The outreach strategy I described above should always be used in a way that's respectful and generous. In no way should it be manipulative. The "tactic" is meant to help you keep in step with what they need and want, so that you can be more respectful of where they sit, not less.

But always, any tactic is only as good as the level of care and genuine regard for others in the person using it.

It's the kind of tactic that as a professional, I see straight through and reject "outreach" from.

There are so many people who apply these tactics to such an end that they forget they're talking to another human. They forget to do simple, human things like express sorrow for another's loss, offer genuine help, or take time to actually know someone.

Before I realized this manipulative tactic, I naively believed some of the people in my professional circle with were my friends; you can imagine the hurt I felt when, after my father died, none of them reached out to be with me in such a painful time.

People aren't tasks------call this tactic what it is: network outreach. Relationship building, it's not.

Then, every now and then I check in through LinkedIn or some other form of follow up based on the conversations that we over time.