous way to network. To get started I took a 3-day intensive course in Myrtle Beach. The first summer I played in a "beginners" league on an executive par 3 course. The following summer I "graduated" to regulation length course. As my desire to improve grew, I started lessons at GolfTec and used their indoor practice facility 2x's per week where I can watch my swing on their monitor. The most helpful part of the GolfTec program is the ability to view my lesson and drills online prior to going out to practice. By the way, I keep a pitching wedge and a 7 wood in my home and spend 10 minutes working on my swing at least every other day. I also try to play 18 every weekend. Got my first Eagle this summer and breaking 100 is no longer a rarity.

  23. Ross Lenhart says:
    November 3, 2009 at 8:38 am
    Reply

    It always helps if your boss is a golfer too. Golf, and the way it is viewed around the office, has changed over the years. In the fifties, sixties and early seventies often times a VP or CEO or a doctor or a dentist had a regular golfing afternoon during the week, like on a Thursdays. Like clockwork, he (mostly"hes" then) you could count that he would be on the golf course on that given afternoon. It was gospel, and, yes, acceptable. Not today. The working golfing culture has changed, and I think that there is a stigma about time off to play the game. Unacceptable in many quarters. As I said, it always helps if the boss plays the game.

  24. The answer to this question is "meh-be". A better question is, "CAN you be more successful with golf?" Yes, you can. Would you be? Depends on you. If you're embracing golf purely as a means to be successful in business, your energy is misplaced. If you find you don't enjoy the time spent on the green, it will hinder you ability to connect. If you fall in the love with the game, add it to your networking toolbox.
    The secluded, small group atmosphere on the golf course provides a catalyst to relationship building by eliciting candor and vulnerability. Golf can be your "long, slow dinner", but it doesn't have to be. Sure, it can be instrumental in your networking, but for the time and price of a set of clubs, lessons, and multiple rounds, you might find you can host some spectacular and memorable dinner parties.
    Why haven't you golfed before? The answer to this question should steer you to the best decision for your individual growth. If the answer is a choice based on legitimate reasons, own it. If the answer is a series of fears and excuses, confront them.

  25. Game is great for networking, building relationships, business and not only that but having fun. Just started to realize that since I have been able to get back to playing golf again which has allowed me to get back in contact with friends and associates. They want to know what you been up to for the last 5 years, so you share with them and it has opened a few doors which is great.

  26. Yes. Any opportunity to get out of the office and mix it up with your boss or even just co-workers is an opportunity to plant the seed for success. This lets people get to kow the relaxed side of you and see that this is someone who may be worth investing time in both on and off the course.

  27. Wowzers, 10 hours a week to learn it seems a lot. But I guess it does take a lot of practice if you want to learn something in just a month.
    I was thinking of going to a driving range and just learning to hit the ball there- Happenings books have a ton of b1g1 free coupons-

  28. So many comments! Glad to see passion around golf. Disclosure: I don't play; boot camp has taken over as my favorite social exercise (with brunch afterwards when I can!). But if you read NEA you know the green was where I learned that truly generous relationships were the "special sauce" of the ultra successful.

    @Erin - "If something is important enough for you to learn and do, you will find the time necessary to learn it." I couldn't agree more!

    Rob, thanks for posting the link to rules/etiquette, very helpful for people.

  29. Shawn, aka "meh-be" :-) great comment.

  30. Some people say "golf builds character". Quite the contrary.
    "Golf REVEALS Character ". As mentioned before, you can learn alot about a person on the course. How they deal with adversity and succuss. I believe "what you do anytime, is what you do all the time". So if someone has trouble controlling their emotions, cheats or (hopefully) is very calm and accepts a few bad shots (that's part of the game) then they will probably respond in the same way off the course. Unless the client brings it up, leave business discussions for later.
    Cheers.

  31. The GCSAA over the years has suggested to many golf course owners to promote business meetings, seminars and retreats. It truly opens the mind and allows solid brainstorming at a different level...

  32. Would I be more successful if I played golf?

    Maybe.

    But the frustration of spending my weekend and a bunch cash trying to get a little ball into a hole would probably shorten my life, and turn my hair even grayer than it already is.

    I'll pass and just meet the winners in the bar.

  33. Meh.
    Time spent with people is good relationship building - golf or no golf. A captive audience engaged in PLAY of any kind is a helluva environment to create or strengthen a relationship.

    There's something be said for doing what you love... and if that's golf - for the love of it, not just for the business of it - then it's bound to go well.

    I've had good business relationships start or develop while sitting on surfboards waiting for the next wave; similarly while belaying or spotting someone while rock climbing - having a person's life and limb in your hands is a powerful relationship building opportunity.

  34. For me it has been a must, but now it's more of a meh - that is more driven by personal life. I love to play golf, but with running my own business and a young family I find it very hard to justify taking the expected 4-6 hours on a weekend to play. So if the occasional business game during the week can fit great, of course here in Canada we only get a 6 month window anyway to play!

    For those looking to build relationships with clients who are avid golfers and you do not personally want to get in to the game full on, there are some great alternatives that will make you very memorable to the client.

    1. Golf clinic day where you hire a pro for an afternoon at a club and invite some clients along for a golf clinic to tune up their game. Great for the start of the season (especially if you are in climates where golf is a limited sport).

    2. Get a former pro (like Merryll-!) and invite clients to play a round with them and pick up tips on your tab. You are there at the end to meet and greet, buy dinner etc. If the budget lets you get a high profile pro then get the pro to play 3 holes with 6 sets of clients and really stretch the investment and impact. Might be expensive but imagine the client who remembers playing 3 holes with Tiger Woods and who got him or her that.

