DO THIS to Keep Your Relationships – and Your Goals – in Constant Forward Motion

Posted on December 10th, 2009 by Keith Ferrazzi

Relationship management at its best is a way of life. You want to be engaged in relationship building relationships in a continuous, effortless flow that moves you in the direction of your highest priority goals.

One ritual for keeping the flow going is what I call “Programming.” What that means is that for any of your contacts, at all times you should either have a program (e.g., call them one a month, have dinner with them twice a year) or a next step (something unique to the relationship) in place.

A couple ideas to get this practice in motion:

1.    Relationship To-Do List: After every exchange, use a three column ledger to track: the Individual, the Goal they’re associated with, and the Program or Next Step.

2. Followup or Fail: Schedule followup/debrief time immediately after all of your meetings to schedule your next step.

How do you make relationship building a way of life?

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4 comments // In Business Networking, Relationship Management, Time Management
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4 Responses so far | Have Your Say!

  1. I don't necessarily have it written down but I do have a system for following up. Whenever I speak at an event, I take as many photos as I possibly can, upload them to flickr and/or create an Animoto video... Then I blog it and email people a LinkedIn invitation with a link to the event recap post I wrote for the event. This has such a positive impact on my connections with people and our follow up from that point forward.

    Then, every now and then I check in through LinkedIn or some other form of follow up based on the conversations that we over time.

  2. Keith, I just stumbled across your site, and your post seems more a strategy for manipulation than a developing a relationship or friendship.

    It's the kind of tactic that as a professional, I see straight through and reject "outreach" from.

    There are so many people who apply these tactics to such an end that they forget they're talking to another human. They forget to do simple, human things like express sorrow for another's loss, offer genuine help, or take time to actually know someone.

    Before I realized this manipulative tactic, I naively believed some of the people in my professional circle with were my friends; you can imagine the hurt I felt when, after my father died, none of them reached out to be with me in such a painful time.

    People aren't tasks------call this tactic what it is: network outreach. Relationship building, it's not.

  3. Sarah, thanks for you comment. I am sorry to hear that people failed you in what I know personally to be one of life's most difficult moments. Indeed, those are the times when our true friends emerge.

    The outreach strategy I described above should always be used in a way that's respectful and generous. In no way should it be manipulative. The "tactic" is meant to help you keep in step with what they need and want, so that you can be more respectful of where they sit, not less.

    But always, any tactic is only as good as the level of care and genuine regard for others in the person using it.

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