    3. Hold your own golf day or tie in with a worthwhile charitable cause and be a major sponsor and satisfy business and philanthropy at the same time.

    Always remember to get some professional photos taken so that you can present those at a later date to the client, serves as a reminder and another reason to ping them.

    Also as gifts there are a host of golf items that can be equally effective in terms of impact without your having to raise a club.
    - tickets to top events
    - golf trips
    - memorabilia (great to have your gift on the clients desk every day)
    - winter golf conditioning program
    etc etc

    Just my toonies worth

  35. I always heard that business is done on the golf course. I never really learned the game and sometimes think at 46 that I am too old to start. I agree with many of the comments that is an excellent place to interact with friends, associates, etc. between holes. The 19Th hole is a bad place to meet either. :)

  36. Golf is a great way to establish strong relationships with both clients and friends.

    One question that comes to mind when reading these posts. I am curious to know if there any companies out there that invest in their employee's golf game? I feel this could fall under the "education fund" bracket where employees are able to expense golf lessons and other related golf education to improve their game and expand their personal brand?

  37. Keith,

    Love golf, and its the best game to test yourself, temper, how to handle failure, and success. But, if you want to hire someone, or invest with someone, take them golfing. You will see the true person. Don't ignore what you see on both sides. And bring lots of balls
    Randy W.

  38. I am not a golfer but it seems that it is the perfect sport to build relationships with clients, or spend fun time with a spouse or friend.
    Thinking about learning more about it.

    Deana Murphy

  39. I am not a golfer but it seems that it is the perfect sport to build relationships with clients, or spend fun time with a spouse or friend.
    Thinking about learning more about it.

    Deana Murphy

  40. I love the game of golf and I will admit that I am not that good either. It is great for building relationships and spending quality time with people.

  41. A good player who is also fun to be around wil experience the greatest benefit in building relationships through the game. A less capable player still will achieve at a greater rate than a non-golfer. It is all about time together and shared experiences...which come to think of it is the basis for any quality relationship.

  42. Marie-José Helle says:
    November 3, 2009 at 11:12 pm
    Reply

    Golf is a definate MUST in my business. I moved to another part of Holland 4 years ago and joined a Business Golf Club. Started playing every sunday with my hubbie and 2 sons and made many new friends and, more importantly many new customers for my mediabusiness.

    So....don't wait any longer.......

  43. Golf is a meh-st in my industry. Some of my colleagues won long term users of our competitors over with relationships built on the golf course and others never pick up a club, but build relationships over a meal or shared outing.

    To me, consistency is key. I you want to golf, learn the game so you're a semi-competent player and respectful playing partner; however, if you don't feel that learning golf is worth your time clearly communicate that feeling in a way that says, "I choose not to golf, but would like to build a relationship with you" instead of "I don't golf and don't like people who do."

  44. Dear Keith, life is too short to spend 4-8 hours with the same guys/gals ... I'd suggest more productive "networking" activities ... golf=not-working.

    Now for the golfers, keep up with your connections, just think about how to touch the poor non-golfers like Keith and me :)

  45. Yes, I know of several successful business women who enjoy their golf and benefit from the connections and relations strengthened on the golf course. But it's 'horses for courses'. Having played a little golf in my teens (on holidays), not only did the fairways suffer I experienced little 'joy' in the process. Now dancing or aqua does it for me!

  46. The first mistake that people who want to play golf for business make is this: they assume that they are supposed to be good at the sport. All too often, that idea of "good" is what they see on television, that is, the pros.

    Folks, you will probably never be that good. The average recreational and golfer plays a full 17 strokes over par in a typical round according to the US Golf Association. And keep this in mind: that's someone who plays often enough to record their scores for calculation for handicapping . Secondly, another statistic jumps out - 98% of all amateur players will never break par for a round of 18 holes.

    That's not many, is it? With those statistics in mind, it's fair to say "playing golf well is very difficult." Well, yes, obviously. So why do people play a sport that they will probably never excel in? Because it is an enjoyable leisure activity. In other words, it is fun.

    For beginners, I always tell them the same thing: if you want to play, go see a professional and get a lesson or two on the basics. Start right with a good coach. Then, practice enough to where you feel competent enough to hit the ball every time in the direction you want it to go most of the time. Then go and play.

    Other golfers usually won't care how good or bad you are, given that minimal competence I suggest - so long as you are pleasant and you keep up with the rest of your group. That means don't take the game too seriously and don't let its frustrations get the better of you. Trust me, if Tiger Woods can get frustrated enough to slam clubs and curse, you will too. Biting your tongue and laughing at your inevitable foibles is the key here. It's a game, right? Secondly, keeping up with your group means not holding everyone up. If you hit a ball in the woods and can't find it after a minute or two, throw one down on the edge of the trees and hit it from there. If you've done this two or three times on the same hole, pick up your ball, put it in your pocket and tell your group that's what you are doing.

    They will appreciate this, and you'll have more fun.

    The final piece of advice about business golf is this: even though it is work, the game is fun. Have fun playing, and enjoy not being in an office or a conference room. Don't worry about your score. That's not the point of the day. The business relationships are.

  47. i've heard the phrase "golf isn't a sport it's a career move" many times but i find the time and money commitment of taking up golf too great :(

  48. You certainly deserve a round of applause for your post and more specifically, your blog in general. Very high quality material.

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